Confronting a person with boundary confusion

[dandylife]

Hope,
Glad to be helpful! I've made so many conversations worse with the best of intentions, so I willed myself to hang in and learn how to do it better.

Much love,
Dandylife

[Gaining Strength]

These are not things to say to someone important to you in EMAIL. These are also not things you'd take the time to say to someone who is NOT important to you.

So, if you're not important to him, then he has an extremely inappropriate sense of what your relationship is. If you ARE important to him, then I suggest you tell him that if he has something important like this to say to you, you'd like to discuss it face to face so that you can dialogue and not be given a monologue to read. (!)

Dandy Life - you've got it.  You see - there really isn't a "relationship" of ANY kind.  There is sort of an acquaintence and some shared interests.  I think you've got it when you say, "he has an extremely inappropriate sense of what your relationship is."

I've decided just to let it go.  Over the past year on several occassions I've gotten mixed signals and tried to clarify.  He would say, "Oh no mixed signals - just looking for a friend." and then the mixed signals would come again.  And the whole cycle would repeat itself until this time - now I've had enough.  All the mixed signals suggest that he is not as in touch with himself as he would like to be.  That he still doesn't see any mixed message between "couples" "breathing" exercises and "just friends" is rather bizarre to me and is just too much like the craziness I've lived with in the past.  I haven't heard from him again and don't expect to and that says alot as well.

[dandylife]

Whew!
I'm actually feeling relieved for you. It seems this person would have been exhausting to have in your life!

(((((GS))))))

Dandylife