Physical and/vs. Mental Pain.

[isittoolate]

hi All

As Poppyseed said, and it is very true, it is like I am talking about breaking a plate, but I just broke my leg, 4 breaks, but NO physical pain. I turned my foot from facing back to facing front without realizing and the stranger/girl who was there, and who helped me, re 9-1-1 and a note on my car, was nearly sick. I just like things to be neat!<sorry>   

Now as far a physical pain is concerned, as my therapist said, it does affect us otherwise, drawing on our other feelings, so for me this is more than a broken leg when I just say, "Been there, done that!"

I want to know, when in actual, fierce physical pain, where/how does this affect a person, that I won't be recognizing?

All my life I have known physical pain, until the BIG accident and now my lower legs do not recognize physical pain. I don't know what I am to be feeling in place of the missing pain.....and it's only my legs I have injured.

The last I remember was breaking my big toe, OH THE PAIN, in 1966, 3 years before the Biggy. I had no idea it was broken so didn't go for 'help' Eventually I knew something was wrong when my toe was bent out of shape, after the swelling disappeared, and I was still in pain, so I went to Emerg, but they were so busy I left. I was in the misdt of leaving my daughter's father and still did NOT know I'd broken a bone, my first.

So in the psychological frame of mind we are in, when physicasl pain strikes, what do you others feel?----perhaps in reference to the importance of leaving an N, or other emotional stresses.

Thanks
Izzy

Edit] i am sure that all physically painful experiences I had before where repressed emotionally, as therapist said we had to get right to this break, so that my other feelings didn't 'get lost in the shuffle' <my words>

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[teartracks]

Hi Iz,

I googled Emotional vs physical pain which and got what looks like some fairly interesting articles.  Problem is, my back is hurting so bad, I can't concentrate on the reading.    

This is a question I've never seen discussed on the board and I look forward to seeing what the troops say.

Hey, wanna share the geezer driving an old red pickup truck and wearing bib overalls?   Hops has her eye peeled at the farmers market!  We could ride in the back and your cast would fit just fine!

Affectionately,

tt

[isittoolate]

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww tt

So you are having a bad time with your back--now what is it doing to the rest of you?

Remember, I was beaten as a youngster and I believe all physical pain became "nothing" to me. It's hidden somewhere.

I do have the feeling that any 'painful' injury, as what I just 'experienced' goes away to hide!

I have seen my father cut the heads off chickens, then saw my mother do it, then when I was old enough, I cut the heads off chickens when Mom said so.

I stood and watched--did Dad order me to , or what?--as Dad slugged a baby calf over the head with a sledge hammer and killed it. I recall having no reaction.

He was drowning baby kittens long before we found out abut it, after which we were made to watch.

He beat a cow until she was blinded.

He made us help him corner a big pig in a horse stall, while he slit its throat, then hung it to bleed out, then we had to rub the carcass up and down the edges of a steel barrell of hot water to take the surface hairs from the carcass.

Would things like this make a little girl, a sensitive little girl, not allow them to register?

Then the cats all were ill and he lined them up on the summer kitchen shelf, called us kids, and made us watch as he picked them off, one by one with his gun.

I think I am getting violence and pain mixed, or..........what?

Izzy
 

[changing]

Hello  Izz-

Physical pain and mental/emotional pain are frightening subjects for me. I am like an animal hiding and denying pain and fear so that I can avoid being targeted as prey and devoured. NH was a master at creating situations where I would be totally incapacitated- I am quite glad that he is gone, and still shaky when he is in my vicinity. He has had no qualms about damaging me, or racheting up my physical torment as a way of controlling me. I have never had anyone to talk openly with about the constant and sometimes excruciating pain and fear. I freely chose experimental surgery to get some function and not lose my foot, but was told up front that the pain would be much worse than conventional treatment. Now it seems there is always something gone awry in my physical being, and I must be constantly vigilant, both physically and emotionally.

Sorry for the gloomy post (but it is a gloomy subject),

Changing

[teartracks]

Hi changing,

Now it seems there is always something  gone awry in my physical being, and I must be constantly vigilant, both physically and emotionally.

Do you mean that having the surgery on your foot set off the above?

tt

[changing]

Oh Izzy-

Your post made me cry, I'm still crying. I was beaten a great deal by my father, sometimes with a chain in the face, breaking teeth, slashing my mouth and face,etc. But my father was always so kind to all of our animals- they all adored him, would have done anything for him. He would cook the puppies breakfast, make sure that every other kind of creature had excellent food, gave them lots of attention and took great delight in them, sang to them, was quite affectionate and playful with them. He was like this with me sometimes as well. But we would always  gladly sacrifice our own needs if the animals needed medical treatment, etc.
I am so sorry Dear One- somehow it is so very much worse to watch an innocent animal be hurt (much less tortured or brutally killed) than getting physical punishment yourself. So horrible- you are so strong to have endured this, and yet remain such such an incredibly lovely, loving being. I should never speak of pain. I have never felt the pain that you have, and will never be as strong and good as you are. You deserve all the love and good things this world has to offer.

Love from your friend,

Changing

[Hopalong]

Izzy.
Changing.
TT.
All brutalized innocents, human and beast.

Tonglin meditation is what I think of, Izz.
That's a practice where instead of "breathe in love, breathe out peace"
you close your eyes and intentionally breathe in the suffering of the world, and breathe out love.

It feels different.

love,
Hops

[Ami]

I am so,so sorry for what you went through(Izzy and Changing).
I would like to kill both of your fathers. I would like to beat them to death.
It is beyond words to do that to your own children.
Changing-- you have the sweetest,kindest spirit. After all that pain. I simply am speechless that a human being had to suffer like that at the hands of her own parent.
May God give you love, peace joy and comfort in this life and the Life to come, My Dear Friend   
                                      Love Ami
((((((((((((((((((((Izzy, Changing))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[changing]

Dear Ami-

Thank you for caring about me and Izzy and the animals, it means a great deal. You are an unfailing supporter of others and are determined to continue  in your kind and gentle ways, despite a harsh world... In my post I only wanted to illustrate that I understood from experience about the beatings, the chain example was extreme and isolated- my teeth are very nice now. What I really wanted to convey to Izzy was my sense of horror and desolation at what the poor animals and she, a  young and helpless forced onlooker, endured, and how in contrast one's own physical hurt cannot compare to the enduring trauma of seeing what she saw and not being able to help those poor creatures, and having to live with and obey the unspeakable perpetrator of such evil. No wonder her own ability to feel has been so cruelly damaged.
I think that you are right, Ami, and people who hurt animals and children should have justice meted out to them, instead of being able to continue because they are "things" that"belong" to them. We must endeavor to create ways to provide voices not only for ourselves, but for these innnocents as well. I am glad that our deeply-thinking and feeling  Hoppy, as always, understands this too, and had a "fine art" response and healing ideas for Our Izzy. Teartracks I hope that you find some effective help with your back pain. In answer to your question, the surgery isn't causing eveything- there are a number of ridiculous physical issues that I have. Maybe we can swap ideas and solutions?
Dear Izzy- I hope that your therapy and the techniques that Hoppy speaks of help you as you brave your way through those terrible psychic wounds and scars, and I pray that our enduring respect, love and understanding for you also support you in your healing.

Great Love To All,

Changing

[lighter]

Oh Izzy... I was driving down the road thinking about my neck pain this morning....


feeling self pity and tired of my mewly thoughts.....

when I thought about you and your leg.

No more mewling for me and I'm sure that girl, who helped you when you broke your leg, is still mumbling to herself when she goes to sleep

You made me laugh when you said... you just like things neat, lol.

I don't know anyone like you; )

[isittoolate]

hmmmm
Well tt's back is physically painful and she cannot concentrate on reading.  There's a good example and tt could go further by saying how she feels like screamng because she cannot connect with the book.

And Changing, chose her pain, to be fixed, but now feel somethings is awry with her physical being. might this be what I am after? what physical pain does to other 'parts 'of us.

And Ami. I know you have had stomach pains etc....so what did it do to your ability to focus or tend to the day-to-day chores--where did your mind go?

And lighter, you have a bad neck-- did that make you want to kill someone? or what? Glad you like my sick humour!

Please tell me what physical pain does to the rest of you!!

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[isittoolate]

Thanks CB
So physical pain held you back, and you could not make the proper decisions for yourself?? Now being pain free you are making better choices, rather than having to dwell on pain!! Makes sense.

Now tell me, do you think you could have taken that pain and stored it someplace where you couldn't feel it?

xx
Izzy

[isittoolate]

Dear CB,

You just might have helped me.
When we feel pain, it hurts.

NOW I think I am meaning, if this pain was humiliating pain, we put the Incident in a place to never have to face/remember it again.

Lets say this goes on for awhile, then the abuser changes, but the same method is used to not have to face it, hide it away.

Now this person has reached the point that ALL pain, no matter the origin becomes tucked away out of habit.

Now, would it take away from other areas to keep this pain in its hiding place, so that the other things could be

Ohhhhhhhhh
inability to remember faces or names
being rotten in math,
socially inept
stuttering
develop collateral health damage like hives, allergies, phobias,

Do you get where I am going?

[teartracks]

Hi Iz,

I don't know if I can add anything of much significance other than a couple of thoughts not necessarily related.

Like CB, I endured vicious migraines going back to my earliest memories.  They were excruciating and back to back.  I agree with CB that I don't think I could have ignored or stored that pain.  I had to bear it.  I'm happy to say that menopause ended that suffering. 

My experience,  comparing emotional and physical pain.  Both for me have been excruciating.  I don't think I could say one was worse than the other in intensity.  The thing with me was that my emotional pain didn't respond to AD's.  My symptoms got worse with them.  With the physical pain, I always knew there was something somewhere that had the capacity to 'put me out' and give me relief from it.  With the emotional pain, there was no such thing.  I was fully mantled in it for a long time...years.  No relief.

Even now, with the back pain I experience, powerful pain killers don't have any affect on the pain.  I asked my GP why.  He said  the theory is that some people's brain receptors don't interface with the medication.   

You have asked one of the most intriguing questions I've ever seen on VESMB. 

tt

[teartracks]

What does physical pain do to me?

Well, this back pain which I have roughly 35% of the time, wears me out.  It makes me tired, makes me sigh, makes me want to quit, makes me irritable, makes me think, why won't my brain respond to pain killers.   Reminds me that age is  creeping up on me, like it or not.  Each aspect of the above grows and grows and grows, ever so slowly, then I must remind myself that frustration with the endlessness of it is what I'm dealing with.   Then try to do something that will make my body refocus itself.  I haven't been too successful at that! 

Migraines:  The pain is so intense, you really don't have the presence of mind to think or feel anything else.  It's paralyzing.   A peculiar thing that happened to me with migraines is that I did not want to be alone.  I usually crave being alone.  I never figured that out.