When I read this today, the story of Meribaal touched me so deeply that I was stunned... just shaken... by the reality of how life in this broken world, amidst broken people, can quickly and radically dissolve our best aspirations, intentions, goals, and hopes.
Looking into the Bible account of Meribal, it's clear that he did nothing to earn his name (which reflected his position in life); this young man was simply born into the "wrong" family.
[ Brief Disclaimer: When I say that Meribal did nothing, that in no way discounts what I believe to be the fact - that every human being is born in need of a Saviour.
What I mean is that Meribal's status and the shameful, fearful, isolated, condemning, seemingly hopelessly doomed burden under which he lived for the first 20 years of his life was not his responsibility. To this, I hope that Christians and non-Christians alike can relate.]
So here's the account of F. Remy Diederich and Meribal, both of whom found genuine healing for shame and had their life stories re-written by the One who gave them life in the first place.
My prayer is that God will touch the hearts of all those in need, as He calls to each of us to receive the lovingkindness which He freely offers to all in Christ Jesus. He alone, in my belief, can permanently change a person's position, self-revelation, status, and identity... from Meribaal to Mephibosheth.
With love,
Hope
Meribal -
A Story of Scattered Shame http://www.bethel.edu/alumni/HeartMind/vol14no3/meribaal/index.htmlF. Remy Diederich writes:
Twelve years ago I decided to leave the ministry. Not forever--I just needed some time to gain perspective. Fellow ministers were burning out and dropping likes flies, and I did not want to become just another statistic.
Rather than simply take time off, however, my wife and I decided to try something radical. Tired of the hypocritical, superficial Christianity we had seen in the church, we decided to live in community with two other Christian families. Our goal was to "love one another" as we daily lived out the Christian life on an idyllic Wisconsin dairy farm.
Before long, however, one of the families moved away, and with them their manpower and financial support. Never having farmed before, I suddenly found myself in constant crisis mode. Equipment broke, animals died, exhaustion set in, and I barely had time to spend with my own family, let alone anyone else. Church was something we did on Sunday--but only if nothing broke or died first. Rather than "loving one another," our partners seemed more like enemies than friends. To top it all off, my wife felt I had emotionally abandoned her (which I had) and I became short-tempered with my three children.
In no area of my life was I performing better than a C minus. As husband, father, friend, worker, and Christian, I was failing miserably. God, this wasn't the deal, I thought. My dream life has turned into a nightmare. Indeed it seemed like God was working against me!
Have you ever been in that place, where so many things go wrong that you begin to think God is working against you? Maybe you feel like that even now.
Tucked away in the Bible in I and II Samuel is the story of Meribaal. Everything in Meribaal's life indicated that God was working against him. Even his name meant "the God who fights against me." This man obviously had some issues! Perhaps his story will afford us some hope.
Once upon 3,000 years ago...
Israel's first ruler, King Saul, was an excellent leader, but he made the mistake of disobeying God. Consequently, God chose David to replace him. Saul knew his days were numbered, but he refused to let David take the throne without a fight. In fact he spent as much time trying to kill David as he did fighting his enemies.
Ironically, David and Saul's son Jonathan were best friends. "I don't know if you've noticed," David said to Jonathan, "but your dad's spears are hitting pretty close! Can you help me?" Now Jonathan knew if he helped David, David would probably become king. But if David became king, he might kill Jonathan and all of Saul's other relatives (as it was the practice of new kings to kill the previous king's entire family).
"If you promise not to kill me or my descendants when you become king," Jonathan vowed, "I will do all I can to prevent my dad from hitting his mark." So they struck a covenant.
Not long after that, both Saul and Jonathan perished in a battle with the Philistines. David took the throne, and Saul's family, fearing death, fled Jerusalem. Among them was Jonathan's five-year-old son. In the rush to evacuate, the boy's nurse dropped him, and he lost the use of both his feet. Maybe a horse trampled him, we don't know. But the nurse grabbed him and smuggled him into the desert to live in exile, 20 miles away.
In this account the boy is unnamed, but I Chronicles 8 refers to him as Meribaal, "the God who fights against me." My guess is that his nurse gave him the name after their escape, and it is easy to see why. First, his father and grandfather were killed. Second, since no one knew about David's covenant with Jonathan, the nurse must have believed he was in constant danger of assassination. Finally, he was crippled, and in that day to be crippled was a sign that God had cursed you. So she called him Meribaal.
Think about it! One day this kid is the pampered grandson of a king living in a royal palace, and the next he is a crippled orphan from a dishonored family living in self-imposed exile in the desert. His only hope is to survive and pray that no one learns of his existence. And if he should forget he is cursed of God, he has his name to remind him. How would you like to be in his shoes?
The truth is, perhaps you are in his shoes. Perhaps you are experiencing the same pain that permeated Meribaal's life--the pain of shame.
The pain of shame
The pain of shame comes when you believe that something in life has damaged you,
perhaps permanently and beyond repair. Maybe you were abused, ridiculed, or neglected as a child. Maybe your family hides some dark secret, or you have been involved in some activity you deem subhuman. Whatever the cause, you see yourself as defective and worthless, and every day for you is a "walk of shame."
The pain of shame forces you to fear being exposed for who you really are. Thus you do one of two things: you work desperately to be perfect, to be above scrutiny, or you withdraw from life and don't even try to measure up. You are so convinced of your worthlessness that your achievements seem like dust. Even God must have given up on you; indeed He might even be working against you. Survival is your best hope. The pain of shame is the same, whether you are Meribaal sitting in a desert 3,000 years ago, or a pastor sitting at your kitchen table wondering how life ever came to this...
Meanwhile,
back in Jerusalem...
Fifteen years have passed. Meribaal is still living in the desert and David is still king. In II Samuel 9:1, David marvels at God's blessings--his kingdom has expanded greatly and he has become quite wealthy. "God, you have been so good to me," he says. "Is there anyone to whom I can show favor as a way of demonstrating my gratitude?" Suddenly, David remembers his covenant with Jonathan. Summoning his servant, he inquires, "Does anyone remain from the household of Jonathan?"
"Yes," the servant replies. "Jonathan's son lives in the desert." At once David dispatches a battalion to bring back the young man.
Can you imagine what went through Meribaal's mind as he watched this battalion approach? For fifteen years he sat at his window, spying no one in the desert except an occasional lost traveler. And that's just how he wanted it. Sure, he was lonely but at least he was safe.
Then one day he sees a vast cloud of dust rolling across the sand. This is no lost traveler. His heart beats a little faster. "Can this be what I have dreaded all these years?" he wonders. Soon he can see the manned horses, and then the royal colors draped down their sides. His heart races. Someone pounds on the door. "Is this the house of Meribaal?"
Screwing up his courage, he answers, "Yes."
"We have come to bring you to the king," he hears. "The king would be honored to meet with you."
"Yeah, right!" he tells himself. "This is just a ruse to lure me away, only to be made a laughingstock and tortured to death before the people." But what could he do--he'd been found. Reluctantly, he consents to go with them.
With his stomach in knots and his heart in his throat, Meribaal spends the dusty trip back to Jerusalem crafting his plea for mercy. When finally he is brought before David, he throws himself at the king's feet. But David smiles at him, and with a twinkle in his eye calls him "Mephibosheth!" David is about to change Meribaal's life, and begins by changing his name.
"Mephibosheth" means "He who scatters my shame." But the Hebrew actually communicates a separating or shattering, as when an axe splinters a block of wood. It implies the total removal of something. And this is exactly what David intends to do for Meribaal, to totally remove his shame.
Five encouraging words
Isn't that how it is with God? We fear His condemnation when He longs only to show us His kindness. David proceeds to encourage Meribaal on five fronts (II Samuel 9:7-10) that serve to scatter his shame. And through David's words, God speaks to us as well.
"Do not be afraid!" Meribaal is more than afraid; he is terrified! After 15 years in hiding, he is suddenly exposed. What's next, he wonders. Do you fear exposure? Maybe you are thinking, "If people knew what I am really like, they would not want to associate with me." But God says, "Do not be afraid." When He scatters your shame He accepts you unconditionally--regardless of your past.
"I will surely show you kindness." Kindness was the last thing Meribaal expected as he rode across that desert. More likely, he was imagining what manner of humiliation or execution he might be facing. What about you? Are you so convinced of your unworthiness that you focus on the bad things that might happen, rather than on how God wants to bless you? David's kindness was based on his covenant with Jonathan, not on Meribaal's worthiness. Likewise, God's kindness is based on how good He is, not on how good you are. When God scatters your shame, He demonstrates His goodness.
"I will restore all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul." Meribaal had assumed his inheritance was gone forever. Have you made similar assumptions? Have you committed such seemingly permanent and unforgivable mistakes that you think, "There's no way I can ever live a life of blessing"? If so, you are believing a lie. David restored Meribaal's inheritance, and God wants to restore yours as well. And He will spare no expense reconstructing those damaged or destroyed parts of your life. When God scatters your shame, He restores your loss.
"You will always eat at my table." The king's table was reserved for the royal family and the heads of state. Meribaal could not imagine such honor. But David wanted everyone to understand that Meribaal's heritage and his crippled legs had no bearing on his worth. It was as if to say, "Meribaal sits at my table because he is honored in my sight and he is my friend, now and always." God welcomes you into His presence forever. When God scatters your shame, He honors you by relating to you personally.
Finally, David promises to grant Meribaal all the servants of King Saul. Not only did Meribaal now have land, but also the resources to work the land. "What's the catch?" Meribaal must have thought. How about you? Are you tempted to think, "They will accept me only if I live up to their standards"? But David's was a "no strings attached" offer, and so too is God's. When God scatters your shame, there are no strings attached.
Who is like God?
Ultimately Meribaal, now Mephibosheth, received David's kindness and took his place at the king's table. And soon he married and had a son, naming him "Micah" or "Who is like God?"
Who is like God? Who but God can restore a crippled, orphaned, enemy of the state to a place of honor? Who but God can forgive you and me of all our past sin, failure, and shame, and welcome us into a relationship with Him?
Meribaal's story seemed destined to end in shame and defeat in a barren desert. But God rewrote the ending to Meribaal's story. He can rewrite yours as well. The prophet Isaiah said that God "longs to be gracious to you" (Isaiah 30:18). In other words, God is waiting for you to receive His kindness. Don't walk away. Accept it and take your place at His table; let Him scatter your shame.
God has restored Remy Diederich, M.Div. '01, from struggling dairy farmer back into ministry as administrative pastor for the Menomonie Alliance Church in Menomonie, Wisconsin. Remy also conducts "Life Change" seminars addressing issues of shame, self worth, anger, and forgiveness, and teaches spirituality classes at Arbor Place, an alcohol and drug abuse treatment center in Menomonie. Email him
