Author Topic: Jodi Kay's Story  (Read 3842 times)

Jodi Kay

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Jodi Kay's Story
« on: September 15, 2007, 09:42:25 PM »
Hello Everyone,

I suppose I really don't need to introduce myself, someone on your board has done quite a job of that....I need to express why I have chosen to post here. I in no way am asking for any of you to be a judge or a jury. I am fully aware that it is quite possible for people to perceive my decision to share here as an attempt to discredit, lambast or rub salt into wounds of someone here...I am incapable of proving otherwise. I only ask that if you do read this, try to read this through the eyes of someone who is seeking understanding and healing just as many of you are as well....

After going through a few years of abuse with this person. I am just now starting to find my voice..I have been one of those people who have tried to work through things by not lashing out, by trying to love a person beyond their actions, and as hard as it is to admit.... sticking my head in the sand and hoping that it would all just go away. I have found that these things with my abuser have not worked. I have never been given the option to walk away, I have been forced to maintain a relationship with them, though I believe it is unhealthy for me. I have resorted to becoming totally silent, cutting all ties and not responding in any form.This has been a way for me to make another effort in hopes that things would finally end. It HASN'T! I have tried every avenue and am finally out of plans.

I have tried to distance myself by setting boundaries in my heart...I have tried to talk things through,in an effort to resolve anything that I can to finally find closure..I have tried to just have a casual relationship with them.  but I found that  even during these times as long as I did as they asked....Things would be smooth, but the moment that I was unable to respond as they demanded or perform the way they intended for me too...(remaining in contact with them every day and informing them of all that I was doing) I would be put through another cycle of accusation, ridiculing, public humiliation, demeaning vicious attacks on every area of my life that could be assaulted.

This included my family and anyone that they felt were friends of mine or getting to close to me.  It would only stop if I would acknowledge and admit the things that they expected me too and come back to "restore our relationship"! I continued to do this time and time again, until I could no longer handle it mentally, physically and emotionally..This was the point in which, I made the decision to do as I have already stated....I RAN and stopped responding in any form.....You may wonder how on earth then, are you being forced to maintain a relationship? Well, until I "restore" and continue the relationship they believe we should have... Thus far it has always resulted in the abuse..Including what has already been mentioned. What I haven't mentioned is the continual contact that they try to make with me, sending emails leaving offlines on my messengers, contacting people they know or think I may be in communication with..

What has been difficult to understand is during the time that I have not spoken to them or responded in any form, they have continued to share "their story" on places just like this, yet at the same time and sometimes on the very same days they send me emails apologizing, speaking words that are directly contrary to what they share on here as well as what they share with others...This is soooooooo confusing....If they truly see me as this horrible person than why continue to contact me, why continue to tell me they miss me, they love me, they are thinking about me, they wish things could be resolved etc. I have included a few of these emails or offlines only from this YEAR, meaning 07 so that you can better understand what I mean...Why can't they just heal and leave me alone....I do want them to heal....but I DO NOT want any sort of relationship with them....

I must tell you that I am in no way innocent in this situation. I made promises in the end I was unable to keep. I reacted in ways that I will always regret because it has caused this person alot of pain and hurt. I wasn't prepared for what this "relationship" would entail....I made mistakes and said things that I wish I could take back...I have asked this person to forgive me numerous times, I have apologized to her in front of others, I have acknowledged my failures and my wrong doings....I can't change what happened, but I can do everything that I am capable of to ensure that history doesn't repeat itself with me....Regardless if I see things the way that this person does or not, or even if I see things being totally different, it doesn't change the fact that this person See's it this way, experiences the pain and hurt that comes with their "truth"....In the end, their feelings are important, valid and I am accountable for them carrying what wounds they do and the effects that has resulted because of my actions, lack thereof, and words spoken.

Every person on this earth is valuable, even those that maybe we have a hard time seeing that way. If we are able to look beyond our own hurts, mindsets and preceptions we will find that there is purpose, worth and valuable treasures hidden within every human being. I know it is sometimes, difficult to see it, because so often it is buried deep beneath exteriors of unlovely actions, words and walls build to protect them..In the end, it is there if we look deep enough. Although far to often it never surfaces for the world to experience, benefit and share in. This is something that I have always believed, and regret to say that I haven't always walked out...


For so long, I have felt like a small insect caught in the middle of an enormous spider web, being injected periodically with some sort of paralyzing venom that would affect me in such a way that I was incapable of moving, speaking or crying out for help, for fear of making the SPIDER even more angry, which would always result in more of the above cycle...Each time the punishments would escalate...I have been through this for what seems an eternity, though I know its only been 4 years...I know that I have to find some way to STOP the cycle with this person, but I admit I just don't know how....I feel I have tried everything that I can and yet it continues....It is difficult when the person leads things in a way, that truly renders you voiceless and defenseless....

I have never wanted to react in the ways that they have in an effort to not bring any humiliation, embarrassment or tell things that would only stand to hurt or wound them..I just have tried to hold out hope that sooner or later they would stop, it would stop and finally CLOSURE would come....I have really had no defense, nor have I had a voice...By, the time they are finished people have heard so much of "Their Truth" that anything that I could say would just be shut down anyway with the attitude of "How Dare You, After all YOU have done" I just did what I knew to do, let it run its course until I couldn't handle it anymore than respond to one of their messages and "work things out" by doing this, it always STOPPED....until I didn't comply with the Type of Relationship they wanted us to have.....

No more though....I made that decision and am not going to falter on it....I do have some sense of safety because she no longer knows where I live, because we moved out of the state we were residing in, she knows the state we moved to but does not know the town, nor my phone number....I cannot be manipulated and controlled to have a relationship with someone I don't feel comfortable with....That's just not fair, Is IT? My coming here was my first real step forward into Freedom from this....I don't have to hide, run, feel trapped, defenseless, voiceless or paralyzed any longer...I do NOT have to admit to things that I have not done, I do not have to agree with things that I disagree with nor do I have to allow these things to be used as venom to silence me...I am who I am and everyday I have determined to grow stronger and not allow anyone or anything to hinder me from becoming the best person I can be! 


Jodi Kay

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2007, 09:44:21 PM »
I at one time during one of these cycles, went under a new screen name and went into one of the  public chat rooms that she had opened against me, in an effort to reach out to her so she would stop this cycle that has been apart of more than just my life but others before me as well...I used the name scrubs...After this time, she would always leave me messages on this name and talk to scrubs (knowing it was me as I had told her) later on I discovered that she used that to say that I was MPD and this was one of my personalities...I am not removing her name as it is a screen name and not her real name, also on this board she has displayed her full name..




Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:39 AM EDT)>> hi again Scrub
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:39 AM EDT)>> Glad I can sometimes come talk to you here
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:40 AM EDT)>> Chrissy could tell you not to even speak to me anymore, and she'd have every right to at this point, but I'm thankful she didn't
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:40 AM EDT)>> I still have some tapes of her, ya know...I just listen to the lessons on them and the ones where we were just being silly, being friends
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:40 AM EDT)>> I miss those times
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:41 AM EDT)>> even in spite of everything I thought I found out about her, I find that after all this time, I still have a love in my heart for that woman
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:41 AM EDT)>> It's nothing impure, but I'm sure you know that
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:41 AM EDT)>> It never was, although I guess she used to think so
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:41 AM EDT)>> I just felt she was a big sister to me
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:42 AM EDT)>> and someone who was wiser than I was, even if she wasn't chronologically older
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:42 AM EDT)>> I do still talk to God sometimes about wanting her to one day come back and check on me and care again
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:42 AM EDT)>> but I think I've come to realize that that may never likely happen
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:42 AM EDT)>> She's moved on without me
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:42 AM EDT)>> probably the very one thing I used to fear the most
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:43 AM EDT)>> losing "my" Chrissy
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:43 AM EDT)>> The thing is, I guess she was lost to me from day one
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:43 AM EDT)>> She didn't want someone like me in her life
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:43 AM EDT)>> She wanted someone strong
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:43 AM EDT)>> and someone who was not so needy
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:44 AM EDT)>> and as much as she found that she couldn't be the best friend/mother figure/sister figure that I needed
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:44 AM EDT)>> I think I found that I couldn't be the strong, steady person she needed
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:45 AM EDT)>> I never will measure up in her eyes, because I'm just me...it's true that I learned to settle for less...what choice do I have, other than divorce my husband and leave my children
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:45 AM EDT)>> ya know, Scrubs...even the car that Chrissy and Norm blessed me with...eventually, it burned out, and I ended up going back to being dependent on my husband
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:45 AM EDT)>> so, I'm happy for Chrissy that she found her prince charming
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:46 AM EDT)>> who has a lot of money and finesse and treats her so good
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:46 AM EDT)>> but it's just not my reality
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:46 AM EDT)>> and I've had to come to grips with that
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:46 AM EDT)>> Hey, on a more positive note though...I'm getting mostly A's and B's in school
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:46 AM EDT)>> so I'm really leaning toward that counseling career I thought about
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:47 AM EDT)>> oh, and, remember when I told you that Chrissy and Norm asked me why I wasn't working with little children at church...well, again, those words turned out to be prophetic over me
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:47 AM EDT)>> I'm a children's church teacher now...more like assisting the teacher, but helping is kewl too
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:48 AM EDT)>> Anyway, I guess I've talked enough.  Don't know if you saw Chrissy's photo on Paltalk.  She is still such a beautiful looking person...again, not meant in any weird way...God just really blessed her physically with an attractive "tent" in this life
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:49 AM EDT)>> well, if you run into her, please let her know I love her and miss her and think about her sometimes at night when I can't sleep...remember how she and I used to do impersonations and just laugh and be silly...that was such fun
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:49 AM EDT)>> I'll always have a space in my heart for CJ
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:50 AM EDT)>> always, Scrubs
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:50 AM EDT)>> guess I'll go for now
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:50 AM EDT)>> you have a nice night and, again, thanks so much for being here, listening
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:50 AM EDT)>> you've been a faithful friend for sure
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:50 AM EDT)>> love ya
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:50 AM EDT)>> bye
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:53 AM EDT)>> I'll be back to share some more when I can...very busy these days, running the concessions trailer and doing shows, etc
Vessel_Of_Hope: <<(05/18/07 2:53 AM EDT)>> later



These were 2 emails that I received regarding her time at my house...after reading this, maybe it will be easier to understand the confusion that I have felt....This was sent to me this year and at the same time she is on this board with a whole other story about it......I will not post all the ones that I have received just this year...No reason too...I have not spoken to her at all this year, yet the contact keeps coming..I even blocked her email and she sent it on under another name...

Dear Chrissy,
I know this has been a long time in coming, but I feel I owe you a very sincere apology. I now can say that I fully understand how you must have felt while I was at your house, not on my meds, acting ignorant.
I have someone from out of town visiting me at the moment and it's been very uncomfortable for my entire family. This person is not doing anything on purpose to upset us...they just have no clue about the very basic things in life and family living. I have to admit that I'm finding very hard to just accept the person and not want to instruct them, because they look foolish and dumb to other people and they really are intelligent.
Every time this person asks a question that has a very obvious and logical answer or they just sort of say "huh???" in a really senseless fashion, I hear in my mind, "THIS must be how Chrissy felt while I was there." In my case it really was mostly my lack of thyroid medicine, but on the other hand, I did grow up being raised very differently than you were. Still, I KNOW my being there at your house was very uncomfortable for you and your family...Norm, the children, etc...and I am soooooo very sorry. I mean it.
I'm sure you are very busy so I won't belabor the point. You DID teach me things that have helped me in life. I will never go back on that. There were problems between us for various reasons and I'm still sad about not talking with you, but I'm trusting everything to God and praying the best for you and your family.
SIncerely,
the one you formerly and successfully mentored,
Laura




I wanted to be specific about what I was sharing with you in the last email, Chrissy.
Remember how you felt like I was staring at you? Well, I've now been on the receiving end of that. This person stares at me as if they don't know how to react without watching my behavior first. It's very nervewracking and makes me not want to be with the person.
When I didn't seem to understand how to do simple things...now I can say BEEN THERE DONE THAT...this person has no clue about basic common sense things. It makes ya wanna scream!
Needing to be hugged constantly. This person seems to think that if I'm not huggin on em or talking to them constantly, I don't like them. Huge rejection spirit.
Wanting to always be with me in person. I, like you, prefer a phone relationship only with this person. I am just terribly uncomfortable around them. When I'm with them, I just keep seeing all the things about them that look unkempt or make them appear "simple"
You told me that you corrected me cause I thought people were approving me, but behind my back they were making fun of me...same with this person...I KNOW people are thinking "what is WRONG with them?" so I try to correct this person to avoid them being hurt by others.
and FASHION? GOOD GOD! This person has no clue and wears clothes of an 80 year old when they are only mid-age. You taught me WELL about dressing and I still wear only brown lipstick and no black shoes with brown pants. I don't need a cookie for that, but I sure do feel GOOD about myself!
This person has no clue about eating meals, just like I didn't before I stayed with you.
Chrissy, it's just like reliving history, except I'm CHRISSY and this person is ME. I just have really been feeling bad about it all and I wanted to give you some validation and appreciation as well as letting you know that I DO understand and am sorry for how it made YOU feel.
May you be blessed in all you do and may God reward the weeks you endured me to impart a better way of life to me. I will always love you, Girl but I am sad things ended up the way they did.
Laura



Ami

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2007, 08:49:47 AM »
My overall feeling is that Laura is worth MUCH,MUCH,MUCH more than trying to "resolve" a relationship with a person who does not seem to value her enough. That is my  general feeling-underneath all the details.
  I feel very sad for Laura b/c it shows me that she doesn't trust herself(or life or God ) enough to bring her some one who will love and cherish her as a friend.
 God brought me Maria,out  of the "blue". The Bible promises us many things. It says that God will give us new families--mothers, sisters ,brothers  etc.
 I don't see Jodi as at all healthy for you, Laura. I am sure that Jodi is a very hurting person ,also.
 I am sure that you and she once had a good relationship.
 Since it  does not appear that she wants to have one ,now,then you are only setting yourself up for poor treatment if you try to pursue one.
  Laura---- pray for God to send you a new"family". I feel so sure that He will send you people who will want to be with you just as much as you want to be with them.
  Another thing that really helps me is to know that we all are ,ultimately, alone with Him. That takes the "sting" out of relationships. The 'sting" is there ,even in the best of relationships b/c we hurt and disappoint  each other as humans..
 This is the particular lesson that I am learning,right now.
  If I had one wish for you it would be to value yourself so much that you decide who DESERVES to be in your life                          Love   Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Certain Hope

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2007, 09:29:15 AM »
I only ask that if you do read this, try to read this through the eyes of someone who is seeking understanding and healing just as many of you are as well....

Hi,

I don't want to be accused of choosing sides or furthering any sort of dispute, because I'm not.
This is far too complicated and convoluted a situation to dissect here, imo.
Yet I must say that I strongly felt your heart throughout your post here, Jodi Kay, and having struggled through situations similar to what you've described, I know how very difficult it is to long for resolution and find none. Time for that peace which surpasses all understanding to guard your heart and mind. Since this is your thread, I speak to you alone and say that I know.... Only Jesus can heal this, settle it, and lay it to rest. I pray for the very best for you.

With love,
Carolyn

gratitude28

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2007, 12:42:56 PM »
This board is not the place to "prove" who is guilty of what. This is not a game. If you are here, it should be to express how you feel and how you can change your life to make it better.
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams

Jodi Kay

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2007, 03:15:27 PM »
CB,

Thank you for your kind, compassionate and heartfelt words....First please know that I have NEVER posted on this board before, {We have built relationships here that are, in some ways, stronger than any we have had in our lives.  We are fiercely protective of each other, and when you posted the first time, you faced that.} I have never faced that, though I did prepare myself for the possibility of that very thing happening...Truth is I understand why that would be a response to someone who may come here to attack one of you....That is in no way my intention....I will not go into details regarding what I have experienced, that will not produce anything that is beneficial to those involved...That is NOT my heart, things would only wound, hurt, embarrass, humiliate or even discredit someone that I am certain has given valuable advice to many on here, as well as encouraged many to continue to greet each and everyday as an opportunity to make choices and decisions that will affect their lives in positive ways, as well as make a difference in the lives of others....One thing that I am certain of is that she has always been a great encourager to many as well as myself many times...I agree with you 100% that this needs to end....Thus the reason I finally got up enough strength to actual speak! I needed to do this for me, as selfish as that may sound....I am not seeking reconciliation in any shape or form....I think (again my thought or opinion), this has been the main problem....I have wanted this to end for soooooo long, yet it is has always been an option that was never offered.....

I have had counsel in regards to this, in fact I have even had counsel given from a Dr. very close to this board....I have heeded the counsel of many, the counsel that I received from the Dr. is the one that I haven't proceeded with....It is a last resort option in my heart....I appreciate your advice and want to personally Thank You again for being so understanding and compassionate!
 

mudpuppy

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #6 on: September 16, 2007, 09:24:00 PM »
Quote
For so long, I have felt like a small insect caught in the middle of an enormous spider web, being injected periodically with some sort of paralyzing venom that would affect me in such a way that I was incapable of moving, speaking or crying out for help, for fear of making the SPIDER even more angry, which would always result in more of the above cycle...Each time the punishments would escalate...

As a Christian I find this type of public language regarding a fellow Christian pretty unfortunate.
I find the public airing of privatel messages just as unfortunate.
A public spat like this with people being called spiders and whatnot and a "God bless you" tacked on the end is not a witness to the world.

mud

lighter

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #7 on: September 16, 2007, 10:13:56 PM »
Quote
For so long, I have felt like a small insect caught in the middle of an enormous spider web, being injected periodically with some sort of paralyzing venom that would affect me in such a way that I was incapable of moving, speaking or crying out for help, for fear of making the SPIDER even more angry, which would always result in more of the above cycle...Each time the punishments would escalate...

As a Christian I find this type of public language regarding a fellow Christian pretty unfortunate.
I find the public airing of privatel messages just as unfortunate.
A public spat like this with people being called spiders and whatnot and a "God bless you" tacked on the end is not a witness to the world.

mud



Yup yup yup

Hopalong

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #8 on: September 16, 2007, 10:35:32 PM »
Yup.

Jodi, I am glad you are pursing a sense of voice and learning about boundaries in your life.

What I don't understand is why you would do it here?
Apparently you do have other online forums and ministry places where you have friends and supporters?

I just wonder if it might not be possible to make an agreement with Laura?
If Laura could leave you alone online, everywhere, and leave your associates alone, and then perhaps Laura could still have this board to turn to? If she dealt with her obsession and released it once and for all, would that free you both? (If you're reading, RM, maybe you could make it a spiritual challenge for yourself, to keep the peace by speaking no more of it? I don't know if that's fair, but dang...what IS fair in this situation? I truly am not sure.)

I can't help thinking, Jodi, that you may be attached to the drama in some way, yourself. I don't mean that unkindly...just that there's so much ... well, I am not blaming you. It does no good for anyone to stand and scream, Victim! Perpetrator! Victim! Perpetrator!

It's never black and white outside of a court of law, and even then ethics can get muddy.

I may not understand the whole situation and I'm sure I don't. I can be credulous and sentimental.

But it just feels to me as though you've gone a bit farther than "blowing RM's cover." You've shamed her and now it seems as though you're taking her space here. I truly don't mean to sound hostile to you. I don't feel that way.
Of course there is no "space" and there is room here for hundreds. I am just honestly saying how it feels. Maybe in time as I read your posts the memory of all of Laura's haunting pain (not talking about whether she SHOULD feel or have felt it...she just did) will fade.

It just seems to me that her life, her actual life, is gruelingly hard and I have felt that having this place to turn to was important in a way that those of us who are materially safe might not understand. So for that reason too, it makes me sad.

Hope that made sense. I'll try to keep my nose out of this triangle now. But I just feel as though someone got tossed off the caboose.

Hopalong
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Ami

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2007, 10:48:44 PM »

But it just feels to me as though you've gone a bit farther than "blowing RM's cover." You've shamed her and now it seems as though you're taking her space here




That is exactly how I feel( above). I could not put my finger on it.However,if my M ever came here and  humiliated me the way that Jodi did to Laura----I would NEVER recover.On top of that people give "aid and comfort " to Jodi. I know that Jodi is a hurting person,but  this is Laura's "home" .She invested in it. She nurtured it. I find it very offensive for Laura to be" on the way out" and Jodi  is  the "new "kid on the block. How much can a person  take?
  I really think that something like that would  wound me very,very deeply.                  Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

lighter

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #10 on: September 17, 2007, 06:16:25 AM »
Ummmm......

NOT posting to SU.....

at all.....

from the start....

was the only way to protect RM, on this board.


Most everyone here avoided posting with her.... until RM invited everyone to do so.

There was nothing to be gained,besides rootingg RM from her safe haven, and now it's come to pass.

::shaking head::

Something to be said for resisting tempation.


Hopalong

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #11 on: September 17, 2007, 07:44:52 AM »
I totally understand why you responded lovingly and with concern for Jodi's pain, CB...
that's who you are.

We all come at things from unique angles at different moments and contribute a differently-shaped sliver of the pie.

I personally think you bake an awesome pie, Miz CB.
Well, I'm not sure. Do Texans have pie?  :)

much love,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Overcomer

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #12 on: September 17, 2007, 07:58:38 AM »
Hey CB:  My question is How did you know the doc moved it over?  I miss a lot when I post on my phone so I am curious how you knew.
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Overcomer

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #13 on: September 17, 2007, 08:08:59 AM »
Never mind-I just say it.  Now I realize that the doc wanted us to discuss this and since he is a doc I guess he thought it would be healthy for us To dialogue-however uncomfortable it has been for a lot of us.
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Ami

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Re: Jodi Kay's Story
« Reply #14 on: September 17, 2007, 08:20:10 AM »
My intuition tells me that our"heart" should be with the poster who we know and who is part of out 'family,here. It did remind me of my F who expressed 'concern" over my H's feelings  WHEN I(his daughter) and my Son(his grandson) were being abused.  My F had been so brainwashed by my M that he did not have" normal "sentiments at that time.Shouldn't he have had sympathy with his own D and grandson? Only an N mother could twist someone so they sided with the "abuser "
  My heart tell me that Laura made an error in judgment by inviting this "debate"  on the board..It was a set up for failure in a big way. However,it seemed' wrong"  to me,instinctively to "support" her "abuser".
  Remember when Margo's abuser tried to elicit sympathy. No one gave him an ounce of comfort. He was a "person",too. Maybe. it is more defined in our minds when it is a man. However,I feel that Jodi was EXACTLY the same as Margo's husband  EXCEPT Jodi was invited by Laura.
   Inviting Jodi was simply an innocent and naive 'mistake" on Laura's part b/c she wants connection so badly. It reminded of a little kid who invited the wrong friend over to her house and then the friend turned on her and took all her friends at the same time.
  I would feel very badly if my M came on and people showed her sympathy after all the descriptions that I have given of her. Sure, she is a person,but let her go "be a person" someplace else .
  I would like Laura to stay b/c I think that she will have an emotional "fall" if she feels compelled to leave  b/c of humiliation. I would want someone to say that to me if I were Laura , so i am saying it.
 I hope that you stay Laura. We all have humiliated ourselves and been humiliated.
 It is a "join the club" kind of thing.It will be forgotten in a week and something new will happen.
 Laura--just stick it out.Ignore Jodi( and her posts and threads) and I bet that in a week,it will all be forgotten                                                 Love  Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung