I think I have just had my 1st encounter with a Narcissist - help

[Ami]

Bill,   the new discoveries in Quantum Physics are that there is really no "time and space" as we know it. They have done studies with light particles where one particle will "know" what another particle(far away) is "doing'.
  Also, "great minds think alike."                                              Ami

[gabbenangel]

Ok, Ami, Now I realize you must have watched Psycho last night too.  Tell me you did!

I'm sitting here laughing at my desk or (shall I say rolling under it) on a monday morning as I get caught up reading these posts...

Bill - I started to watch Psycho on Saturday eve. I watch the Birds beforehand...funny stuff here.

[Ami]

You are cute,Lise.                                                                                  Ami

[gabbenangel]

the reason I gravitated toward the N's and X in my life, was because I WAS NEEDY emotionally and socially.  X felt like someone I could connect with spiritually, promised me the sun, moon and stars, in the form of publishing my poetry, giving me a position of worship leader/deliverance minister eventually in X's ministry, and basically promising to be that mother-figure, friend forever.


The above is a good description of the N Woman and my situation, talk about calling a spade a spade.

This N woman was exactly all that you described above and more. When it came to ministry she would oppress people, pick the least talented or gifted in a particular area for a particular role, it was like she wanted everyone to look bad so that she could look good but she knew that she had to let others do stuff too so it appeared to all that she was not trying to gain the spotlight and that she was humble...all to create image but still covertly agressive.

She always had me doing book binding or admin stuff behind the scenes of her prayer ministry. Yet, I am a gifted speaker but she would not let me speak at group meeting or at retreats. She said that my motives for speaking were for selfish reasons, or for points of honour. She even once said that she was afraid that I suffer from spiritual pride, therefore the only reason that I would want to help anyone or speak is to gain admiration, hmmmm I think that was a gross projection of herself. I do suffer from pride, we all do, but now I can see her constant need for admiration and attention yet she plays the meek role so well. Now I see that her image is or what was more important to her than anything.

Once, when I told her that I wanted to leave the ministry and that I thought her doctrine was bogus she sat and sulked with her head down in a corner while we prayed. I was sure that she was just praying devoutly but looking back and hindsight has perfect vision, she was pouting because another person was going to leave her group. She avoided me all through that evening at dinner and was icy saying goodbye...I was always so confused, she was supposed to be loving and spiritual...talk about mind games.

[reallyME]

gab,

in the case of X, she didn't really pick people who were bad at things, so she could embarass them.  She wanted to be like certain people so she buddied up with them and, after she learned whatever talent they had, she began to criticize that talent in the person who taught it to her or shared it with her.  She could leave you almost questioning your own beliefs, very easily.  I watched her do this to a former friend.  The woman was a wonderful singer, although a bit over-exhuberant in it at times, and X left her on the floor sobbing because of putting her down and calling her names.  Of course, x wasn't phased even while this lady was on the floor at her feet in a puddle of shame and tears.

As far as my saying goodbye...well, as i've told before, I never really DID say goodbye.  X ditched me when I told X's friend to stop rubbing my nose in the fact that X liked her and no longer liked me.

[Ami]

Dear Laura,
  I am glad that Gab is on the board for you, also( as well as me).I don' t  think that there has been another person who had such a similar issue as yours on the board(that I have seen, anyway)
  It must be a relief to share such similar circumstances.
                 Love   Ami

[JanetLG]

Bill,

As to the idea of buying 'professional mommies' which you said could also be called 'blow-up dolls.' 

That sounds like a great idea. Do you mean, you buy a doll that represents your mother, and then blow it up...

KA-BOOM!!!!

It would be a great therapeutic release, wouldn't it?

Janet

[Ami]

Put dynamite in it, Janet .                                   Ami

[gabbenangel]

Put dynamite in it, Janet .                                   Ami

 

"Cute" right back at you Ami!

[JanetLG]

Ami,

You mean, so that it goes


KA-BOOM!!!

[gabbenangel]

This is too funny
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change of subject but still N bashing... or Ka-Bashing.....
Perhaps they have found the missing link for the N's:

Artice says:

"Like children who complain "no fair," capuchin monkeys throw fits when their companions get better treats."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/monkeysfussoverinequality

[wiltay]

Sounds like a real money-maker to me!  Who should we make her look like?  How about Norman Bates mother?  I bet you anything she was an N! (I'm completely serious).

[JanetLG]

Bill,

I don't think she'd have to look like anyone in particular, all she'd need is that glassy-eyed look, and that 'Cherie Blair' grin (you know, the one where the mouth is smiling, but the eyes aren't), to look like a proper N. Mind you, it might not sell well, then.

I know! A mask in front of the 'real' face! Now, that WOULD be realistic, if symbolic!


Janet

[Ami]

That is so cute.
 I was thinking of famous N's(but I can't really think of any). It would be very strange to see an N on T.V. where your every move is magnified.
  BTK, a killer,(if you ever saw him on T.V) had that N expression. He reminded me of my M. He was giving a speech to the families of the people that he killed.His emotions were totally blank. He was trying to "relate",but he had no empathy.
  It was "funny" in a horrible way.Did anyone see that?                            Ami
 
 

[Gabben]

OK,

This saintly N has reared her ugly head in my life again...why are N's so damn frustrating?

Last summer, before our parting or her dismissing, I referred her to a agency for a job. At the time I sent her the e-mail referral she never responded with eve a thank you or anything. I assumed it was not what she was looking for. Well, just this week I heard that she actually got the job -- thanks to me, but did she thank me? Of course not.

My T confirmed it for me last night. Wow...and she never even acknowledged that it was because of my lead that she has a new job now.

She is also exploiting people again.

I learned that she does not have an MFCC, she never did, she has a LSW - social worker and that is it...I was under the impression that she was a grief counselor. She lied to me and falsely portrayed herself.

The woman at the agency, that I referred N saint to, was working with me on a outreach project. Now I see that N saint is working with her. I called her and she was cold and acting funny to me..it was obvious that N saint is up to her old tricks again, making others turn against me in the sly and subtle ways...knowing her and what she used to say to me about others...she would drop hints that people have emotional problems or mental problems. I'm sure she is doing that about me.

The N's...ugh!!!!! They are so frustrating....are they not???

I want her away from me and out of my head...for good.

Why am I able to see her crap and others are still fooled? Are some N's that master minded and good at fooling people? Are some N's really psychopaths? They really actually use people under the guise of caring or counseling fields?

In the course of all of my hell with this woman...I have never spoken out against to anyone..never. I have to keep silent otherwise I will be at her level and be slandering...I will not slander, I will trust God in the end.

There is so much more that she is doing that is covert and awful but I can't articulate it here or explain it all here. It is like she is still out to get me and punish me.

Do N's envy and if they do do they try to emulate those they envy? She is trying to take something from me, I can't explain what here but my gut is telling me she is up to no good.

Lise