REGRET$: On Tayana's 'Suggestions from My T' thread she gave a perfect description of how she does not want to wind up, if she doesn't plan for the future. The constant anxiety. I'm 57, tired of the grind, and didn't plan. If I didn't live with my mother, I'd feel fairly desperate. But things loom. When Mom passes away, I will inherit a mortgage that right now is beyond my means. Plus a car payment, utilities, taxes, and upkeep. I've just sent my D The Last Bailout to get her moved to another state for school. No contributions to my IRA for years now. I have enough put away to live on for about 9 months. Hopefully, retirement would be longer than nine months! So, what do I do now?
DEBT$: I should be able to be out of debt within a year, with belt pulled tight. I just told my D I couldn't fly down to help her unpack, etc.
$TARTING POINT: I have almost conquered the paperwork phobia, which has had everything to do with my years of not taking responsibility for the reality that is my financial life. (THAT part of "Reality is my friend" I never wanted to hear.) I have established a new paperflow system on an old cedar chest in the hallway between my 2 rooms, so piles of paper need never enter my bedroom, which is now to become a sanctuary, not a dumping ground. I have organized files. I have made every possible payment for my mother automatic. I don't balance our checkbooks but I do keep an eye on it.
NEXT TA$K: No more eating out. If I meet friends, I'll have a beer or soup, but not a dinner. No more getting up too late to make lunch, and wasting money at the convenient place across from work. Other than that, there's really no reckless spending. I don't shop. I do a Goodwill Store clothing spree once or twice a year, around $50 a time. I just bought shoes over EBay. My mother's daytime caregiver goes to the grocery for us. I think the food expenses are managed pretty well. But I need to cook more on weekends. Ideally, I could save money by letting her last-hour-of-day companion go, too, except it's such a godsend for me to come home and not face my mother's demands. It has added serenity to the week, but there is a real cost. Have to think about that one. I don't think I should give that up for my own sake. I can now go to a church meeting or meet a friend occasionally, and it's made a big impact on my mental health to not feel so trapped. But it's almost $200 a month. I pay it from her account, but still, any money I save her, also saves me, in the long run. (What doesn't go for her care can go to home upkeep, for example.)
I think I need to set up a Pay Myself First thing. Where money goes into the IRA without my thinking about it, as Tay mentioned. But I've never been sure whether one should do that while one still has debt? I put my side business on hold because I didn't want to spend more on it until my debts were cleared. In the meantime, daughter needed more help for medical things and moving, so there it went.
But now that she's in grad school she will have, at last, health insurance, so I've told her the well is dry.
That's just rambling, but I think it's so helpful to be able to think through things out loud.
FANTA$Y. I have no certainty nor reason to believe it, but it's possible that our old (94) family friend who has no family may leave me something in his will one day. It could be an antique chair. Or nothing. But I do find myself sometimes wondering if there would be that windfall to ease the worry one day. In the meantime, though, "Fantasy is NOT my friend!"
So grateful to Tay and Iphi for starting me thinking about how valuable it could be to share financial issues and advice and strategies -- or just cheerleading -- on the board.
thanks,
Hops
