Feeling invisible, even in a house full of people

[womanonamission]

I"m not sure what's been going on with me lately, but I have been certainly feeling like I'm just kinda like a fixture in my own house and basically in my own life.  I'm not even sure if that makes any sense, but I kinda sit in the background and watch everything going on around me, and I really don't feel like I"m a part of it.  I mean I realize it's up to me, to at least try to step in and get involved, but yet I"m too afraid to, from the fear of rejection.  So I end up just kinda blending in to the background, and yet letting myself get walked on all the while.  I have always had a very subservient role in my family and quite honestly, in my relationships now, but I know it's coming to a point where I need to get off my butt, and actually find some results for myself.  Figure out how to get past the codependent parts of my personality in order to become the person who God has truly intended me to be.  I don't have to blend into the background, I don't have to be invisible....I have a voice, I need to find the courage to step up to the plate for me for a change and actually face, much less share, what I"ve been through and how I feel about it.

[Ami]

Dear Friend,
  I can relate. I ,often, feel paralyzed . I can just sit and look at something that needs to be fixed and  say,"That needs to be fixed" and  walk away until the next time I see it.
 I can feel that way about most things in life, especially my self.
 Shunned has really helped me as she tries to reclaim her lost self. The inner child books seem to resonate with me b/c it is me healing myself  rather than another person  giving me their  "wisdom"
  I am so tired of theories  and  "talk". I want to "feel"
  .I am writing about co dependency now.
  The bad part is that we are all we have. The good part is no one else can really hurt us unless we let them.
   It is hard to recover from years of wrong thinking.  I am with you on this one   Love  Ami