Won't That Be Fun?

[gratitude28]

I caught myself saying this to my daughter and realized how icky it is and that I have heard "won't" to preface so many things in my life...

Saying the phrase this way is so uncomfortable because somehow it means that is you don't think it is fun, you are wrong... and thinking something is fun when prefaced this way, it seems the action shouldn't be...

Does this make sense to anyone?

When my mother uses this phrase, it means SHE thinks it will be fun and you'd better agree...

[Poppy Seed]

Coercive phrases!  I hate 'em!  My H's N-fam has tons of these.  It is part of their daily discourse.  They are so demanding that everyone and every feeling is in perfect compliance with theirs.  And if you disagree...............then comes the punishment.  I can feel their condescending eyes burring into me....until I submit of course.  And then we are all smiling again.

GAG!

Poppy

[gratitude28]

Blech, I could feel ickiness in your answer. That must have been lots of fun (((((((((((Poppy)))))))))
Love, Beth

[reallyME]

Good Topic.

Those sorts of "this is going to be enjoyed by you, cause I ENJOY IT" things, really irritate me. 

It brings back to mind, the time I owned the restaurant and the lady asked her granddaughter "do you want the regular fries or the curly fries?"  The child said she wanted the curly ones.  Again the grandmother asked the same question, but this time with an "are you SURE  you don't want the regular ones?"  The chlid again said "I want the curly fries"  The third time, the grandmother began talking the child into what SHE wanted to buy her..."aw honey, see the french fries?  they're all the same...these are just a different shape."  Child:  I don't care.  I WANT THE CURLY FRIES, GRANDMA!!!!"

finally, the grandmother looks at me and says "she'll have the regular ones."  When the child protested and again stated that she wanted the CURLY FRIES, the grandmother looked at her and said "they're all out of them honey."

Even typing this to you all, TICKS ME OFF MORE THAN WORDS!  I wanted to jump over the counter and scream "LOOK LADY!  SHE WANTS THE FRIGGEN CURLY ONES.  WE ARE NOTTTTTTTTT OUT OF THEM.  YOU JUST WANT TO MAKE HER CHOICE FOR HER AND FORCE HER TO EAT WHAT YOU WANT HER TO.  STOP TRYING TO OWN THAT CHILD AND CONTROL HER, DANG IT."

But, instead, I bit my tongue and said "ok.  that will be $2.99." 

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[isittoolate]

: Won't That Be Fun?

With that remark, I sense the parent is asking the child's permission for the parent to make this decision because the parent is unsure of the decision.

if the child says "no" then they ought not go and the child has made the decision for the parent

if the child says 'yes' the the parent is off the hook for 1.)thinking of the icky adventure 2.) suggesting it then 3.) feels more secure? that the child agrees.


I want "CURLY FRIES"---what a grandmother! What was her problem?

[isittoolate]

I sometimes think that if my name shows as the last posted, it stops the thread! I have ended many a thread.

PARANOIA or TRUTH?

AAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[gratitude28]

Laura,
That IS a totally annoying story. And you couldn't have done anything differently in the situation. Yuck, what a grandmother to have...

Izzy... interesting idea... I have never said that to my kids before... I must have heard it when my mother was here and copied it somehow. Yes, I think it is showing hesitation on the part of the parent too.

I was also thinking that it is not the best to start a sentence in a negative way like this. When I was teaching, we focused on always trying to use positive statements (i.e., please walk instead of don't run...).

[gratitude28]

Also, Izzy, threads fizzle out sometimes when I answer or my remarks are totally missed in the middle of a discussion. I get sensitive about it at times, but I decided that if I really needed to get something out or add something, I would try it as a topic (and still there are plenty of times when the subject doesn't go too far). I think, for the most part, when I really NEED to be heard here people sense it and do answer/help me.

[isittoolate]

Thank you Beth

I just finished concocting a verse for my grandson's birthday, 21 tomorrow

ONE DAY I WAS SOBER
THAT DAY IN OCTOBER
WHEN MY FIRST GRANDBABE WAS BORN.
THEY WERE CALLIN' HIM CASEY
AND HE LOOKED PRIMA FACIE
AND YUMMIER THAN A COB OF SWEET CORN

Think he will understand this?

(That's really grasping at straws!)

Izzy

He is becoming N-ish. He called me about the book that was out regarding his adventure and promised me an autographed copy (the writer) and I was excited while talking with him then believed it for about ½ and hour, then ordered my own from amazon.

I mentioned this in my letter to him that I ordered my own book and paid for it so that was his birthday present comiing over to my side of the fence----------------I am will not spoil that kid! I will say it straight on--and still sign Much Love, Gram

hypocritical or what?

Izzyface!

[gratitude28]

Izzy,
I hope your grandson does a turn-around. That would be a shame to have him stick at the childish stage as so many we know do...

I like your poem... I don't understand why you put the sober part in??? What am I missing there? I like the sweet corn... Is it sober as in serious???

Please le tus know how it goes and if he fulfills his promise...

Love, Beth

[isittoolate]

LOLOLOL
Only sober rhymes with October!.........................that I could fiind.

Letting you all know could take YEARS!

but will do
Izzy

[Iphi]

reallyME - what a story!  Let's all vow right now that if ever we see such a thing we will say the following (or applicable equivalent)

"I'm sorry.  We are all out of the straight fries and only have curly fries."   

[Hopalong]

Or, one could lean over the counter and say to the little girl, Because you are such a special customer, I am going to share a Super Duper Top Secret About Curly Fries with you...but only you, and only if you promise not to tell anyone. It's very Top Secret, but I can tell you are A Girl To Be Trusted. Okay?

Then turn your back and stick a curly fry up each nostril and turn back around and make a googly face.

Hops

[Ami]

Dear Beth,
 I have had a hard time trying to respond to this thread.I think it was b/c my WHOLE life with my M WAS a lie. So, for me the entire thing was such a lie that I can't even see where there were the "Little" lies like,"Won't that be fun?"
  There was not even enough truth there to be able to separate any truth from the lies.
 IF this makes no sense........, compost. I know what I am trying to say ,but can't seem to get it out more clearly.                       Love  Ami

[gratitude28]

I think I already took in the horror of my life being a lie, Ami. So now I am down to dissecting the tiny things to see where negativity remains in my life. I am finding less and less of it - so I know I am on the right trail.
Ami, Every time I talk to my mother now I know when she is lying to me. And I just figured out that she lies to me a few months ago!!!! If she fooled me for 37 years, I guess it's no wonder she fools relatives and others now... I just can't believe that they don't see what I see...
Love, Beth

PS< Curly fries in the nose. Yum... think I'll skip the taters for dinner...