"If you marry him, you'll lose all your money.""He's a sociopath.""I am terrified of him. Do you think I'd invite you into this marriage if I wasn't?" (She'd invited me to my father's and her house).
"And do you think I'd invite you over here knowing that
before, you didn't want to leave and your father didn't want you to leave and I needed you out?" (referring to when my first boyfriend died; she had just begun to know my father).
"Why did you take your boyfriend with you to see your father if you
KNEW your father didn't like him?" (HUH? My boyfriend is the man I love. My father never said a word to me about this. I actually thought we had some good times.)
"He's told you a lot of lies." ?
"As long as he was taking medications I couldn't do anything. But once he started to act out, then..." (He told my father she was rude and he was angry when he said it. He said he would protect me as his wife).
"I won't have a relationship with someone who says those things about me." (What things? I did talk to my brother... about more than just the rudeness...)
"I want him to know that we are THROUGH with him." (I hadn't made that decision whatSOever)
"If you're thinking of going back to him, that is DISTURBING."
"We don't want to have to worry about you."
"If you believe he won't hit you, well..." (he has not ever, ever hit me).
"He'll take you away and once he gets you away from all of your resources, he'll hit you."Meanwhile, my best friend initially convinced me not to go home (the first night--I don't think that my step-mom had anything to do with that) and then apparently
withheld all the letters my hubbie wrote to me when we broke up (prior to marriage)--which I wonder if my step-mom did have something to do with. Because by that point she was in contact with my best friend. She then said my step-mom called her recently asking questions and was my e mail working (my friend doesn't e mail me, my family does). Certain Hope, thank you so much for your help on that.
My brother said to me (before we broke up), "Remember when [someone in my family] married so-and-so, he cleared her bank account." Etc etc (using similar words, unique words that my step-mom uses--and funny that this was her later statement about hubbie that he would take my car, my money). Step-mom knows I adore my brother and will follow his advice. She has roped him in once before. It is sooo transparent that I am amazed that she thinks I don't recognize it. I have no proof, of course, but I can't tell you how ODD it feels to feel that she talked to my brother and probably scared the daylights out of him about hubbie. She did this too with one of her kids and talked openly about it. It is SO weird. I thought she really truly cared. And maybe she does. But it is all tooo weird.
Hubbie claims (I know this sounds crazy) that my step-mom was driving by grinning at him when we were broken up and that some guy in a car followed him. I give him a weird look when he says this stuff ?????????? He says, "I know you don't believe that. But she is evil."

Here's my theory: that step-mom thinks that hubbie wants money and is marrying me for that (she more or less asserted that) and that she's just afraid I'd ask them for help if that happened and she'd lose out on everything. ??? Its the only thing I can think of.
My hubbie said to me, "If I was after money, you're not the person I'd marry. I'd be married to my ex-wife. I'd be loaded."
My father says that I "owe" my step-mother for all she has done for me. What about my siblings? All they have done for me? What about all the decisions I MADE??? Yuck. I hate that, hate it, hate it. When I do things for people, I do NOT expect something from them. With my step-mom, its always SOMEthing she wants, desires, expects. I was so disappointed in my father for saying that but he was so angry that I didn't dare say anything.
I'm
venting here.

Should I say anything to best friend and brother? I haven't so far. My only solution is to NOT know anyone my step-mom knows. She usually tries to get me to be surrounded with people she knows and has influence over. She wanted me to see her therapist (which I thought was really weird and I said no).
At the same time, my father says that step-mom has sacrificed for me, given me a lot, helped me a lot (totally forgetting that I acted on my own behalf and funded it on my own). Yes, she gave me some great advice. But she isn't a goddess!