Hi Michelle
You are very right and I am so glad that you are able to see right through her lies. The subtle way they slide in their comments is always so annoying ! Ther easiest way I found to identify lies is to substitute 'you ' with 'I' in their comments.. and sometimes it shows howmuch dishonest they are about themselves !
Once about two years ago I got so fed up with my fathers lying and my mother's non involvment to communicate with me in any way, I asked them to write to me after an emotional scene to 'tell me openly 10 secrets or lies which they have told me so far in their lifes"
After many days of thought my dad could not think up of more than two or three secrets. One of the most striking secret which he was willing to disclose to me included ' I love your mom and we fell in love and got married and I am not sure if I told you that '

Even there he couldnt call her his wife !!!!!! and they are still living together ( read sharing the same living space ) after 43 yrs of married life !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some of the other usual drivel I get from him from him include..
' You are going through a bad phase in your life I think '
" your mom loves you so much and you wont know how much she loves you ' ( but I wonder why she never bothered to conytact me even once since I left home on good terms at that time )
' Treat me as your friend. I am like one of your friends'
'Don't trust your relatives( sometimes friends ) most of them are jealous of you'
"they are jealous of you because you are lucky.. your frends don't have a father who will treat their son as a friend"
" there is a cloud over your head limiting your vision.. don't listen to anyone who might try to help you "
" I admire your courage.. thats why I know you wont ask for anyones help ( other than me )'
' your mom is sick... she would be disappointed in you"
"you are gifted. don't fall for any jealous and schemeing relatives who might try to help you'
' you are special and you always have me.. don't worry. The woman you want will come begging to you "
' You know me . I am never demanding like your friends parents. I am like your friend"
"you are very sensitive. you are over reacting.. don't get influenced by those thought that some friends or relatives might be thrusting on you cos they are jealous of us "
" you won't like me saying this but you are too sensitive.. like your mom.. she has spoilt you" ( she rarely talks to me aven when I was a kid )
Hhahahahahaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
He is a good script writer. When ever he says 'you' I substitute it for him. Is that the falsified imge he has about HIMSELF !!! and all these time I was thinking it was me !!
When ever he wanted to impose something he used 'your mother's name. talking of owning responsibility ?
hahahahahaha
What is the solution ???????
identifying LIES wherever you see them. Sometimes I think asking them to own responsibility helps.
Sometimes asking her to own up might help. It took me long to try ( and still I couldnt bring myself to ask them to own up to many things ) just a few..and it failed cos I got the standard reply
But atleast it has reduced some of my burden.. and I found atleast a tiny bit of my voice back !
keep strong
Spirit