Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

is it okay to cutt off family for self protection?

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Ishana:
Dear Paige,

I agree with everyone else...you should do whatever it takes for you, your husband and your children to be the healthiest and happiest that you can.  I myself have had very little contact with my father and narcissistic stepmother (my mother passed away when I was a small child).  It really hurts to not see my father, who is not narcissistic but is an enabler in every sense of the word.  I know my father loves me but he is also very sick and lives in her sick world.  It hurts so much that he doesn't love me enough to have a separate relationship with me, but that is his choice.  Honestly, I don't think he would know how to do ANYTHING without her at this point as he is extremely co-dependent with her.  

I know I am stronger from not having interactions with them as they are so crazy-making for me.  Plus, I want to protect my own children from their emotional madness.  You are not alone in making this decision and I hope that brings some measure of comfort to you.

Take care, and please keep posting!

Ishana

kelly8893:
It's funny how sick people seem to kick you when you are down and they never never EVER change. Everyone here has given great advice and please take it. Also find everything you can about Narcissitic people it will be an eye opener, these people rarely if ever change and the ones that do are very small portion of themselves. N people are mean and full of hate, they only love themselves and they have such low self esteem that the only way to make themselves feel better is to put other people down or treat them horriable. You are a mother and you need to do the best you can for your kids and if that means keeping awful people out of their life so be it. You will be much happier and relaxed, moving is a good idea if you can and you don't have to answer to anybody but yourself? You wouldn't let strangers hurt your family, so don't let flesh and blood, just because they are family doesn't mean you have to interact or even talk to them. Family means together but only in love if there is no love then there is no family.

Sorry to hear about your losses, it is very painful to lose people we love and it takes time (Alot of time) to get over that and to feel again, so don't be hard on yourself just take care of yourself and your kids and your husband they are the ones that count- extended family is only a bonus if they are kind to you.  N people are never kind without strings attached!!
I have lost many people in my life in horrible circustances such as yours and the best way to see over the tragedy is to go throught the pain. Take care and know that you are not alone and people you may never meet care about you! Hugs Kelly

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