Funeral? closure

[Overcomer]

We just got back from Phoenix for my H moms viewing.  She requested no funeral or memorial service and then to be cremated and to have her ashes scattered in the desert. We went against her wishes because we had the immediate family and spouses pay our last respects and a minister said a short message.  Lots of tears.  Lots of regret.  Just a few weeks ago my H cursed her because she did not send my a birthday card.  Now we know she was sick.  His last conversation she hung up on him.

[Overcomer]

I am convinced that it is important for me to always have a relationship with my parents and to always be nice.  Even though we have had our issues I do not want to have regrets when they pass.

[lighter]

(((Overcomer)))

I'm so sorry this is so painful and there are so many regrets.

The service is for the living, not the departed.

I think it's OK for you guys to have that ritual and try to find some closure and peace.

I'm so sorry your having this tough time.

[Overcomer]

Thanks!  Actually it is not me that is having a tough time-it is my H and his sisters.  His mom was a critical parent and their is quite a bit of dysfunction in the fam.  They are one of those families that want everyone to THINK they have it all together but the youngest 40 year old daughter has tried to commit suicide 4 times and the family revolves around her. My H is scapegoated as the bad guy because he will not play the game.  They all drink and hide it.  Classic dysfunction.

[gratitude28]

Kelly,
I wish you and your husband peace. I am sorry this is so hard. I think there will always be regrets, no matter what you have done or not done.
Love, Beth

[seasons]

Sending healing thoughts to you and your dh. I'm sorry for this sad and difficult time. Love seasons

[Ami]

Dear Kelly,
  It sounds like you are re-thinking your relationship with your M. Am I right? Are you thinking HOW you will act,now? Are you conflicted and confused as to what changes you will make with your own M?
                  Ami

[cats paw]

Kelly,

  Though I don't write much, please know you and your family, especially your husband, are in my thoughts. 

cats paw

[Leah]

((( Kelly )))

Sincere thoughts to you and your H, and to your family at this time.

And I understand your personal contemplation.

Love, Leah

[Overcomer]

My mom and I are doing better.  She is just trying so hard to keep her edge.  I want my day in the sun.  but I realize it just does not matter as long as I am a good mom.  it is time to put my health first and let her live her life under the delusion that she is THE one.  I can live with that and keep the peace.

[changing]

Overcomer-

You are a wise person and your husband is blessed to have your support. Hope all is well and sory for your loss.

Love,

Changing

[Ami]

Dear Kelly,
 It sounds like you are getting some peace.I am very happy for you.              Love   Ami

((((((((((Kelly))))))))))))))

[Overcomer]

Yes I am learning.  I have set my boundaries and now I just have to stay as un frustrated as I can and I think I will be ok.  I only freak out once a month and if I can keep my cool those days I will be ok too

[Ami]

Sounds like a plan(LOL)                      Ami

[Overcomer]

Well what I didn't tell you all was the DRAMA that happened on the way back.  They had an ice storm in Iowa (where we live.)  We thought maybe we couldn't get home but we were gonna try.  We flew into Dallas and it was the bumpiest flight I had ever been on.  I was white knuckled and was praying the whole time.  We were landing and we finally got close to the runway.....could finally SEE the ground when the pilot gunned it and flew back up in the air!!!  The whole plane was talking.  What the ????? 

So he finally makes an announcement that he couldn't see the end of the runway and decided not to land (I think it is because there was some plane there and the air traffic controllers told him not to land.......)  So when we finally land the flight attendant says "ladies and gentlemen, there are several passengers who are late for connections so if this is your final destination, then please remain seated so those with connections can get off."  Well, we watched as every single person ahead of us slowly got their items and got off.  So I said rather loudly..................."hey if you do not have a connection PLEASE sit down and let us off!"  Everyone ignored me and meandered off the plane.

So we finally get off and start running through the airport.  We have to grab a shuttle and we are clearly late for our connection.  We finally get to our connection and luckily it was late.  Then there is an announcement.....WE HAVE OVER BOOKED BY FIVE SEATS.  IF YOU WOULD GIVE UP YOUR SEAT WE WILL GIVE YOU A $250 VOUCHER, DELUXE HOTEL ACCOMODATIONS AND A MEAL VOUCHER.   My H said no....he wanted to get home.

So 15 minutes later they announce the flight was cancelled.  We all ran up to the desk.  They rebooked us the next morning and booked us at a Motel 6 that we had to pay for.  There was no restaurant.  We had no luggage.  It was wet and dreary.  So we walked 15 blocks to a gas station and got all soggy.  My h wanted beer.  We went in there and they sold no beer!!  ( I was glad...)  We bought toothbrushes and deodorant.  Food.  We walked back.  I said, "Well, let's look on the bright side, at least it is not raining!"  Two minutes later it started pouring!!!  We were soaked.

There was no shampoo.  No blow dryer.  My hair looked so bad the next morning!!!  I looked like Rosanna Rosanna Danna!!!

It was comical and will be a story I often tell!!  I am afraid of flying!!!!!

We should have taken the first offer.............it was like Deal or no Deal..............and we lost!!!