Hunter's Moon

[changing]

It is a beautiful Hunter's Moon tonight- the moon looks its biggest and exerts a huge gravitational pull. I love it!!!

When my heart and thoughts were dominated by my N hell, I lost touch with the wonders and meaning of life. Now I am rediscovering the  real world.

Hope everyone is in a place where they can enjoy the simple and universal things in life, and if not, that they get there soon!!!


Love,

Changing

[isittoolate]

changing

That sounds real purty, mighty purty.

Hope everyone is in a place where they can enjoy the simple and universal things in life

Right here at my trusty computer working on a website that has changed it's name.

11:20 p.m. so am off to bed to read--I love to snuggle down and immerse myself in my mystery novels!

Love
Izzy

[changing]

Good night Dear Izzy and sweet dreams.

Love,

Changing

[Ami]

Dear Changing,
  You are a blessing to have here.                           Love   Ami

((((((((((((((((Changing ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[axa]

On the night my daughter died there was a beautiful full moon.  Every time I see one I stop and think of her and her beautiful life and feel blessed that I had such a gift in my life. 

axa

[changing]

Oh Axa-

I am so sorry for the inconceivable loss of your sweet daughter. You are a brave and special person to keep her memory so close and dear. ((((Axa))))

Love From Your Friend,

Changing

[axa]

Thanks Changing,

I think about her so much these days, not sure why maybe it is because I have moved and am not in familiar surroundings......... miss my girl a lot these days.

thanks,

axa

[Poppy Seed]

I am so incredibly sorry,  Axa.  I hope your recollection lean to the sweetness of her memory.

((((Axa)))))

[Overcomer]

I want to cry!  I would be off the deep end if anything happened to my girls!

[changing]

Dear Axa-

Please know that you are loved and very much valued, and that my heart is with you. Some events and feelings defy description and comprehension, and the loss of your child is one of them. It is so hard to be alone and in a strange place when one is feeling such profound loss. I only hope that you are strengthened and comforted. I will be praying for you and your daughter, Axa Dear.

Love and Comfort,

Changing

[Ami]

Dear Axa,
 My heart goes out to you.I am so sorry that you have had to experience the most profound loss that there is- a child.I have not experienced it,so I know that I cannot understand. Just know that you are  very loved and very appreciated here.                  Love   Ami

((((((((((((((((((((Axa))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Hopalong]

Axa,
I will celebrate your sweet girl's life when I look up at the moon too.

And send you comfort and a hug. How you must miss her.

I will think of you and send you warm friendship, new faces to trust,
new voices to sing with, ASAP.

Get plugged in, woman! You need a close support group and
you will enrich them so! (I won't repeat my usual list...)

love and hugs and hopes you will find some light and warmth this weekend
Hops

[axa]

THank you all for your words of comfort.  I struggle with being vulnerable and have a compulsion to be OK or should i say to seem ok.  I believe I am grieving her now in a real way.  It is four years later but XN took all my time and energy and there was no space for my sadness.  STruggling a lot these days, not sleeping, feeling angry.  I know the contact with XN brought up the anger again but the anger is IN ME and I really want to shift it.  And it's not just the anger it is the obsessive anger which I hate.  I can hold some anger and use it wisely but this feels like a big self sabotage thing that is going on.  I had decided to take half a sleeping pill this evening and get some sleep and try and get into a routine again as it is completely shot at the moment.

So touched by all your kindness towards me.  This is one of the few places I can allow myself to be undefended and that feels good.  I have tried to be like this in the 3d world but my experience is that it makes people extremely uncomfortable which in turn sets me on my rescuing trail.  They must not feel bad but its ok for me to feel bad/sad etc. 

Axa

[cats paw]

Axa,

  I just wanted to send love and admiration.  Sometimes anger can hold sadness in abeyance, but only for so long.  How timely that 
  changing posted about the hunter's moon.  I still have little tremors of grief about my deceased H, and lately, they've rumbled a bit more.

  The article you mentioned a while back about mending a broken heart was a good read.

  I get a bit wordless sometimes when I try to write, but just know I will sit with you.

cats paw

(edited to add a word)

[changing]

Dear Axa-

It can be so difficult and draining to play a role for society. When one is alone and does not have a healthy or supportive FOO , it can be difficult to express that aspect of one's self that is vulnerable. I have found that as I share those parts of myself on this board that I was afraid or ashamed to previously, that the lovely and wise people here help me to make sense of things and I am better able to handle them and articulate them in my daily life as well!!! Things that I kept hidden have been "worked through" for the first time.

We are mourning your daughter with you, and hope that our love comes through as comfort and solidarity with you in your feelings.


Much Love and Hugs,

Changing