Please don't PM me

[lupine]

hi lupine,

Sorry for thinking you were Stormchild.  I would like to explain myself.  I felt attacked and criticized by Storm, and I come here for support and encouragement, not criticism.  Thanks for asking.

bean

[Ami]

I think that we have to remember that we are a "group" like any other group We  have our misunderstandings  and hurts . Hopefully, we will make it through them all, if we can keep  the lines of communication open with each other. . We need each other too much to get derailed (IMO)
                                                                                          Love   Ami

[Overcomer]

Ahhh That is so nice-That is how mature, healing people respond.

[Ami]

I think that everyone has been on both sides of similar conflicts..We, as humans are vulnerable and easily hurt.I am glad that this worked out well-.

[gratitude28]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((lupine, bean, ami)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You are what makes this site great.

[lighter]

I found the whole thing disconcerting and am so glad things got resolved.  It's not often I get to see resolution so..... congrats and I for one would love to see this thread go away. 

Things like this make it very difficult for newbies to screw up courage enough to post, IMO.  When I first came something, not sure what, was going on and I didn't post sooner than I did bc of it.  Also, I spent time trying to figure out if there were factions and if it would be a safe place to post and that just added trauma on top of the crisis I was dealing with. 

[Hopalong]

Would you like to delete it, Lupine?

Hops

[gratitude28]

Although it does also show that we can be understanding and kind when a person makes a mistake. For me that has always been a big issue. I was always afraid people would hate me if I screwed up. I think people can see that members of the board were able to apologise and move on and that is one of the most important lessons I have learned. As a newcomer, I would feel safe seeing that here.
Kisses,
Beth

[Stormchild]

Just for the record... there are actually three people involved here, and I'm the third one.

Bean didn't PM lupine to talk about the weather.

Please, people, at least consider the fact that I exist, that some of this was about me, and that I might have feelings about it, and a right to be heard.

I don't mind being discussed in PMs, if and when it happens. Scathingly or adoringly, I don't much care. People like me, people don't like me, people can't stand me, people actively hate me? I know who I am, and people have a right to talk privately about pretty much anything they want to, I think.

It just feels weird seeing myself discussed in a PM out here, and then suddenly turning into furniture or something. Like I'm a stage prop in this, but of no importance otherwise in the public exchange. This is not the same thing as a private exchange. I'm here, witnessing it, and I'm not a stone.

Very weird, very dehumanizing. I do understand how it happened, but it still feels very weird.

Thanks all. That's pretty much all I feel a need to say. Now I'm a person here, not just a topic [The "Thing" Bean and Lupine Were Arguing About]. I don't need or intend to argue with anyone; I just want to remind people that there were three human beings involved here.

[lupine]

but of no importance otherwise in the public exchange

Oh, I am sorry again!  I did mention you with no thought to whether you wanted to be mentioned.  I'm sorry because I really do enjoy and respect your thoughts.  You are not a stage prop; I was being thoughtless .   

[reallyME]

and my "vote" is, LEAVE THE POST RIGHT HERE AND DO NOT DELETE IT!

It is a well-known fact that disagreements are part of life.  Maybe someone on this board, grew up with parents that fought all the time and it bugs ya to see people disagree or fight...well, it's part of life, and RESOLVING issues is the next and MOST IMPORTANT part of this.

I feel it is HEALTHY for newbies to read both the argument and the resolution, repentance, forgiveness that came from it.

No, Stormchild...you are certainly not an "object" or piece of furniture.  You happened to be the subject of the situation, and, again, it's part of LIFE and people need to come to a balance with such things.

Blessya'll,

~Laura

[Stormchild]

lupine, it's OK. I was very much a human being to you when you started the thread, and I thought that was part of the reason you started it.

What I was surprised by and concerned about is that everyone here was acting as though this was only about you and bean disagreeing and making up, and the subject of the disagreement was irrelevant.

But what you were disagreeing and making up about involved a living person, and how that person's actions and beliefs were perceived by each of you. Then, all of a sudden that living person ceased to exist. Became totally irrelevant.

That other living person got edited out of the story to make a happy ending nice and tidy for everyone else. It was truly bizarre to see it. There was something 'off' about that, and that's what I wanted to point out.

I enjoy and respect your thoughts too, please don't feel bad about this, I'm not angry, I don't blame anyone. This has helped me, it has shed some very clear light on a FOO thing I've never known how to properly deal with or even articulate before.

(((((lupine)))))

And just to reiterate: from my perspective, bean can talk about me as much or as little as she wants to, in PMs or right out front, and hate my guts with stars on if that's how she feels about it. So can anybody else. I may or may not object, I may or may not care, but it's a free country. .

[gratitude28]

Hi Storm,
I didn't mean to disregard you either. I just am such a spazz about arguments that that is what jumped out at me... not who was involved. Sorry about that!!!!
Love, Beth

[lighter]

Storm.... you're always a person to me and I depend on your advice and support. 

Same with Bean. 

This was all confusing and made me nervouse. 

Not that either of you have an obligation to be supportive, at all times, on a support board but..... it does cause distress. 

[reallyME]

Is it possible that there has been a cultural misunderstanding between Lupe and others?  From the first moment she came to this group, she explained to me that she had trouble understanding and communicating English.  Perhaps there is something that she posted from her point of cultural view and it's being misinterpreted?

~Just a thought, and, Lupe, please don't misunderstand and think I'm attacking you or your hispanic culture either, because the truth is, I LOVE Spanish, I have a hispanic neighbor whom I adore, and I am going to be taking Intermediate Spanish in college soon.  I do know that sometimes, people misunderstand what is meant, because there are differences in upbringing and culture.

~Laura