Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

As some of you may be aware, I've been dealing with a bit of a roller-coaster ride since I got elected to the HOA Board.  I had to assert myself when the newly-appointed HOA president attempted to force me into a private meeting with him and property management....a meeting that I never asked for.  When I declined the "offer", he sent me a nasty e-mail demanding whether or not I was questioning his abilities.  I told him that I choose to decline the "offer" of this private meeting.

This evening, when I got home from having an evening out with friends, I discover an e-mail from this newly-appointed HOA president resigning from everything effective immediately.  (This is not the first time he has quit.)  It appears that if anyone dares disagree with him, he picks up his marbles and goes home to sulk.  I couldn't help but notice, over the years, that his attitude seems to be:  "His way or no way."

To clarify what I meant by newly-appointed....he was appointed to the Board, by the Board members, not elected by the home owners, in order to fill a vacancy left by a former member who moved out of state.  These same Board members who appointed him to the Board also appointed him as the new Board president.

I've had one other person send me an e-mail suggesting I should "suck up" to this individual and persuade him not to quit.  I don't see the point in "sucking up" to anyone, when it's insincere in the first place plus given the fact that my asking questions is not going to stop.  My questioning authority is what set off the quitting snit to begin with.

When someone says to me:  "I order!!!  You obey!!!  Don't ask any questions!!!!"  My response will be:  "I don't think so!  I'm nobody's slave and I have the right to ask questions...especially when it involves a financial impact on me!"  "Sucking up" is NOT going to resolve that!

[Ales2]

I'm right there with you Bones. Freedom of information is important - not being able to ask questions - or be given false or misleading answers is worth standing up for. You are doing the right thing - trick is doing it in a constructive manner. He sounds terrible, the ones I dislike the most are the ones where I feel I have to strategize with - when I have to do that with someone, the interaction will have to be worth it - and if I can simply walk away I will. I prefer to be assertive and be myself, my people pleasing or acquiescing days are over. Within reason, if someone doesnt like me, I simply walk away and say thank you universe.

Hang in there - HOA is one of those situations its hard to just walk away from.

[BonesMS]

I'm right there with you Bones. Freedom of information is important - not being able to ask questions - or be given false or misleading answers is worth standing up for. You are doing the right thing - trick is doing it in a constructive manner. He sounds terrible, the ones I dislike the most are the ones where I feel I have to strategize with - when I have to do that with someone, the interaction will have to be worth it - and if I can simply walk away I will. I prefer to be assertive and be myself, my people pleasing or acquiescing days are over. Within reason, if someone doesnt like me, I simply walk away and say thank you universe.

Hang in there - HOA is one of those situations its hard to just walk away from.

Thanks, Ales2.  In this case, it not only impacts me financially, it impacts all the homeowners financially.  Those who voted for me told me that they are sick and tired of property management acting as if they own us and rule us instead of being the employees they actually are.  Since I'm representing the homeowners, I need to listen and bring those concerns to the Board and fight for what's right....not get "blown off" and told to give blind, unquestioning obedience to property management.

[BonesMS]

For a bit of fun this morning:

http://mashable.com/2012/05/23/googles-moog-doodle-the-inside-story/

Today is the birthday of the inventor of the Moog Synthesizer and when you go to www.google.com, we get to play with an online version of the instrument!!!

[BonesMS]

Today's "Dear Abby" sounds familiar:

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120524

[BonesMS]

And once again, the "Annie's" DON'T GET IT!!!!

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-long-trip-to-tenuous.html

[BonesMS]

Just got an e-mail from property management.  Looks like more HOA drama is on the way.  Sigh!!   

[BonesMS]

checking in.......................

[BonesMS]

It's a long weekend and finding constructive things to do to keep busy.

Went to the Archives yesterday to do genealogy to my heart's content!   

The pool opens today and the temperature is supposed to go into the 90's so I'm looking forward to getting into the pool!

Seeing some former classmates tonight at a nearby cafe' that will be featuring LIVE music!!

Checking out the wildlife that is around here including a turtle nest that is nearby.

Maybe take more naps if I feel like it.

[BonesMS]

Pay it forward:

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120527

[BonesMS]

checking in.......................

[BonesMS]

checking in......................

[BonesMS]

Sounds like the LW1 is dealing with an NBitch and her Co-NBrother!

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/collaring-catty-kate.html

[BonesMS]

checking in.......................

[BonesMS]

Feeling out of sorts and my weight is climbing back up....................