Shunned, don't apologize for the rant at all. I have very strong feelings about education and learning, and I don't think school is the appropriate place for either one. Unfortunately, I can't homeschool right now, as much as I'd like to.
I don't check M's homework anymore, except to make sure that it's done. I've told him that I don't care if he gets A's, B's or C's, although I'd rather him not fail a test because he didn't read the questions. He's done this on the last two reading tests. So last night, we had a talk about doing our best, and I made him read the story again, at home, in a nice quiet setting and asked him to at least read the questions and answer appropriately. I don't generally make a big deal out of grades. My mother did, and I hated her emphasis on, you've got to work hard to keep your A average. I don't think grades should matter. I don't think they tell the real story of how much a child has learned. M learns more reading about hamsters and taking care of his hamster than he does doing the boring busy work that comes home every night.
He usually has a pile of homework on the weekend, and spends at least two hours on Sunday doing it. We've developed the bribe plan for weekend homework. He gets a reward for doing all of the work without nagging, prodding, or complaining. And it works. I make sure he gets it done, and if he gets a B, C or D, he gets it.
I don't like all of the focus on grades and competition and public shaming that goes in public school. I don't think it's healthy for a child like M. I'd love to put him in a private school for kids like him, but the tuition is steep, and I'm not sure how to get him to and from school yet. he's just not quite old enough to stay home alone. I went to the school and looked. It's ungraded and very laid back. It's perfect, just really expensive.