Megan Meier - victim of internet hoax and possibly an N - very sad and intense

[DreamSinger]

Hey, all. I'm rarely here anymore these days, but I discovered this news late last night and it's been haunting me, and I'm trying to process this. I feel like if anyone is going to understand or recognize what's going on, you guys can.

It's about Megan Meier, a 13 year old, who committed suicide last year after a boy she met and was wooing her on MySpace, Josh Evans, suddenly turned on her and sent her vicious messages, along with other kids on-line. The story has resurfaced, and this time has gone national.

The last messages to Megan were sent via "bulletin", which means they are broadcast to everyone who's on their "friend's list", not just to one specified person.

Turns out that the boy was the creation of  an adult, the mother of a girl who used to be Megan's best friend. They had gone back and forth as friends, and when Megan was transferred to a new school, she ended it with this girl.

So this girl's mother creates this hoax, for the sole purpose, she said, to garner Megan's trust and find out what Megan was saying about her daughter and other friends.

Megan was being treated for depression, diagnosed as ADD and emotionally unstable ever since the 3rd grade when serious bullying started. She was taken out of her current school and started a new school that year. Getting this contact from Josh was a big self esteem booster for Megan and for the first time in ages, she was feeling better about herself.

But the boy was a hoax, and despite what the mother claims, the purpose was to humiliate Megan once she realized she was foolish enough to think a real boy was interested in her and that all her correspondences were being read by people laughing behind her back!

And this woman and her husband were aware of Megan's emotional state. They, also, actively encouraged other kids in the neighborhood to participate in this hoax.

I don't know what chills my blood the most - the events I just described or the fact that this woman and her family, attended Megan's funeral, consoled the Meier's and invited Megan's grieving family to attend her daughter's birthday after Megan's death. Plus, they had asked the Meier's to hold a Christmas present foosball table for them in the Meier's basement, which the Meier's graciously agreed to!

How can you do that???

The Meier's didn't find out until six weeks after their daughter's death who Josh Evans really was, and that was because the mother of a daughter who had been recruited to participate by the offending parents, confessed to her mom and the mom came forward. She said when the ambulance was taking Megan away, the mother/Josh Evans called this girl and told her not to tell anyone about MySpace, because it could cause trouble.


I am so disturbed by this...

From what I've read there's been no expression of remorse, whatsoever...just one written statement that she's sorry for what the family is going through, but NOT one word about being sorry for the part she or her family played.

Here's some links to a few articles:
http://stcharlesjournal.stltoday.com/news/sj2tn20071110-1111stc_pokin_1.ii1.txt
http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/stcharles/story/77D27634D36233968625739800167159?OpenDocument
http://www.chicagotribune.com/services/newspaper/printedition/saturday/chi-suicidenov17,0,2946138.story
http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=3888606&page=1
(abc news has a video clip next to article)


Here's a link to a CNN interview of Megan's parents.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/11/17/internet.suicide.ap/index.html?iref=newssearch#cnnSTCVideo
(hit refresh or reload if video doesn't start right away...this can be hard to watch)

Cyberbullying is relational aggression taken on-line, but I think this goes way beyond that. It sounds like Megan fell victim to someone with a serious personality disorder who took Megan's rejection of her daughter personally. No boundaries, no empathy, no remorse.

I think that's why I'm freaking out so much about this story. I can literally feel the evil in this story.

[finding peace]

     

(((((((((((((((((((((Megan and Megan's family)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[DreamSinger]

You know, relational aggression is tragic...but this is beyond that. I've been dealing with relational aggression for a long time, and help women who are still dealing with scars from childhood or who are finding themselves facing it in their work.

But this cyberbullying was perpetrated by a grown middle aged woman against a 13 year old child. I know relational aggression can cross boundaries, including age groups, but I just haven't heard of it in this extreme before.

What really gets me is the total lack of remorse and the show of sympathy to Megan's grieving family, when she knew full well what she did to contribute to that child's death. That's what I just can't seem to deal with.

And then to tell the parents to "give it a rest", when this came out again, like they were the one's being inappropriate here? It's like having my abuser tell me to move on, to let it go...I mean, how dare I try to deal with his lies, his verbal and emotional abuse?

I know this is really triggering stuff in me...this woman's lack of remorse, her response to this tragedy.

And do you know that the law has said they can't hold this woman accountable for her actions, even though in my mind I can see what a hate crime it is and that, as an adult who impersonated a young person of the opposite sex and stalked this child down on the internet, is no less a predator than the guys you see getting caught by law enforcers.

But guess who has the criminal charges filed against them? Megan's father for destroying the foosball table when he discovered how these people had driven his daughter to suicide and then played them for fools throughout her funeral and the weeks after. The woman filed charges against him!

How's that for gall?

[mudpuppy]

She may escape criminal charges but she sure as heck is on the hook for civil penalties if Megan's parents wanted to press it.
Hard to imagine a jury looking the other way, and you know if they started digging there is way more under the rocks that hasn't come out.
Sickening.

mud

[DreamSinger]

Hi Mudpuppy,

That is a good idea and I wish they'd do it, but my understanding at this time is that Megan's parents aren't interested in civil penalties. They want to make changes in the laws that would afford children greater protection. I don't know how successful they will be or even exactly what they want to see changed or set in place. But one thing for sure, this has taken the blogging community by storm.

[finding peace]

Dear DreamSinger,

Megan's story has been haunting me all night.  I don't understand people like this, and I don't think I ever will.  The evil is tangible. 

Peace

[changing]

Finding Peace-

You are so right. Hope you have a blessed holiday.

Love and Thanks from Your Friend,

Changing

[DreamSinger]

Finding Peace, I too am haunted by this. There's been a terrible backlash though surrounding this story, and I'm interested in seeing how it pans out. In one sense it's a kind of justice, but in another it's scary. The emotional reaction by bloggers have been incredibly intense. I've been reading a number of blogs, and the comments run into the hundreds on them...one will probably reach 1,000 in a short while.

The abusers have been "outed", their names, addresses, phone numbers, places of work, etc have all been posted on the internet. Just tonight, someone found a photo of Lori Drew, the accused woman...actually, she confessed her part in a police report, and that's been posted on the internet, as well. I believe it's a screen shot from a news program. They no longer have the protection of anonymity as they have this past year

There's going to be a peaceful demonstration in their neighborhood to show support for the Meier's, I believe this Saturday (I hope it remains peaceful - I believe in the organizer's intent and desire to be respectful and keep it peaceful). They want to raise money to pay for the fine the Meiers have to pay for destroying the foos ball table when they found out their neighbors had driven their daughter to suicide. Incredibly, the Drew's actually filed a criminal complaint against the Meiers and won their judgment.

Anyway, the dynamics are very intense, and also quite dangerous in that people are posting things without verification or claim to have verified something without showing their source of information or explaining how...and too many people are taking things on face value and running with it.

I despise what was done, but I keep thinking, "What if someone were wrong? What if an innocent person got pointed out?" And in fact, there is another person by the name of Lori Drew who isn't this woman, at all, except she shares the same name and from what I understand, she's received some nasty calls.

This whole thing is crazy...

The bottom line is that a very evil and hateful thing was done and the consequences are irreversible. I just hope more innocent people don't get hurt. I don't know how far this is going to escalate. On one blog, the bloggers are starting to focus on the third party, an employee of the mother, who opened the MySpace account with the mother and monitored messages with her, as well. There are some people who think she should be kept out of this because they say she's a child, but then someone stated she's 18, and they feel she's just as guilty and want to hound her, as well.

I part of me just wants to scream "STOP!", but it just seems like this thing is running out of control...

And then there's the horrible reality of what the Drew's did to this child. But as if that wasn't enough... how could these people have acted all compassionate and caring to the Meiers afterwards, and even asked the Meier's to do something for them by keeping that foos ball in storage? That just blows me away...

I'm in shock over the hoax...but I think what's serving as a triggering factor for me is the play acting the "next day" to the grieving parents.

I recognize this energy, I can feel it...it has the same smell, the same presence of my childhood home, when Daddy could abuse his daughters in the middle of the night and then act like it never happened and be Mr. Wonderful Father and and expect us to be adoring good children back, oh yes, and the good law enforcer...he was a criminal investigator. 

My heart is breaking...I swear, I work a lot with hurting women and children...I sing at victim rights vigils and memorials, I listen to victims tell their stories of grief and loss in candle lighting ceremonies, I hold hands, I offer my shoulder and I have my own story, but this one, as you've said...haunts me...

I will need to find a way to resolve this within myself. All I can do now is watch these events unfold...there's something that needs to be said

[Leah]

But this cyberbullying was perpetrated by a grown middle aged woman against a 13 year old child. I know relational aggression can cross boundaries, including age groups, but I just haven't heard of it in this extreme before.

What really gets me is the total lack of remorse and the show of sympathy to Megan's grieving family, when she knew full well what she did to contribute to that child's death.

Dear DreamSinger,

Seemingly then, NO-ONE came to this child's aid --- with the culpable Bystanders and Witnesses, choosing to sit back and watch, enjoy, the drama unfold and escalate, with some joining in!  To the point of no return.

Society : sign of the times, in which we live.

Perpetrators --- guilty, as evidenced, of the total destruction of a young life, with premeditated, planned, THOUGHTS  and WORDS.

The woman is a dangerous individual, a highly skilled Emotional Manipulator, both cunning and devious, as evidenced.

Cyberbullying is a true fact and it effects the human heart, soul and minds --- it is part of the real world!

Foolishness, to think, that one can switch a computer off and the words will disappear --- they have been imparted to the person and there they remain.

Personal ACCOUNTABILITY and RESPONSIBILITY for ones actions is a necessity in life when engaging with other human beings.

WORDS are powerful --- they can either; build or destroy!

Sincerely yours,

Leah

[lighter]

The fact that this grown woman, a mother, can drive a child to suicide then skip away scott free..... is so unfair. 

I'm speechless to find an adult was behind this entire charade. 

And she takes no responsibility for her actions.  ::shaking head in disgust::

[BonesMS]

For ANY ADULT that would do something THAT EVIL TO A CHILD, AND THE CHILD's FAMILY......I believe there is a special place in !@#$ where these evil MONSTERS will burn for ETERNITY!

Bones

[Leah]

Classifying this case a harassment issue completely fails to address the most serious aspects of the methods Lori Drew employed to lead this youth to her demise.

Considering this case a harassment issue is incorrect because during the 5 weeks Lori Drew baited and groomed her victim, the attention was NOT unwanted attention.  It was not harassment at all.  It was invited attention.

Megan participated in the conversations willingly because she was lured, manipulated and exploited without her knowledge.

It’s important to understand the difference between a bully, whether covert or overt ........ and a predator.


http://weeklyvice.blogspot.com/2007/11/megan-meier-new-law-with-fatal-flaw.html


Premediated by a Predator : planned and executed, by a woman, who is a mother!


Shocking and Evil

The truth.

Leah

[mudpuppy]

On top of all this Megan's mother said that Megan had gone on trips with this family and the other mother knew she suffered from depression and was on medications for it.

If Megan's parents don't want to seem to profit from their daughter's death then they could sue this woman and donate the proceeds over and above their costs to a charity in Megans' name. Letting this woman off scot free just encourages the next nut to do the same thing.

mud

[finding peace]

I recognize this energy, I can feel it...it has the same smell, the same presence of my childhood home, when Daddy could abuse his daughters in the middle of the night and then act like it never happened and be Mr. Wonderful Father and and expect us to be adoring good children back, oh yes, and the good law enforcer...he was a criminal investigator. 

Me too. 

Like you I too am torn - on the one hand I want this woman to pay, but at what cost - who else will pay a price for this woman's evil?

Something else has been troubling me.  I am so glad for the outrage expressed by so many on Megan's behalf.  The thing I am troubled by is why isn't there this type of public outcry every time a chid is abused or taken advantage of, or murdered.  I don't say this to take away from the outrage expressed on behalf of Megan, this is as it should be IMO.

Why isn't society outraged to this extent every time a child, wife, husband, the elderly, is abused or worse murdered?  Have we become numb to it?

Peace

[lighter]

 The internet's the sign of the times.

Human weakness and sociopaths attending to their regular business have always been a part of life.

No matter the Century,  they're always here.