My Dear Janet-
You have always been wonderful to me, and so are the perfect person to initiate this discussion.There must be some sort of reality check here. The vile PM that was sent to another person here certainly warranted a response on my part, and I did what I could in response and defense of the injured party. The recipient of the hate mail showed grace and evolvement, and chose to respond with great tact and kindness. If the situation arises again, I will respond in support in turn.
There was also a great deal of tsouris regarding expectations of others on the board. As I can best understand it, in one instance a person interacted with persons who had been identified as having caused them hurt in the past and had somehow found this board. This person indicated that others here might interact with these people from the past as well (I would not). I cannot fault anyone here in doing so, and can only urge honesty in telling others not to violate one's safe space if that is the case, and requesting assistance in their removal/containment if that help is needed as well. Sometimes we cannot take care of those who mean to hurt us, and we must keep them at bay, getting help if needed. (i.e. NH Bagworm in my case)
In addition, a poll was taken and individual thoughts were requested. As the poll numbers came in a great deal of disappointment was expressed by the initiator of the poll regarding the responses , and I later read charges about hurt and pain inflicted upon the poll-taker in unconscionable posts, but I cannot recall any instances of heinous posts there- the thread is down so I cannot reread it in order to find any that I may have missed. Disagreement is not invalidation or abuse.It seemed that no amount of reiterating support for the person, rather than the idea promulgated, was sufficient, and instead of accepting the results, differing responses were attacked and invalidated as character flaws, as not caring about the hurting people, as some sort of kitchen -sink pseudo psychological response, etc. I do care about the pain of others, and yet my vote was questioned and I was attacked for it. If it is a vote, then my vote should be respected as well as the vote of the poll-taker. Let us have no more of this nonsense. We (I) need freedom of expression here. I am sorry if another may feel extreme pain due to their perception of my disagreement as a personal disappointment- perhaps an unbiased outside source might help in sorting this out for them. I did all that I could, other than capitulate.
I am not making judgements regarding individual perceptions, perceived pain or the need for help, as these are all subjective to the individual. We can only do so much here- if NH Bagworm comes to this board, I will not feel safe- no Moderator can change that- NH must be blocked completely from access (hard to do I think). I would ask that his posts be removed , etc. If not , and I remain and invite others to interact with him, about me, I will surely be damaged!!!I cannot, however, blame the board if I do not give the required information, only to blame later- that would be dishonest.
Similarly, if I take a poll, and the tally disagrees with me, and I continue to insist my aims are correct repeatedly, getting into discussions where I endeavor to prove my point and invalidate the opposition rather than letting poll results freely speak for themselves, I can expect that American, Canadian, Australian and British voters, who are used to an unhampered polling place, may react rather firmly by requesting that their votes be respected and not questioned or characterized with ad hominem attacks such as all who do not agree with me do not care about damaging people, and suchlike. A poll is quite different from a thread.I would understand that they would find this insulting and coercive.
I did not respond before specifically to this incident, but only at your behest. I hope that all can work together in harmony, albeit imperfectly- different notes and rhythms, to the same end. I want to thank everyone on the board for their kindness to me and assure everyone that I want the best for them as well.
Love,
Changing
