Tough Weekend

[Gaining Strength]

Even more of having someone do domestic things with me. Someone to chat with while I go through simple domestic chores. The way sisters (I had no sisters) or close friends spend time in each other's spaces, relaxed, feeling at home, helping each other.

Reality: no exercise in many months, so not feeling well. Slipping up badly on self-care (food choices, etc.)

Boy do I identify with these words.  On Saturday I could hardly bear the thought of a long weekend with noone to do anything with.  I called my brother's father-in-law and asked if my little boy and I could go to their mountain cabin a couple of hours away.  So we went for Sunday and Monday.  It was nice but it was also lonely.  I really miss having a group of friends and lots of social life.  It has been decades but I sure remember.

Glad you are feeling better.

[bluemorning]

Dear Hops,

Maybe just call up one or two friends and tell them you need a little bit of their time. Allowing yourself to say what you need and let someone meet that need--it is so powerful. Sometimes even if it is just for a few hours, it can make a big difference. Do something you enjoy. I find that if I just go to a movie or to a bookstore with a friend and don't spend a lot of time processing and talking.... a lot of my friends and I swap mutual "Woe" stories... that is is a better situation.

I do know the feeling, though, and how just today sitting on my back steps alone I wished so much for a house full of people and someone to share my time with. I've found that sometimes I just seek out a little bit of companionship and that goes a long way. The girl at the coffeehouse always chats, my elderly but fiesty neighbor will give me some time to talk... these little bits really help even if they aren't siting by me spending time. I feel more connected to the world that way.

Thank you so much for your posts.

Blue

[lighter]

(((Hops)))

Back in the saddle again, lol.

[Hopalong]

Thanks, Blue (would've gladly spent an hour sitting on your porch last wknd) and Lighter, I'm leaving my messy room messy and taking off for the beach (well, a town near the beach) tomorrow to spend the wknd with a friend who's having a woeful time after her marriage collapsed.

She's pretty intense but I care about her and it will do me good to be on the road. Back Sunday night.

I've realized I usually spend my wknds lying around feeling guilty about not doing stuff here, and sometimes going away gives me a perspective that helps me be more active when I get back. I'll give it a go.

Got the nice afternoon lady to agree to spend time here with Mom, and both nights. So I'll go with no guilt, too.
(Mom's only complaint about her is that she's boring. Pot, calling Kettle...) 

Hops

[teartracks]

Dear Hops,

Liberty, sweet liberty.  Have a good, relaxing weekend. 

tt

[CB123]

Hops,

Have a wonderful weekend!  Doing some gazing out at the ocean for me while you are at it, okay?

Love,
CB

[Poppyseed]

AXA, it makes me so happy to picture you on the river: )

Poppy..... I want you to go on that trip and remember to observe those around you.  Observe yourself.

It would break my heart to picture your eyes skittering around the room, fearful that you aren't going to say the right htings or people won't like you or you'll blow it....

They WANT to like you, Poppy and they alreadt DO!

Relax and know you're going to be justs fine.  Deep breaths.... don't hold it in don't fear.

Laugh.  Be you and talk about what you think.

Of course, drinking 4 bottles of wine and talking about your husbands is bound to be trouble so..... keep it to children and interests and thoughts about your present moments.  I envy you the social engagement..... will there be cooking?  With other people?

Wow... .that really makes me happy for you. 

Pretend you're fine and worhty and wonderful company, if you have to.  At some point,  you'll believe it and see that it's true. 

Lighter,

Thanks for this.  NO drinking four bottles of wine!  NOTED!
I am excited to go.  This couple (that invited our fam on the trip) just called and asked if we wanted to have dinner and go to an art show tonight.  Got the sitter and we are going!  Thanks for the advice to stand up and BE! I'LL do it!!
Yes there will be food ( i love to cook for people), probably lots of bbq!  and swimming for the kids and golf for the guys.  It should be a really great time!
Feels good to start building friendships in the 3D world.
I'll tell you how it goes.


HOPS!  Sorry to divert the thread.  But here you go.  I'll hand it back to you.
How are you doing anyway?  Hope its good!

Poppy

[lighter]

Hops..... it will do you good to get away and take a break from your own life.... spend some time observing someone else's grief can remind us we have blessings we forgot to count.

Have a good trip and help that woman organize some stuff!  It's so much more fun to dive into other people's messes and feel rejuvinated by the progress we can make.

Bring ice cream..... ummm..... maybe a a couple feel good movies that almost make you pee your pants together.

What else...... oh ya!

Remember to tell her it's OK.... no matter what, it'll be ok.

She's in the void now, but it doesn't last. 

Help her brainstorm some activities and interests she can cultivate and get a plan together to start.

 

Poppy.... you're gonna have a great time.  Read on some things you're interested in.  Ask them for their opinions.  Have your opinions and share them.  There's nothing interesting about people who don't have opinions.

Just make sure you're open to other views and enjoy experiencing them.  Use your humor.  Fear of failure kills humor.  Don't fear.... what you fear will find you. 

Be yourself and concentrate on what you do want to come into your life. 

Picture it. 

Do not fear: ) 

[Poppyseed]

Be myself!

Know what I want!

Picture it!

Do not fear!

GOT IT!  (Rocky music now playing in the background!)

[cats paw]

Hi Hopalong,

   How did your weekend go?

cats paw