Dear Changing,
THAT must be how you healed. You transformed your pain and lack of love in to giving-------Cheech and Chong moment.
Changing----I have been trying to "ask" you this question, but I could not put it in to words. You had a healing of your past by giving love. Then, you were in a "state" of love.So, you did not get proper FOO love,but you can live in a state of love by 'giving". Lord---that is BIG.
That is SO profound..
Maybe it is how it used to be for me. I was "innoculated" from my M's abuse as LONG as I could see that I was part of the human race . As long as I could see that I was experiencing the "human" pain that everyone was---I stayed "intact" inside. I could see other people's pain and I could offer warmth to them. I was enriched( felt loved inside) and I retained "myself"
Once,I became "numb", I felt "different". Then,I went down the tubes fast and never have gotten out yet.
The key for me staying whole was accepting ALL my feelings and thoughts as 'human" and not "bad" or "not human"
Also, I recieved love by 'giving love" by helping to relieve s/one else's pain.
Changing-----is this what you mean? Ami