Hi Cat,
I feel bad about the conflict too....about any conflict here, actually. I think it would be lovely if there never were any conflicts ever (but that's a bit of tooo-wishful-thinking, on my part eh?)
Thing is......we do learn from conflict. From being right in it and even from watching it. Some of what we learn isn't so nice though is it? Like how bad it feels (during and afterward).
I'm sorry you had to witness that. To be honest, I feel like I've stood up for myself, after having tried everything else and though it was painful, it was important and necessary. Otherwise, I'd be allowing it to happen to me......rather than doing something to stop it. But I also feel bad for anyone who is/was upset by it and wish there were a way to prevent that from happening.
Do you get what I mean? If you did the talk about it thing and it didn't work. If you did the avoid thing and it didn't work. The only thing that works sometimes is to do the tango thing (and I've seen that work out quite nicely, in the end, sometimes. Believe it or not, people here have had yelling matches and come out of it with the problem resolved, sometimes). But that didn't happen this time and that makes it hard for others to watch and especially, to see any value from it.
The value I get is that I will feel safer to post on this board now. That's so important to me. And actually, it might prevent some stuff from happening to other people too because the precident has now been set.
Anyway, I'm sure you don't need to hear more of this from me. I just want you to know that I'm sorry it had such an effect on you and I'm glad you feel better. One thing I was thinking about: if reading such threads had a really bad effect on me or upset me a whole lot, I just wouldn't read them, I think. There is always that option eh?
Glad you're not going to lurk too! I think that would be a real loss.
Sela
