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N vs. Culture

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Tokyojim:
Concerning culture, it seems that when conflicts arise, much is really the struggle the person is having with one foot in each of two cultures.  I read the posts again, and it seems that the actual language is "western," for lack of a better word.  The new concepts of individuality are really western, and, once the thinking process has begun, it is there - permanently.  It is not a cause of the problem, but a part of it.  It is almost as though the "ignorance is bliss" idea has been removed.  When one gets exposed to another culture that is in conflict with the one of one's parents or surrounding society, conflict is inevitable.

It is unfortunate, but it requires making a choice and/or compromise.  I think that "faking it" in one culture works.  Better still, one can think of it as "adapting."

I received one piece of advice in relation to my brother and the severely dysfunctional lifestyle and family that he set up.  Rather than letting it get to me by my feeling a sense of needing to belong or be similar, he said to observe it and try to understand why I did not wind up like that.  Do not fully take part, but look at them as an anthropologist would, without judgment, but only trying to understand.  It was a bit difficult at first, but it worked!

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