Thank you Hops!
"We with facial deformities are children of the dark," he said. "Our shadow is on the outside. And we can see in the dark:
we can see you, we see you turn away, but one day we finally understand that you turn away not from our faces but from your own fears. From those things inside you that you think mark you as someone unlovable to your family, and society and even to God.
I think that children with N parents and especially an N mom can relate to this. I know that I can, especially at this particular stage of my healing.
Having and N mom makes you feel like you have facial deformities (this is not to minimize or take away from the unique experience of what this wonderful man went through or what anyone with physical deformities does but I'm sure he would agree with the pain and loss of lack of mirroring he needed and missed as a child because of his face.
I've always been told that I am pretty, dimples, long black hair, even features and clear skin. However, I never knew why guys would follow me or other woman would scowl at me. I always thought is was because they could see how bad I was...that perhaps they saw how flawed I was, wounded and emotionally disturbed.
Just yesterday I received an email from a woman who I sat next to at a conference I attended this past summer. She was telling someone else in the email, who had brought my name up, what a lovely visit her and I had while we were having lunch and what a gentle gracefilled pretty lady I was. I can recall later, after our lunch, how I walked away and said to myself, "she must see that I am an idiot or super messed up."
I think in my mom's eyes my emotions and needs made her turn away from me in fear.
