Addressing Fear

[mudpuppy]

Fear begets fear.

Very true. Whatever we do reinforces itself, but it works both ways. When you finish something you would otherwise have quit or not even started you realize your fear was not justified and you gain a little confidence and eventually you won't give a tinker's d*** what anyone else thinks. OK, you'll probably still care what other's think but not in a debilitating way.

I want to trust God and my faith in God that I don't have to fear anymore.

....perfect love casts out fear....1John 4:18.

That doesn't mean our love is flawless but that when we have been made complete by God and His perfect love we have nothing to fear because when He is for us nothing can be against us. He has already given us that strength and the peace that passes understanding but we can all too easily listen to the lies that we do not already abide safe in His everlasting arms. The creator of the universe says that you are His friend and that He is on your side. Whose the other side got?

mud

[Ami]

WOW Mud,
   I love that post. My next Scipture that I take ( as a medicine) is Perfect love casts out fear.". I took "You shall know the truth and the truth will make you free and LOOK how much I SAW( too much----lol). Not really-truth is the antidote to denial.
                                                                                                                                       Thanks Mud                               Love  Ami

[Lupita]

Tell me about it. I feel fear all the time. ALL THE TIME. Like something bad is going to happen. And shame. I did something wrong, feel shame all the time.

[Certain Hope]

Fear begets fear.

Very true. Whatever we do reinforces itself, but it works both ways. When you finish something you would otherwise have quit or not even started you realize your fear was not justified and you gain a little confidence and eventually you won't give a tinker's d*** what anyone else thinks. OK, you'll probably still care what other's think but not in a debilitating way.

I want to trust God and my faith in God that I don't have to fear anymore.

....perfect love casts out fear....1John 4:18.

That doesn't mean our love is flawless but that when we have been made complete by God and His perfect love we have nothing to fear because when He is for us nothing can be against us. He has already given us that strength and the peace that passes understanding but we can all too easily listen to the lies that we do not already abide safe in His everlasting arms. The creator of the universe says that you are His friend and that He is on your side. Whose the other side got?

mud

Oh yeah, now that's what I'm talkin about     Mr. Mud, those are some beautiful words of life there... thanks!!

((((((( Dear Pops))))))) All is well for me... and yeah, I was hurt, but by God's grace determined not to allow that pinch to grow roots.... and besides, bigger than any stumbling-stone of offense is my desire to always be available to cheer you on and support your ability to freely speak your mind and heart without fear of rejection.
As somebody who regularly gets misunderstood, I can surely relate... and I know how frustrating it is. So... although I can't promise to always comprehend, maybe the very best gift is the willingness to try... and to keep open ears and heart? That's what I value, come to think of it... because anything less comes of judgment, and not mercy... and Lord knows there's been more than enough condemnation in both of our lives.

Much love and only tender thoughts to you, dear sister,
Carolyn

[Poppy Seed]

Carolyn and others,

You know, I am glad this little experience of hurt feelings happened....I was given a great blessing in the process of it.    I recognized how many times I had been punished for sharing my feelings.  I learned how out of balance my N family system has made me and how gun shy.  I re-learned that real friends listen to you and express their real feelings too.  I learned that you CAN explain and forgiveness with understanding CAN come easily without requiring blood offering first.  My inner  soul is grateful today for the kindness of a few of you board members that tried to understand my feelings and shared with me your own.  Because I was SOOOO ready for the rejection.  And feeling so many confusing feelings inside because of it.  Not because of this situation, but because this situation helped me see such a pattern of being rejected and punished for the tiniest of misunderstandings.  I am so not perfect.  And today, I didn't have to be to get love.

You gave me a precious gift by not rejecting me.  For accepting my apology and explanation and for letting it go as a bobble and not a deep wound.  I stood a little taller today.  I felt ..... OK.  How great is that?  To know that you are simply OK.  Thank you for the gift.  It was a small thing.  But through small and simple things, great things come to pass!!   Talk about overcoming fear.......

Thank you,
Poppy

[Ami]

Dear Poppy,
 I am so glad that you are doing better. You can learn new patterns on the board,just as you are. Once you learn the new patterns on the board,you can use them( as  tools) in real life.
  That is what getting your voice back is all about(IMO)                             Love to you,  Ami

(((((((((((((((((((((Poppy))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Hopalong]

I am so not perfect.  And today, I didn't have to be to get love.

 

(((((((((Poppy)))))))))

love
Hops

[Ami]

Dear Poppy,
 I was just re-reading this thread. What hit me was that you(I) can have denial of our value, and worth as much as a denial of deep emotions and memories.
  So, as I heal,I come in to my place that God made for me( and that my M tried to steal) that I have value in this world.
  It has to be a heart revelation,though
  The HARDEST thing in healing is to believe the truths about us in the heart. If it is not in the heart,it does not have the POWER to change us. That is how s/one can know all the promises in the Bible and be dying of self hate.It has not gotten in to the heart.
 To get all the truths of God's love in to my heart is my next goal.I have almost come to the end of facing the truth about my M.
  The Bible promise worked. You shall know the Truth and the Truth will make you free.I am almost free.
  Now,I have to address the fear that Lupita was talking about.
  The Bible says that the fear of death is the ROOT fear of any other fear.
 I want to have the Scripture,"Perfect love casts out Fear" in my heart. That is my current goal----to get it in my heart.
                              Love   Ami


((((((((((((((((((((((Poppy)))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Certain Hope]

Carolyn and others,

You know, I am glad this little experience of hurt feelings happened....I was given a great blessing in the process of it.    I recognized how many times I had been punished for sharing my feelings.  I learned how out of balance my N family system has made me and how gun shy.  I re-learned that real friends listen to you and express their real feelings too.  I learned that you CAN explain and forgiveness with understanding CAN come easily without requiring blood offering first.  My inner  soul is grateful today for the kindness of a few of you board members that tried to understand my feelings and shared with me your own.  Because I was SOOOO ready for the rejection.  And feeling so many confusing feelings inside because of it.  Not because of this situation, but because this situation helped me see such a pattern of being rejected and punished for the tiniest of misunderstandings.  I am so not perfect.  And today, I didn't have to be to get love.

You gave me a precious gift by not rejecting me.  For accepting my apology and explanation and for letting it go as a bobble and not a deep wound.  I stood a little taller today.  I felt ..... OK.  How great is that?  To know that you are simply OK.  Thank you for the gift.  It was a small thing.  But through small and simple things, great things come to pass!!   Talk about overcoming fear.......

Thank you,
Poppy

Dear Poppy,

For me, too.... all of the above.
Thank you so much for putting all of this into words... such a gift.
My current situation has thrown me into survival gear (to be distinguished from survival mode, because it's strictly temporary). It's not awful or anything like that, just so very busy and different...  and so my ability to express is cramped; but not my ability to feel.
Every bit of what you've written I have felt... here and now... and I'm so very grateful to you.
Hadn't realized how much I generally anticipate rejection... so much so that it barely warranted dread - it was just a fact of life.
All of that is changing now... amazing!!
Only God knows how very glad I am to have met you here.

With so much love and hugs,
Carolyn

[Poppy Seed]

Hadn't realized how much I generally anticipate rejection... so much so that it barely warranted dread - it was just a fact of life.
All of that is changing now... amazing!!


I am so glad to here that it is changing.  Would you mind sharing how or what is making the difference for you?  Is it that you see the world differently or that you are now teaching the world to treat you better?????

Only God knows how very glad I am to have met you here.


Right back at 'cha!

Pops