My mother's sleep

[isittoolate]

Hopsy Hops

You are an angel and a blessing to your Mom.

love
Izzy

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[Certain Hope]

((((((((Hops))))))))

Just passing through with hugs... and I hope you enjoy the movie tonight! 

Love,
Hope

[Poppyseed]

Hops,
Kinda watching this conversation from afar......but wanted to say what a beautiful thread this is.  I hope you get all you need in the moment that you need it as you experience these last moments with your mom.  It is rich and precious experience!
Peace to your heart and rest to your tired limbs,
Poppy

[Hopalong]

Poppy, thank you so much.
I'm afraid I have confused everyone as much as I was confused.

A week ago she seems so deeply asleep for so long that I am sure it must be The Sleep coming on...
she's just bounced back a lot. What I'm catching on to is that it's going to be very very variable, and that
predictions and premature mentals farewells are just me making myself crazy.

Today didnt feel like "last moments" but I just stayed in the present, spent time with her and got her out in the car for the first time in weeks for a ride in the country, and then she felt well enough to go to a restaurant! Amazing.

She really is astonishing.

Thank you, Poppy, for your kindness.

love
Hops

[changing]

Hops-

YOU are astonishing. A ride in the country sounds so real and alive (unlike a hospital or nursing home) and fun! Have a blessed night, my wise friend.


Love you,

Changing

[WRITE]

out in the car for the first time in weeks for a ride in the country, and then she felt well enough to go to a restaurant! Amazing.

did you enjoy it and each other's company?

It can take people a long time to die Hops, a small number of our patients I was convinced wouldn't be here in days have rallied and lived instead for years, it can sometimes be unpredictable though most times I think the sense of someone passing has been accurate.

But my MS friend is still here, those eyes still twinking and she's still laughing despite almost complete immobility now.
I told her G_d had other plans for her including being my encouragement and inspiration, she says she prays for me and wouldn't have had time if she wasn't sick; of course we both saw the humour in some people needing round-the-clock prayers for them, so more laughter.

Don't worry about the paperwork Hops, it'll get done.

Love
~W

[Hopalong]

We did more or less enjoy it.
I stayed in the present and felt pleased by her pleasure.
I hadn't forseen her going out again.

You're right. She could live to 106, easy.

Oy.
It's a blessing to have a job that gets me out.

Hops

[WRITE]

How is the job? Are you enjoying it still?

~W

[Hopalong]

I am, Write!
It pulls on my strengths and most of all, I do feel respected and appreciated.

(I'd rather not work so hard or for such long hours, but it's fun. And I haven't had fun at work for many years.) And the business is growing like crazy. Large part due to my creative marketing.

I have financial worries, the salary's not great, but for now, I'm just glad to have it.
The last few years were nightmarishly stressful. I thought ageism and sexism in the local market doomed me, and this funny door opened when I emailed the owner in the middle of the night. Odd.

Awful (well, I know it's not awful--thanks board!) to say, but when Mom is gone all sorts of creative space would open up in me,, despite the job time drain. This is the kind of job that's done when it's done. I don't take it home.

Thanks for asking, Write. I'm always inspired by your tales of fulfilling work too.

love
Hops

[isittoolate]

Hiya Hops

so happy to hear about your Mom.

now I just cannot go back through all the posts, but I expect she is NOT an N and that the two of you have a good relationship!!!!

How wonderful she can enjoy the simple thinks of which she is capable.

(Well that's me at 68, so I have 28 + years to go???--Sheesh I hope I can still throw a wheelchair into the car! at 106!!!)

Love to you and Mom
Izzy

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[WRITE]

the business is growing like crazy. Large part due to my creative marketing.

that's wonderful!

I have financial worries, the salary's not great, but for now, I'm just glad to have it.

finances dog me too, but I just think the universe will provide and so far it has...

for example:

this funny door opened when I emailed the owner in the middle of the night. Odd.

[Hopalong]

Hi Izzz,
My mother is a subtle verrrrry NNNNish person. (Never raged or cursed or hit...just blank-feeling, and very manipulative, and All About Her, and such stuff etc.)

But after years of struggle and anger and one explosion (mine), there came peace.

Now in extreme old age she is vulnerable and dependent, and I'm kind, and she's grateful, and we're at peace.
For which I'm very thankful.

love
Hops

[teartracks]

Hi dear Hops,

I've been missing you.  The board is rushing along at such a pace lately, I just can't keep up.  BUT, I wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you and old mama.  Your above post is so tender and kind. 

Today, my mom reached out with one arm to hug me.  I could tell there was a lot of emotion behind it, though I didn't question it.  I just accepted it with cautious gratefulness.  There have been so few of those times in our life.  I'll cherish it.  I wondered if it is a sign that she is entering the stage you described about you and yours.   I have some pretty daunting times ahead.  Don't know how well I'll hold up. 

Lately she has aggressively accused me of moving her money around.  She thinks I'm taking money out of her checking account and redepositing back into the same account giving her a larger balance than it should be.  My standard answer now is mama, go eat a banana.  I think low potassium may be behind the confusion.  I asked her that if she is going to accuse me of doing something to please make it look at least like I'm clever crook.  Taking money out of an account and redepositing it in that same account...well, that doesn't seem very clever, does it?

Appreciating you Hops and wishing you and your charge the best.

tt

[Hopalong]

Thanks, TT. Great kindness.

I think a one-armed hug from an old N is quite amazing! Maybe it's the same softening that I think mortality is bringing to mine, as well. Glad you got that.

Blessings back to you. Maybe we can help hold each other up when the hardest chapter comes.

love
Hops

[Ami]

Dear TT and Hops,
  Our dear friend Vaknin says that there can be a  softening of N in older age.  Love and Hugs to you, both          Love    Ami