Why do some survive well and others of us crash & burn?

[Anastasia]

   Has anyone on this board ever wonder why some of us that come from homes with, at least, one narcissistic parent do so well and thrive...and others of us become either addicts (sex, drugs, alcohol, spending and so forth) or kill themselves?
What enables one to thrive while another doesn't?  One is more resilient than the other is all I can come up with.
Anyone else have a more "clinical" explanation for it???????

[changing]

Anastasia-

Truly a great idea (I don't know the answer myself)- this would seem to be a way to find models of N resisting behavior!

Thank you for the post,

Changing

[Ami]

Changing
  You are an example of someone who thrived and survived after overcoming very hard "odds". To me, you could answer the question                       Love  Ami

[gratitude28]

Soooo.... Anastasia.... You want us to give the correct answer to nature or nurture... right here????? LOL.
I don't know, after having my own children, I definitely believe that each person is born with SOMETHING that is his or hers naturally. My daughter has always been able to ask for what she needs. She has been strong since she was a baby. I don't know where it came from, except to believe tht she was born that way. I have taught her about self-esteem as she grows,, but she had a large portion of that already. I just could never have created the personality that my daughter has. She is so different from me (and wonderful, I need to add).
I think some people are born strong. I don't know how or why. But I also think that ALL people can find their way.
Love, Beth

[Poppy Seed]

This is a question that I have asked myself.  I think I ask it out of a little jealousy sometimes.  Why didn't they suffer as much as I? (not saying that is your feeling at  all) Other times I ask it to understand and learn from the strength of others who seem to have avoided pitfalls.   

I think that I have been both of the people you describe.  I survived!  I did the best I could.  And sometimes I thrived inspite of it all.  I also performed some spectacular nose dives for all the world to see!  It is all in choices, I think.  Each of us have our own set of strengths.  We all have two voices in us pulling us from this belief to that belief.  I think it is the voice we listen to and act on that makes all the difference.  When I am listening to my true self and acting in correct and healthy ways, I  am surviving.  When I am listening to the other stuff....my victim reruns....then I usually tank.  I guess what I am saying is that learning to survive well is a choice and as hard as it is, I am trying to choose it.

Poppy

[isittoolate]

I was googling something regarding sensitivity/super-sensitivity and found a page that would 'agree' with Beth.

There is a "Insert Word Here" missing that makes a child overly sensitive.

So to put it into perspective, I have 4 siblings who were not sensitive and I was extremely so.

Even before I googled that I always wondered what I 'might be missing' to make me react differently from my siblings.

Izzy

[SilverLining]

  Has anyone on this board ever wonder why some of us that come from homes with, at least, one narcissistic parent do so well and thrive...and others of us become either addicts (sex, drugs, alcohol, spending and so forth) or kill themselves?
What enables one to thrive while another doesn't?  One is more resilient than the other is all I can come up with.
Anyone else have a more "clinical" explanation for it???????

Could part of it be outside influences?  Some people have connections to other family members, or non related mentors, teachers, or whatever, who may help them overcome an N-ish FOO environment.   Also it seems to me the strength/influence of the non N parent is a big factor.  Some non N parents see the problem and help the children cope.  Other parents are too weak or oblivious to make any difference.   

 

[Bella_French]

I just keep doing one face plant after the other it seems sometimes:)  I appreciate the little accomplishments though. Each one seems like a miracle sometimes.