Lupita,
I think that you are looking in th eright direction now-- within. If we had all the guys,.perfect looks, perfect job etc,----it would only be a temporary fill( but it would be fun at the time--lol_). However, I am seeing with my heart, that we simply have to love ourselves as the base for any other type of love coming in. It is also the base for any types of security.
Somehow, My eyes have opened like they were when I was young and I could see truth with my own eyes.
I think that the 6 weeks of dizziness was a coming out of denial about my M and seeing the N ideas that I had been brainwashed with.
The inner child books talk about happiness as being connected to your deep feelings(inner child). At that level inside you is joy. It is a child's joy . We still have it inside us.
The inner child books have given me hope that I can connect to myself again.
I was thinking about the times in my life when I was happy. It was not the 'big" events like marriage, birth of children etc. I was "happy" but it was more of a "high". The times that I was really happy were simply when I was connected to myself. I could have been doing anything-- going for a walk, going shopping, being with a friend, sitting alone etc. I was simply connected to my "gut" and felt whole. I have many memories of times like these. They were simple times that we have hundreds of times a day. . I want to get back to this Love Ami