Poppy... we're feeling a bit better but..... my hormones slapped me around good yesterday. Almost dizzy and every body part felt fatigued, all on it's own.
Not thinking clearly and outlook bleak, to say the least.
Not a good day so.... what do last night?
We eat Mexican, where my 5yo wonders out of the restaurant (all on her own) while I'm wiping my 7yo's butt in the bathroom
Bad mother, bad!
I was at the table,trying to get the bill together, money out and sorted, leftovers gathered when H says he left the girls in the bathroom, then he dissapears.
That shot of adrenaline about knocked my feet off. I went into the dollar store, which was my first guess.... no child. Then back into the restaurant where I just barely kept myself from smacking people around, in order to make them talk,
think, REMEMBER the little girl with with the leopard top that showed her belly button.... "SHE'S DRESSED INNAPROPRIATELY HOW COULD YOU MISS HER FOR GOD'S SAKE?!!??!" She was wearing a pinned swimsuit skirt it was obviouse!
They couldn't remember seeing her standing next to the ladies room or walkiing by. Which made me think someone had dragged her back by the bathroom to the EXIT door at the rear. Why isn't she screaming?!?!? Why isn't she at the register with some nice mommy person, waiting for me?
I was beside myself when she dodey doed her way right up to me, walking BACK through the restraurant, having left the dollar store she'd been browsing her way through.
OMG, I was never so glad to LEAVE and go home to bed where we put on Mel Gibson's APOCALYPTO.
The movie.
It had me in barely controlled hormonally challenged fits.
I had to go and touch my children in the other room, in order to sit through the entire thing.
Have any of you seen it?
Not a date night flick but something to consider if you can't find your copy of the EXCORCIST when you're in the mood.
Just what I needed...... parents lashed, by their throats, to a pole.... marched through the jungle with the wailing of abandoned infants followed by abandoned small children.
The words of a 7'ish little girl, 5 or 6 toddlers clinging to her.... unable to follow her mother at the river's edge... "Do not worry mother..... I will care for them... they are mine now." AHHHHHHHHHH!
Oh oh.... and the raging sociopath
bad guy, (as opposed to the hardnosed business man bad guy) with a hard on for our protagonist.
Protag's pregnant wife and cute as a button toddler son trapped in a deep deep hole that will surely become flooded at some point, since Protag boy doesn't want it to rain.
Then we have the good stuff.
The scene where the jaguar is chasing him/Protag is quite fun..... satisfying even. ::nodding::
I enjoyed the jump over the falls and found it a bit humorous when the bad guys followed him over the falls.
Evil has lots of energy.
::whispering:: It reall doesn't rest.
The Pig Trap and Poison Frog Blow dart scenes were immenesely satisfying, though I felt Protag should have used his darts with more discernment.
One per bad guy. But I wasn't in charge: /
He used
3 on one and that seemed wasteful to me, but hey....
they were
his darts and he squeezed the frog. ::nodding::
When he plucked a big leaf, one that seemed to be hiding him while he was setting an ambush, I was again bothered.
Later on, I realized he used it as a blowgun (which prompted further bother over how few darts he'd prepared.)
THE JUNGLE WAS FULL OF BLOWGUNS!!!!!!!
All in all.... it was a lesson (in reminders) about the type of men who walk the earth, the type of men we invite into our lives and the men we wish we'd invited
Also.... a lesson in how life is an
unknown. Even those who really want to know what horrors lay ahead, can't
KNOW.
Sidebar rant: Every time an abused woman is asked..... "Well, surely you knew!?!" As though that solves everything, nothing to be done..... I'll think about this movie. There is no
all seeing all knowing being on this earth. It's just an easy cop out for good men
to do nothing.What's that quote?
"All that's necessary for evil to triumph, is for good men to do nothing."
In this movie.... our Protagonist
asks..... he
wants to know..... he struggles mightily.... much harder than he ever thought he could, I'm sure.... endures injury, pain, a jump over a rocky water fall, the mockery of a sociopathic sadist, watching his frieds and father die horribly with the constant worry for his wife and child. His journy is
improbable. Like most
horrible journeys, I should think.
I also liked the jaguar scene and the part where the little girl, with some open sore sickness on her face, approaches her tormentors and is pushed away. She enjoys their fear (of her,) even while she suffers over the body of a dead parent, she manages to stop and smell that bitter flower during her misfortune.
Improbable that the captors would sell all the women and gently release the old woman no one wanted to purchase.
Improbable that they'd/the captors would, paint all the men blue and march them up a very tall pyramid, splay them over an alter and cut their live hearts out then lop off their heads, tossing them down the stairs followed by the body. BAM BAM BAM BAM....
Improbable that people would cheerfully be waiting at the foot of the stairs to catch the heads in big ropey catcher baskets. Seemed a bit dangerous to me...
it's all fun and games till somebody loses an eye. Even more improbable that they'd take the men and use them for target practice, when they were no longer needed as sacrafices, that is.
Why not release them, like the old woman was released?
Improbable that the bad guys were SUCH good shots with a bow or spear. Even the serpentining Protagonist was hit! I told him to serpentine, btw.
Improbable that they'd be such good
trackers..... such focused risk takers in order to screw someone up. Well, in all fairness.... our protagonist did kill the captor taking leader's son. ::nodding::
So..... when someone asks a woman WHY she was a victim of DV..... didn't she know? Didn't she see it coming? Why did she stay? The answer is... who could see
that coming?
It makes no sense! Why would someone DO such an insane thing to their wife and children? Their entire family!?!? Sabotaging them.... undermining.... driving them mad tearing them down and robbing them of all energy and ability to care for their own children?
We don't walk the earth thinking of the craziest shit we can imagine stalking us......... bc it's
improbable. I M P R O B A B L E.
Lot's of crazy stuff to think up.... how could they choose their fate out of so many possible crazy possibilities?
Hmmmm...being stalked by an evil entity, being stalked by a crazy serial killer, surviving a nuclear holocaust, surviving an earthquake, surviving a bear attack......
or.... surviving a spouse sabotaging their own life and undermining the strength and will to live of the mother of their children like some evil entity and sometimes like a raging bear on the attack in private where no one else can see. IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!!
NONE at ALL.
And Poppy..... I did get my Dining Room Squared away.... all clear clear Zen space.
The Halloween beasties are all in their boxes, cobwebs down and candy hidden.
I'll be working on finishing some furniture placement and the ongoing editing organizing project. Part of my problem is that I've become a dumping ground for friends and family.... for
their STUFF. I'm not fretting too terribly but I am coming to solutions that put me first.
I don't think I can keep sheltering them from their responsiblilities at my own expense, that's for sure.
The resentment washes over me....... it's a very funny thing. Resentment, guilt, shake it off, perservere, resentment, guilt, shake it off, persevere......
At some point I tell them I'm going to be having a sale, they must come and get their things if they still value them. If they don't..... I send them the money after the sale and that's that.
Tues I had a very nice gathering with the CHARM group. I do see how this stuff works. How hard it is for most people to master the art of winning people over...... finding comfort in their own skins enough to help other people be comfortable in theirs.
I feel very good when I'm there...... esp if I just dive in and skip the dread. Easier said than done but I've realized all the people there have dread..... for some reason that makes it easier for me. ::shrug::
I'll catch up a little on the board... then go back to work: )
