Asserting Myself---

[isittoolate]

Someone called me today.

He was my supervisor when I was in the car crash.

He knows my daughter and grandchildren; she writes to him, and visits--whereas she and I are estranged.

He telephones me 2-3 times a year and each call is filled with all this stuff about my daughter and the kids, a 5 page letter he received (he's 78 and not on the Internet) all the thing s I don't know, such as I asked daughter in an email if my granddaughter was beginnning  University this year. Daughter never answered that question.

He told me Mags in not in school.

He has already read the book about my grandson and told me all about it--- how hard the writer was on certain characters. I told him I hadn't read it yet and he kept going on and on. I told him to stop and let me read it for myself (Oh haven'y you got it yet?) as I was the one who contacted the author and told him that there were no heroes in that story, so to interview all the people carefully and think sensibly about what he was being told.

It was a mess of misguided thinking on an ill-equipped ketch and my gransdson could have died.

After 1 hour and 46 minutesd and 43 seconds I said I had to go but first I said I didn't want any more calls from him that even mention how much he is connected to her and I am not. Then I said,"That will cut your phone calls down to about 5 minutes, eh?"

That made me feel good!

Love
Izzy

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Certain Hope]

((((((Izzy))))))

Have you ever before told him that the content of his calls creates  this __________ (insert appropriate feeling)
in you?

Love,
Hope

[isittoolate]

Hi Hope,

No I hadn't but then he hasn't callled  since I began therapy so there is another 'feeling' surfacing from therapy and I was feeling ill at what he was doing! Like he knew it all and I knew nothing.

Well so be it but I won't have him lording it over me, nor will I allow him to tell me "I should_____________________" Should" is a controlling word from my standpoint right now, I told him, so please not use it!

Love
Izzy

[Certain Hope]

Oh, Izzzzzzzyyyy, I sense a veritable plethora of feelings coming down the pike!

This is cause for rejoicing!

You go, sister 

Love,
Hope

[isittoolate]

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Won't that be good news for my therapist when she returns from vacation.

It sort of feels like I might had a handle on what I'm doing.

Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh!!

Thanks
Izzy

[Certain Hope]

lol... poor therapist... she goes on vacation and you have a major breakthrough ...Only teasing, Iz 

But I do think that facing your fears over the sibling visit... and then thriving through it - wow!...
when I think of that 8 months waiting you've been through, on top of all the years before, you are quite something, Izzy!

You've worked so hard, and it seems like those feelings were just propelling you foreward, unbeknownst to you, from their place in hiding.

I sure wish that you and I had both known to call out for attention when we were small... somehow. Shyness.

But my kids... each one began talking at a very early age, and especially the last one, my son (probably from having 3 sisters and me always chattering around him). I will never forget... he was maybe 19 months old and I was changing his diaper on the couch, trying to hear a news story, and he was telling me something, but not gaining my entire attention. Finally, he bellowed out, "Mama!!"  and I leaned down to smile at him... and he put his hands on my face and pulled me closer and said to me, so seriously, "LEESEN to me, Mama!"
Yessir. That's exactly what I'll do!

Happy dance, Izzy

Love,
Hope

[Gaining Strength]

Oh Hope  How incredibly dear!
"he put his hands on my face and pulled me closer and said to me, so seriously, "LEESEN to me, Mama!""


Izzy - way to go.  Way to assert yourself. 

I've been a sporadic reader for several months so I am not attuned to the book about your grandson.  Would you mind telling me about it?

[isittoolate]

Oh how cute!

Out of the mouths of Babes.

As Dr. G. says re voicelessness, if we don't meet the child in his world ..............................

so MANY, shut ups and don't touch mes and quit thats and Mom make her stops , I would have a great big space inside where good stuff could be instead of this ball of cement that almost needs a jackhammer or a bomb!

so let your kids talk, but some of  it has to be to you, as well as each other. My brother shared 2 secrets with me when we were growing up and that made me feel closer to him. No secrets with any sister...............I don't know about them with each other.....

Yep

This is us doing the happy dance
Love
Izzy

[attachment deleted by admin]

[isittoolate]

oh Hi GS

Yes, wasn't that a sweet story from Hope, and a lesson for all!

Thanks.. everytime I assert myself, I feel better----if I do, I know I did right for me.
If I were to feel worse I would rethink the situation.

My grandson had about ½ hour left to live in the North Atlantic when Iceland rescue came for him in the icy waters were he, at 17, held onto his dead uncle's body for 1½ hours +, as bodies don't come back up, if they sink there. The family could have closure. The Uncle was the owner of the ill-equipped boat.

Grandson telephoned me on Aug 7th, promised me an autographed book, but being an Nish trait 21 year old now of an totally N father, he might forget the promise, so I ordered one from Amazon.

Daughter never told me. The guy that called me knew and has his and read it already! Well since he's 78, he'll be dead before I am.

heh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh heh

Love Izzy

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Certain Hope]

Daughter never told me. The guy that called me knew and has his and read it already! Well since he's 78, he'll be dead before I am.

heh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh hehheh heh

Love Izzy

o my... okay, now yer frightenin me over here, Izzy... lol... don't let it all hang out at once     

((((((((((GS))))))))))))       (((((((((((((Izzy)))))))))))))    I think I'll go happy-dance my way in there and hug my boy! Maybe the teen, too, if she's not too irritable... lol. Call the Mounties if I'm not back by tomorrow!

Love,
Hope

[isittoolate]

LOL Hope
You're okay.

It seemed like an 'evil' thing to do, on one hand, but on the other he is somewhat of a control freak and it felt good because he had absolutely no comeback for that.

The woman who was her sitter when I worked is also on the list. They are in the same city. Know one another.

He told me that my daughter had been to see this woman etc. She also tells me things but in a different manner, not lording it over me, but I already know rhese things from him.

HoH boy~~

Love
Izzy

[attachment deleted by admin]

[isittoolate]

I was thinking about this post, and how long he has been calling me, and all the things he has told me about daughter and the kids.

It's been at least 12 years that he's reported whether I knew or not, and I just took it. I'd be a little grumpy and have been trying to think iof a way to turn him off, and yesterday it just happened automatically.

He's the one who keeps sending me these big long stemmed flowers...they reach the ceiling, at least.. and sitting down I cannot manage them, so second last call I told him that his flowers are too long and that if he feels he needs to send flowers, smaller bouquest will be appreciated.

Izzy

[isittoolate]

Wow posts disappear quickly. This was on page 5

The Drug Store shorted me 38 pills (likely 40 on the count) I noticed I was running out too soon---------------------------- wasn't me---had to be them----------------------------I was a bit nervous

but there was no problen. She just counted out 38 pills and put them in my container.

Wow I like sticking up for myself.

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Hopalong]

Izzy,
Do you create these amazing little "gif"s? Whatever that is.

I like this little happy-dance guy.

thanks!

Hops

[isittoolate]

No Hops

I don't create them. There are enough on the Internet, that when I see them I save them to a folder and then I have them for whenever....................................................

I like this one too, & I was happy that I wasn't afraid to "take on the Drug-Store!!"  I believe there would be a time I would go to the doctor and ask for the missing pills --for whatever reason. But I knew, from the awful taste, there was no way I would swallow 38 bitter, bitter pills, just to get 38 more and a diuretic at that!

Am puzzling over my word association game, but in my search, I found a Forum of people sharing answers. I'm just joining now---don't know all at 68---times change!

Love Izzy

If they are attached like this, they need to be clicked to move if they are animated, and to enlarge a bit.

[attachment deleted by admin]