excuse me but ministers are people too

[reallyME]

Ok, by virtue of the fact that I admitted I'm a minister, a pastor/prophet/evangelist/deliverance minister, whatever vocation you want to see me as, or none whatsoever if you choose, I've noticed the whole mood of this board starting to turn again.

Please, just because I'm a preacher of the Bible, don't lose sight of the thing that brought me here to begin with.  I, TOO was abused.  I was a victim of another minister and family.  THAT was why I came.

Now, if you choose not to espouse to Bible beliefs, that has always been your prerogative, but I will rise up when I feel that my beliefs are under too much scrutiny as well.  Freedom of "religion" is part of this country and I aim to take a stand when it comes to my right to spiritual identity as well as other forms of identity.

I did not offer anyone any type of counsel nor pastoral help on this group, yet automatically people are throwing "digs" at me as though I was.  I merely answered some questions posed by you, Leah, never intending to "help" you in any way.  I did give my view to Tayana, as I want it clear that I do not agree with her choice on sexuality, but I did not venture to help her or anyone else in any way, nor would I unless God already prepared that persons' heart to be receptive or that person came to me for help.

Sincerely,
Pastor Laura (former NPD/spiritual-abuse victim too)

[reallyME]

one more thing...sometimes I feel like I just want to scream at some people "DROP YOUR DEFENSE! I AM NOT YOUR NARCISSISTIC PARENT OR BROTHER OR SISTER OR FORMER FRIEND OR MINISTER OR TEACHER!  I AM LAURA, ME, NOBODY THAT HURT YOU IN YOUR PAST, SO DROP YOUR DEFENSE TACTICS, PLEASE!"

[lighter]

ReallyME posted:
"I did not offer anyone any type of counsel nor pastoral help on this group, yet automatically people are throwing "digs" at me as though I was."


I'm sorry, I thought you did offer online pastoral services......


or.....


something (mediation?) in the last couple days.

Someone already said spirituality is a very personal subject on the board and that it's a painful trigger for many.

That it's been used recently as a weapon just makes it that much trickier so.... I wouldn't take it personally, Laura.

[Gabben]

Hi Laura,

I've been sitting back watching all that you have been taking -- your perception is right on. I felt sad for you because I see someone who is just being real and outspoken about her faith and for some reason there is passive aggression in the form of suggestion and subtle attacks being directed towards you.

Seeing what is happening to you on the board had caused me to feel frightened to speak up and jump in. I have been once again thinking I should leave the board because it is not safe - I want to be able to talk about my FOO anger, shame, guilt and heartache and healing without feeling afraid that people are going to jump on me for being real.

I also want to talk about God - like you said yesterday - "flying from the trapeze." When I first got here I was too flying -- but my voice keeps getting smaller and smaller and smaller and pretty soon it will be... poof gone! I think that is what people want.

If that IS what people want then just be direct...tell me what you think;  that I am an abusive N and you want me to leave...Come on is that really what your hearts and conscious are telling you??????

People are using the power of suggestion to control the public opinion.

I'm sorry Laura - you are a good person.

Lise

[Leah]

Laura posted ....

I merely answered some questions posed by you, Leah, never intending to "help" you in any way.


Dear Laura,

That is not accurate.

On the "Newbies and Oldies" thread I posted some valid questions for "Newbies and Oldies" on the board

for the purpose of clarification for all - members and visitors.

You postively agreed that they were valid questions and thanked me for posting them on the thread.

Please refrain from mis posting against my name, in a defensive reactive mode.

Many people here have voiced their voice today on Spiritual Abuse.

You need not become defensive - surely, there is no need to.


Thank you

Respectfully,

Leah

http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=6358.30

[reallyME]

Thank you both, Lise and Lighter.  I appreciate your support and comments.

I did mention "mediation" regarding Ami and Janet, but only to try and explain that i was here for them both if it would have helped them resolve anything they hadn't already done on their own.  it seems all is settled as best as it can be with them now, so my "services" were not needed in that situation and I'm fine with that.  Bless them both on their way.

~Laura

[seasons]

reallyME,

I just wanted to say I appreciate your candor and how openly you answer any questions brought to you. It is helpful, thank you.

I hear you, as a victim of NPD. (hugs) seasons

[JanetLG]

Laura,

You said:
"I did not offer anyone any type of counsel nor pastoral help on this group, yet automatically people are throwing "digs" at me as though I was."


You 'offered' it to me yesterday on my thread, Laura, and when I turned you down (as I told you that I did not want the 'opportunity' to have you 'talk to me', you said I was 'rude'). Remember?

That was only yesterday.

Janet

[lighter]

::pushing self away from keyboard, just in case Janet needs it again, lol::

[Leah]

LeahsRainbow posted

These, I feel are valid and most important poignant questions

.

Laura posted

Those were VERY valid and important. Thanks for sharing them with me.

on the thread "NEWBIES and OLDIES"   http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=6358.0


Where everything was interacted both ways, between myself and Laura, with respect and cordiality.

Therefore, it is puzzling as to why the sudden burst of such defensiveness in multiple threads and posts.

When there was absolutely no problem at all.

Just healthy questions for Newbies and Oldies

which was happily received and happily responded to ---- and gratefully received.

Leah

[tayana]

I did give my view to Tayana, as I want it clear that I do not agree with her choice on sexuality, but I did not venture to help her or anyone else in any way, nor would I unless God already prepared that persons' heart to be receptive or that person came to me for help.

Laura,

I am not going to argue with you about what you perceive as my "choice on sexuality."  I did not ask for your help or guidance.  I merely expressed curiosity about your beliefs.  We are all here on the board for the same purpose, or at least I think we are.  Please do not insinuate that I am discounting your role as minister or your experiences with abuse and NPD.  You stated that you were a minister, I think it's normal that people would have questions and would be curious about your profession.  Just like I would think it were normal if people wanted to ask questions of someone who posted they were a psychologist, doctor, counselor, teacher, IT person, or any other profession.  It's normal to be curious.  I don't think any of the questions posed to you were meant to be abusive.

T

[reallyME]

Tayana,

I was not having issue with anyone requesting information about my profession.  I was saying that ministers are just PEOPLE.  Ministry is a vocation, a calling...it's what I do, not all of who I am.  I didn't take any offense at you whatsoever.  I merely let you know that I stand firm on the Bible's handling of sexuality.  I also did not offer you any counsel whatsoever.  I'm well aware of different choices of sexuality and some I disapprove of.  As a person, I don't know you to say whether you are someone I'd include in my "circle" of association, but I will say that I do not approve of alternate lifestyles, whether I counsel the people living in them or not.

Leah, I'm cool with you all the way around.  You were just asking questions and that's fine. 

Janet: Laura,

You said:
"I did not offer anyone any type of counsel nor pastoral help on this group, yet automatically people are throwing "digs" at me as though I was."


You 'offered' it to me yesterday on my thread, Laura, and when I turned you down (as I told you that I did not want the 'opportunity' to have you 'talk to me', you said I was 'rude'). Remember?

That was only yesterday.

Janet

there appears to be a misunderstanding here.  I did not say you were rude because you refused my counsel (WHICH, ONCE AGAIN WAS NEVER EVEN OFFERED IN THE FIRST PLACE!).  I said you were rude because of the way you told me that you did not EVER want to have me private message you.  It seems that if someone doesn't automatically jump onto your side, you write them OFF completely.  That is black/white thinking...so, now I'm ALL BAD in your eyes?  so be it.  I'm fine with that, Janet.  As I said, I have many friends online and off and I'd never force anyone to talk to me or be friends with me.

Personally, I can't really legitimately call ANYONE on a forum, whom I've never had a phone call with, never met in person, spent time with, etc., a "friend."  That is not what a friend is.

A friend is someone whose life you have been involved in intimately or closely...someone whom you'd drop everything for, to help out, someone whom you spend time with and do fun things together with, someone who you'd fight for and with if needed.  A friend is more than text on a screen, nice or not nice. That's truth.

~Laura

[JanetLG]

lighter - have you got that keyboard handy?

[tayana]

The reply I'd like to make is hateful and inflammatory, so I won't make it. 

Lighter, could I borrow that keyboard too?

[reallyME]

I am feeling some not so nice feelings as well, so I will be "quick to listen and EXTREMELY slow to speak" realizing I have to share the earth and this board with many people.