Wow, Sun..... very hard for me to see through the emotions your sleeping in the LR with your children brought up.
I have suggestions..... consider them if you think they may help.
1. Borrow a friend's dog. The bigger the better. You'll sleep better at night and I think everyone will fare better in the end if the children keep to their regular routine of sleeping in their own rooms. Besides.... you can defend better if you don't have your children at your feet where your husband can use them to control you. Are their rooms on a second story?
Maybe easier to defend one stairwell than all the entrances to the house and 6 children at one time?
2. Ask family and (female) friends for help. If a nephew, uncle or brother can move in for a while, that would be more than helpful and the court will see how frightened your H has you. Ask then resist the urge to let them all off the hook, they'll want off the hook btw. Nobody wants this scenario to be as bad as it is or true even. Ask and expect to receive help. Don't go all stoic and tell them "it's OK, if the don't pony up immediately" Ask and expect help.
3. Hold H's feet to the fire when he steps in it. If you don't, you're only extending the agony and maybe cutting your throat in court. Please don't do it for him. The court already dismisses women, outright, in divorce cases. Be consistent and don't waiver any more.
4. How would you defend yourself if he comes up that stairwell in the middle of the night? I want to suggest a tazer but..... I don't know what your money situation is. Might be a great investment? Remember, if it comes to it..... no one can defend their eyes.... NO ONE. NO matter how big they are.... if you don't take a big hit to the head... you can get to his eyes. Think EYES EYES EYES if it's you and him and you have to defend yourself. EYES. Then, you get out of the house and get help. Don't try to round up children and go. GO. He wants you, not them.
5. Your attorney has 60 to 80 clients. That's staggering when you think about it. He doesn't have your best interest in mind. He doesn't have the time. You have to be your own best advocate.
Maybe it's time for a new dog? I hate the idea of the trouble that entails but.... rescue dog services may have one that doesn't like men, unless a woman is around, is 4 feet tall and needs a new home with chilren. You can get on the internet and look, if only to take your mind off the fear for a while.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. BTW.... NO CONTACT. Right? Tell your family and fiends NC too. He gets to you through others when his attorney and the police MAKE him follow the rules. Then he goes back to his old tricks soon enough. Don't give him the satisfaction or control. You'll feel better too, though I know you have terrible anxiety when you can't check his temperature. Rest assured that he has malice towards you, no matter what. Even when you check his temperature, you shouldn't feel reassured, it's just habit and false security.
Be aware. Be consistent. Follow the rules and make sure H is held accountable. You have no choice..... the only other choice is false and won't end this sooner or more peacefully. Your best weapon is to help the court enforce your rights. They want off the hook. They want you out the door. They want you to settle quickly and they punish the good and bad guys alike, bc your taking up their time.
Be your own advocate, no one else is going to do it for you. If you need to phone the police, they'll most likely arrive to witness the mess, not arrive in time to help. Do you have neighbors who know what's going on? Have them keep an ear and eye out for you. Call them too if you need help. Don't feel bad about asking for help.
Please tell me the he doesn't have his guns. If he does.... have you mentioned them and his past behavior? Are the guns in your home? Do you have access? Does he know where they are in the house? Not sure what happened to the weapons but I thought you hid them or got rid of them a while back?
Call the police when you feel threatened. Don't just sit huddled with your children in fear. The court needs to know when you're in fear for your life. The kids know you may have to phone the police. The police expect the calls and know they are needed in your case now. Call when you feel threatened and don't let him come near the house without a call to the authorities in the future.
(((Sun))) CB, Hops and Mud can tell you.... it gets better once you stick to your guns and get through the turmoil.
