Yes to all above. Seeker, yes especially to b) and e) too. I try to be gracious when receiving one but have had to train myself. Like “
That’s a nice jacket” from a senior work colleague makes me think: ‘oh right, I usually don’t look so good so this is like telling me I need to smarten up’ but I just say thank you. It’s getting easier.
Oh and I never believe it when people talk up my obvious skills …. I expect they either want to use me, or they’re being condescending (like they think I don’t know what I’m good at really, even if I pretend not to know or hide it – my lack of self-esteem is my problem, so don’t expect you can trample all over it too! Does that make sense?).
And on this note, er…. yeowwww…thank you Seeker for what you said yesterday about me having earned my board stripes! Of course I went – owwwerrrr? – not yet please, I’m not worthy and heck, I might turn out to be something I don’t know I am yet. Treading carefully with myself, on my own eggshells. Just jumpy I guess.
About clothes, I had a female colleague who, whenever complimented on her clothes, would respond with “
You like this? You want it? I’ll give it to you.”. I kinda liked this, it tests the person giving the compliment – are they sincere? Also are they coveting your item or are they admiring you wearing it? I tried this with mother ages ago. She said in the usual over-the-top way “
Oh that’s a beau-ti-ful silk scarf, it must have been ver-y expensive.” I said no, it was from a junk shop and look at the holes in it. She says “
oh that’s where the moths have eaten it over the years, it must be ve-ry go-oood silk.” I got fed up and took it off saying here, have it, if you like it so much, you have it. She was shocked and almost didn’t know what to do, but she took it anyway. Doubt she’s ever worn it, but it might have given her the message to keep her false compliments to herself.
I’ve just seen another compliment - may I use this thread to say thank you? It keeps the other thread clean and it’s more appropriate here and….it means one less post for my name! Okay (thanks Wildflower for the thread). Thank you to sjkravill who said:
For what it's worth, I like hearing your voice.... Maybe we could both try to worry less about it..
What it’s worth? – your voice is worth a lot here sjkravill. And yes, maybe we should both not worry about posting too much, you especially, you don’t appear to me to be a rampant poster at all! No way, please post away - and even if you were a prolific poster, there’s no law against it, in fact some prolifics don’t half brighten the place up sometimes!
