CB: Great insight. Then I internalize my frustration by eating too much. Then I feel sick because I ate too much.
But the reality is that I am surrounded by dysfunctional people and I play right into their hands. I think it is only natural to let my mom and aunt into my life enough to lament with me when my daughter is stressing. But rather than getting support from them they say things like "oh you and your cheerleading drama (roll eyes) and in the big scheme of things this means nothing and cheerleading isn't a sport anyway....." Invalidation. Minimizing. I think they are trying to help........
But it is my fault for telling them about it anyway. If you stick your hand into a cage with a vicious dog, you WILL get bit. And that is almost how it is for me. If I engage these people - I WILL see their true colors and it will make me furious......
But what do I do in the case of my H? If I let him go about his business, I will be the one who does the majority of everything and he will be the one complaining.......no, I take that back. I am the one who is complaining. He only complains when I ask him to do anything. So if I do not ask him, I will not hear his complaining but it will still irk me to no end.......
So here is my strategy......wonder how this will work? I will just avoid them. At work I will steer clear of mom AND aunt. At home I will become a zombie and just go about my business. Meanwhile my H and my relationship will go further into the toilet because I will realize there really is no relationship. It is me keeping the peace and doing everything while he sits downstairs and gets drunk and sighs when I ask him to pick up a corner of a table so we can move it six inches.......
