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Fundamentalist religious background

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yuki:
I wonder if Ns do feel the stress and negative feelings. I've always sort of envied her deep denial and little fantasy world - she can just believe that everything is fine while I'm here dealing with harsh reality. I've often felt that her N has caused me more pain that it has for her. I mean, she set up a certain life style for herself because it served her in some way. It was dysfunctional and unhealthy, but she created it so that it would fulfill her needs. But for me - I didn't create that and I didn't choose it - I was forced into it. The system was there to take care of HER, not me, so it was more damaging for me to be there than for her. I don't know if she feels bad about anything... if she did, I don't think she'd ever admit it (she would see that as a weakness).

Maybe there is something to Ns living to be old. She keeps telling me that she's going to amaze everyone by living to a very old age. She also thinks that she appears/acts much younger than she really is and that she can keep on doing that, so even if she gets old it won't matter. Sheesh.

Ellie:
My dad did the same thing. Just as the kids started to get into the church thing, he dropped out - but made us all go with our mom, then yelled when we weren't home in time to make his lousy lunch for him because he was too lazy to get off the frickin chair and make himself a sandwich! He said we wanted to starve him by not coming home when he thought we should. So my mom's escape was church, but when one of us started to act a little 'religious', she belittled us saying we were acting stupid and didn't really have 'religion' in us. She never felt we come achieve the level her 'god' expected. She knew what 'he' wanted and we weren't good enough. She thought everyone else there was good enough to be 'saved', but if her dear child claimed to be - she rebuked them. Then she'd tell the dad, and he would make the kids sit in the living room while he played endless tapes from religious leaders (now fallen religious zealots) and told us we had better listen good and change our ways.

Which way is the right way? Oh, not 'god's' way which is spelled out in the bible, but mom and dad's way - the one that keeps changing every hour - just to keep you on your toes so you can never get in RIGHT!!!!!  :?

Now both parents are in church, but they go to different ones - dad is too good to go to the church the mom goes to.

And because I dropped out 3 years ago - FINALLY - I am going to hates  :evil:  in their minds.

I will probably go for this one - but if heaven is where my N parents are spending their eternity - there had better be more than one heaven - cause I sure do not want to spend my eternity with them!!!!! :twisted:

Ellie:
I have a question for those with a philisophical background:

Can an N go to heaven? One of the 10 Commandments is "Love thy neighbor as thyself". If an N cannot love anyone else, even his own child, how can he possibly obey this commandment? And forgiveness is one of the main teachings of the bible. But an N can find no room in their hearts for forgiveness.

Less:
Hi Ellie,

Oh I laughed out loud when I read your comment about not wanting to spend eternity in heaven with the N's.  I too have thought about this and would rather pass on eternal life thanks very much if I have to spend it with my mother!! But, my evolving sense of things is this: On earth we are always striving for wholeness, as we are on this board - reclaiming lost and unexpressed parts of ourselves. Our hell, the N's hell is living this splintered existence. I'd like to think that our spiritual selves are more whole  or entirely whole- maybe work to be done ...but on the road.

Sometimes I watch Crossing Over and I cringe when John Edward talks about being reunited with loved ones. No, No!! a lone voice in tv land cries!
So I gotta think that we are more light, less dark on "The other side." But just in case I'm wrong....would you like to sign my petition?

Please excuse if I've offended. It take spiritual work very seriously -just having a silly night (It's all MM's fault, I'm not taking any blame! LOL)
LESS

mighty mouse:
Howdy All,

Good question about if Ns go to heaven. I will out myself right now to being a bit of a heretic.

But I believe more along the line of the Bhuddists.....there is heaven and hell right in our little bodies. And it seems to me that Ns are already in hell.

I agree with Les(s)...we who are trying to find wholeness and have awareness are in a better place. I hope that gets rewarded if indeed there is a heaven.

MM

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