don't know... sad

[nobody]

God, i hurt. was looking for an outlet. we're still fighting... was going to try to talk, but, he started drinking early today.  i just don't know how to communicate with him when i'm not sure if he'll remember anything i say. besides, i wanted to be honest, and i have to be extra careful when he's been drinking.  especially since it's been 4 days in a row, now.  mostly, i'm just looking for an outlet, sorry for being so negative,  i just really want to cry.

[Anonymous]

Here's an idea...
Have you ever found an AL-ANON group?
If you can get away, you can go even if your H doesn't. If you find a good group, the meetings can be very supportive and helpful.

Don't appologize for being negative.  You are just being honest.  Honesty takes a lot of courage... Especially when it hurts so much.

I wish I could dry your tears.  
I agree with your instinct that maybe talking while he is drunk will not be of much avail.
Is there someone else you could talk to so that maybe it wouldn't matter to your feelings as much if he is mad or drunk?  so that you don't need him to hear you as long as you are heard by someone?

Is there any possibility you could have a temporary separation?  or even just get away for a weekend or a week?  It sounds like while you are in his presence it will be very hard to find strength and clarity.  

Keep reaching out for support outside of him.

[Anonymous]

Hi Nobody,

It's pretty lousy feeling alone when there is another person in the room.  I agree that al-anon could help.  When my H was drunk and started his irrational rages I would just grab the car keys and go.  No real communication can take place.  Some drama maybe.  

Take the time while you are out to go get a cup of coffee at your local bookstore and grab a book that speaks to you.  Take five.  If he breaks all the furniture, at least you will be in one piece.

Peace.  Guest