Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
Izzy_*now*:
I don't think it is N-ish. To violate another's boundaries could be just someone who has no boundaries of their own!
They just don't recognize the boundary or the violation.
I'm not sure to whom I am speaking.. maybe just because I posted my own on Boundaries.
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oh sorry Bones!
Certain Hope:
Thanks, Deb!
Helps alot to hear of some specific examples of how the legal custody part of it works :)
My granddaughter is 4 now and looking forward to Kindergarden this coming Fall, so... I'll pass this on to my daughter and advise her to be sure the school is copied on the court judgment.
In the meanwhile, she told me yesterday that her ex called, gloating, apparently thinking that he really has the upper hand because he didn't have to return their daughter. So obnoxious! Once the court documents arrive via mail, the police will accompany J to pick up the little girl... because trouble is just about guaranteed, where this guy is concerned. He's really gotten nasty now that she has a boyfriend... even though he and my daughter haven't been together in nearly 3 years. It's clear that he still thinks of her... and their child... as his own personal property. Looking forward to the end of this drama so that they can all move on with their lives!
Love to you,
Carolyn
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Certain Hope on April 14, 2008, 09:21:06 PM ---
--- Quote from: BonesMS on April 13, 2008, 12:26:02 PM ---
As long as they leave us alone, things are fine. At times, I keep wondering when the next shoe is gonna drop.
Bones
--- End quote ---
Yup... other shoe or anvil, whatever the case may be. I felt like that throughout the first three years of no contact with ex-husband, but eventually they do move on, I believe, Bones. When there's absolutely no response, no feedback, they will find someone else with whom to play cat and mouse.
Bones, remember when you checked for me re: incarceration details/visitation vis my former son-in-law?
Well, he wound up getting weekend jail-tiime for his drug charges and is still a mess, sadly. But just today, my daughter finally got word that she's won full physical custody of their 4 year old daughter. But.... get this - - they still share joint legal custody. Can you imagine?! Why in the world the court thinks that man should have any say whatsoever in the education, health, and welfare of the little girl who has seen the police involved in her family life more times than... well... I dunno, it's beyond me.
Anyhow, at least there's finally a decision and hopefully he'll accept it and move on.... time will tell.
Hope your week is good.
Love,
Carolyn
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Carolyn!
As for the legal situation, I don't understand the thinking of the courts.
Bones
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Izzy_*now* on April 14, 2008, 11:02:00 PM ---I don't think it is N-ish. To violate another's boundaries could be just someone who has no boundaries of their own!
They just don't recognize the boundary or the violation.
I'm not sure to whom I am speaking.. maybe just because I posted my own on Boundaries.
,
,
,
,
,
,
oh sorry Bones!
--- End quote ---
In the case of NDoofus, I now understand that it IS N behavior on her part!
Bones
BonesMS:
Well, I guess you can say that the other anvil just dropped!
NDoofus sent me ANOTHER e-mail...but nothing personalized. It was one of those "chain" e-mails that request that you forward it on to everyone in your address book with a "promise" that you will get something in return. (I don't like chain-letters in any form.) I still have not responded to her. I don't want to open that door.
Bones
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