Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mother's Day - a day of dread and self loathing.
Anonymous:
--- Quote --- "that part of my brain ran down my father's leg when I was conceived which caused me to be defective in some way"?
--- End quote ---
This was actually stated after a mother's day a few years ago. The first one is implied from hearing them speak to me.
Yeah I know about the masculinity machismo bs. Fortunately for me my mother named me a gender neutral name and so through the years I learned through lots of teasing and fights, that I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I've got 'em between my legs and I'll say & do what I damn well feel like.
Sometimes I do want to beat up my dogs....but one's a terror - I mean a terrier and another one is a beagle - who is a major N! :wink:
What the crude expression deleted? Now my curiosity is killing me. :shock:
mrt
Wildflower:
--- Quote from: Portia ---
--- Quote ---Will she cry because I'm not there?
--- End quote ---
Only if she’s got an audience. Sorry!
--- End quote ---
:shock: Memories....all alone in the moooooonlight....
I don't want to take away from your thread, Mr T (glad to see you back, too :D :D And yes, you sound like such a normal ACON...hmmm...normal ACON...hmmm), but can I just dump...next to you?
Seriously. Once, when I was in highschool I confronted my dad because he was having a tantrum. I can't remember exactly what I said, but it was something along these lines "Some people don't want to hear your tantrums. Can you go somewhere else if you're upset?" (Okay, um, I was a teenager. Just keep that in mind :roll: :D). Get this. He actually came out and said (using a tone to indicate my moron-hood), "I only scream and yell when someone else is here. When I'm alone, I'm fine."
:shock: :shock: :shock: Yeah. You go Dad. Be a real j*ck*ss around your loved ones and then be an angel when you're alone. What???
{EDIT: Oh...and what was he upset about? He'd either dropped some pan in the kitchen (he does all the cooking and it's often some elaborate French dish) or his Cuisinart wasn't working or there wasn't enough of the right kind of butter. No, we weren't having a fight...just Dad making lots of noise and screaming and looking annoyed at us while my stepmom and I tried to read.}
Anyway...back to getting all these Mother's Day thoughts out. I think it's great what you're doing, Mr T. Gotta say these things sometimes in order to really understand them - to be able to step back and look at the crazy, nutty things your parents have told you and say back to them, Gosh. Those are some crazy, nutty things they said to me.
(((hugs)))
Wildflower
Anonymous:
mrt,
Your feelings are not uncommon at all. For people with N mothers, this "holiday" is nothing but torture. In your post, I see that you are in a state of incredible anxiety re: what may happen in various scenarios. For this reason, I implore you to get an appointment with a therapist ASAP -- before Mothers' Day if possible -- so he or she can help you through this critical period. It really helps. P.S. don't see someone who says you don't have a problem. You do have a problem, it's called anxiety.
bunny :wink:
Anonymous:
Bunny,
So that's what an anxiety attack feels like??
I had been on lexapro an antidepressant for a year now (for depression) I was feeling better and quit taking them. I guess I stopped too soon ; ) Took one this morning - feeling better already.
Anybody else doing the antidepressant bit? How do you get off of these things?
mrt
Anonymous:
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---Anybody else doing the antidepressant bit? How do you get off of these things?
--- End quote ---
Don't do what I once did. I quit taking an antidepressant cold turkey and had terrible withdrawal symptoms. I learned my lesson. It has to be done under a doctor's supervision.
bunny
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