Of all the things . . .

[tayana]

I tried to respond here last night, but the board kept timing out.  I'm not sure what was up with that.

FP, please vent away, I don't mind at all.  I've heard comments just like the ones your mother said, and I know all about doing damage control after a visit.  Some of my favorites:

"Grandma just misses you so much, she doesn't know what to do without you."

"Grandma just feels sick when you aren't here."

"Grandma's just so lonely without you."  This one had my son trying to think of ways to keep her from being lonely.  He was going to invent a robot so she wouldn't be lonely.

I'm doing better now, after the shock of this incident last week and talking to my father.  I won't say that I feel great, but I feel better than I did on Friday, where I really wanted to cry.  Today, I just have a sort of blah feeling.  My brother and I talked last night.  We agreed that he wasn't going to pass along anymore information to my parents, and I said I wasn't going to call.  His exact words were, "I guess they can sit out there all alone.  That must be what they want because they've alienated everyone else.

[finding peace]

Thanks Tay for not minding about the vent!

How are you doing? Been extremely busy here. 

You know what I realized after the incubator dropped in the other day?  I was only upset for a couple of hours.  (At first I was so angry I was literally shaking with rage.) My H and I were talking, and he said that I would have been upset for days only a year ago.

I am thinking this is progress? Yeah!  Sometimes I don't realize how much I have changed since I went NC - but so many of those negative emotions that I feared I would have for the rest of my life have gone away, or have substantially decreased.  It does get easier and better with time.

So, 3 weeks and counting eh?  I think it is time to give yourself a reward for doing so well!  That first month is extremely hard - but, it well get easier.

((((Hugs)))))

Peace

[lighter]

Peace..... amazing the the sense of entitlement these people have. 

She marches into your home and distresses your children while trying to control you back into more of the same treatment.

CFB! 

Ahhhhh.... now I'm horribly reminded of the holidays, where I get to deal with family who drives me up a tree

When Halloween goes, my very very favorite of holidays..... then the BAD holidays are just around the corner: (

I think I'll have Halloween again, instead of Thanksgiving and Christmas.....

I'm about tired of celebrating the birth of Santa anyways.

Ummm.... that was a joke.

[tayana]

Lighter, the birth of Santa . . . I love it!

Do you know how much I've come to loathe holidays?  Especially Christmas?

Of course, for my birthday last year my M just gave me back some pieces of jewelry I'd given her, saying they were going to be mine eventually so she decided to give them to me now.

FP, this Sunday will be officially 1 month.  It's really hard to believe, but it's been a month since I've talked to her, and longer since I've seen her.  I can't believe it.

[Ami]

Dear Tayana,
  You seem so much better, generally, since you went NC.The jewelry present is funny. My M sent me some necklaces that she bought in Italy for my birthday. Then, she decided that she wanted them back b/c she really liked them . So, after she sent them, she took them back when she came to visit.
 I have been NC for 2 days.
  It is great about sending 2 books to the publisher. Bravo to you, Tayana.
                                  Love    Ami

[tayana]

Ami, my M did something similar.  She'd had me repair a necklace for her, then gave it back because she didn't like the repair, then when I move, demanded it back because she didn't think I would ever get it done. 

How nice of her.

She actually asked for a lot of things back.  The things she didn't ask for back, I conveniently left behind. I'd actually like to give her some of the stuff I have now back.  Of course she won't hear of that.

Hooray for you, Ami on NC.  It feels good doesn't it.

[finding peace]

Hey Lighter,

I think I know what that CFB means (but that "C" could have a number of different interpretations - most of which fit the situation - ha!)  (Sorry - a little dark humor there.)

I used to loathe the holidays as well, but since NC, well - for the first time I actually look forward to them.  We spend Christmas Eve at home and have the kids favorite meals - and it is so much fun to watch them bounce off the walls with excitement.  We spend Christmas day with the in-laws who are incredibly nice people.  My FIL has taught me the true meaning of what a father is.

I love the idea of a Halloween T-day and Halloween Christmas.  Could put the turkey in costume, and make the cranberry sauce look like blood (maybe some fake floating eyeballs?).  Can just see the chewing wasps, scrunched up prune face on my mother at the thought of not doing everything properly.  Reminds me of one year when I was a kid and I ruined her entire T-day because I put my turkey on bread with gravy (instead of having a nice little pile of turkey with a smidgeon of gravy - her reaction - you would have thought I was a cave-child  - it was just sooooo uncouth you know to eat turkey on bread at the formal dining room table )

On edit:  Yikes - now I am remembering the time she set up a card table for the kids to eat at (ages 1-5), with a table cloth, and set the fine china in it.  (And we are talking antique china plates and crystal glasses from the late 1800's) - she was so mad at me when I removed the table cloth (just the thing for a child just learning to walk to grab to pull up to a standing position) and took the fine china away - I am so glad I won't have to deal this year!!!!   

But back to the holidays.  I am thinking for Christmas, you could hang spider webs and spiders on the tree and make candy ornaments (kids would love the candy at least).  Wrap the presents in scary paper.  Hmmmm - you are giving me ideas here.  Sounds like a lot of fun to mix it up a little - although my kids might be disappointed (at least about Christmas).

Tay - you sound great.   I am so happy that things are improving for you.   Congratulations on getting the books off to the publishers!

Peace

[lighter]

I just pictured a hanging Santa..... You know those spider webs?  They'd be perfect to cacoon our stuffed santa suit and suspend him in?  Perfect but for the kids

YOur mother sounds like a true piece of work Peace.  Can you imagine the trouble she would have been when her fine china went smashing, had you left it there?

What a set up.... she probably didn't even realize she was doing it.  Just so preoccupied with how things look, no matter the reality.

[tayana]

Oh LIghter, I love that idea.  Instead of a Christmas tree, we could get one of those spooky bare trees and hang bizarre "nightmare before Christmas" decorations on it. 

[lighter]

Yes yes yes tay!  And no pine needles to deal with either!  Whoo hoo!

::Elvis singing::

Here comes Santa Clause, Here comes Santa Clause...

right down Santa Clause lane.....

Vixen

 and Blitzen and all his reindeer

pullin back in vane


He should a veered left instead of right

now....

 the Spider's got Santa to-night....




Here come Santa Clause, here come Santa Clause....

wigglin in his web.....

[tayana]

Oh, maybe instead of reindeer we could have garden gnomes or little goblins pulling the sleigh.

[lighter]

I have gargoyles...... they'd be great little sleigh pullin slaves!

[tayana]

Perfect Lighter!  And instead of angels and stars on top of our dead tree we could have a little devil and hang misshapen balls on it for ornaments.

I could really get into this.

I'm not sure M will go for it, but I could.

[lighter]

For the top of my tree..... A little skeleton in a santa cape and hat.  Should be easy enough to cut and glue out of red felt topped and trimmed in cotton balls.

Maybe some little black barbie boots, if I can find them.

I know which box the skeletons are in ::nod::

I'll paint all my cheap Walmart green glass balls black and that should do it as far as the tree goes.

Hmmmm...nope.... I'll just put on the red ornaments, to match skeleton santa's cape, and that matches the Living room and kitchen so voila! 

I HAVE A PLAN! 

My 7yo's spanish class did a lot of projects with skeletons last week.  It'll roll right into Christmas nicely: )

Deck the halls with bowes of Hemlock..... Fa la la la la.... la la la la.....

Tis the season to be jolly... Fa la la la la.... la la la la...

[tayana]

Oh skeletons! 

Maybe I'll do my tree all in witch stuff.  Witch's hats.  Witch's brooms.  Wands.  Cauldrons . . .

After all  . . . my family thinks I'm a witch.

No wait . . . they think I'm something else, something that starts with a B.