Author Topic: No feelings left  (Read 3636 times)

Discounted Girl

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No feelings left
« on: June 10, 2004, 04:47:53 PM »
Wow -- logging on here seems like visiting a town where I once lived. R is gone, Jacmac, Phoenix too it seems. Where's Echo? Portia, Seeker and CG, glad to see you have not moved. I had to peek in here to see if the evil guest(s) had been vanquished, it appears so.

The NQueenMother called me -- can you believe it? She picked up the phone and actually called me after 3 years. It was a 6 min conversation about nothing, including the weather -- our communication was totally superficial, without even a warm tone of affectionate acquaintanceship. I felt/feel nothing -- that proved it, it is over. I feel no different having heard her voice -- nothing has changed. I am really convinced now that her final tirade on the day of my father's funeral washed the black sludge out of me. I am an orphan -- I have been an orphan all my life, but I didn't know it. The little girl with pigtails and teardrops has finally got it straight.

Well, it sure is nice to read the snappy posts here. If there is one redeeming quality derived from being an ACON (other than Portia's unstrained mercy) it might be a witty personality. The N's that I have known do not possess such traits. Their pompous air renders them unarmed opponents in a battle of wits.

Portia

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« Reply #1 on: June 11, 2004, 07:21:52 AM »
:D Hiya Discounted Girl, good to hear you again! I bet it is strange, I like the idea of a town where you lived. You asked where Echo went? I guess that was Acappella? She took work caring for “at risk” children and we haven’t heard from her since (if you’re still reading Acappella, hello and I hope you are okay). Yep, all the others went and it’s quietened down a lot in terms of no (current) intrusions from unhelpful Guests or Sam V supporters. Thank goodness! Talking of old-timers… Bunny is still here and as insightful as ever; Rob has been back occasionally and I think his parents are moving away; Nic has a new life and is still looking in (he sounds good); Rojo was back again a while ago and Jaded is here at the moment. Anyone else?...

Hey, a 6 minute conversation every three years, that’s 2 minutes per year, does she send you a Christmas/birthday card? Did you know it was her on the phone or were you totally surprised? Wow. I wonder what made her call. Your words are an inspiration though, about your reaction, or perhaps lack of reaction. Emotional orphans I know. You used to be sooooo angry DG (in an amusing way too,  :D some of your old posts were great), has that subsided? This nothing you felt/feel, I hope it’s a big positive nothing, a big nothing to give to her with everything kept for yourself and those you love. That’s a big positive 0 (like a complete circle of hugs).

No true sense of humour those Ns, although that phone call must have seemed like a joke to you, just not a funny one. Hey, I can get angry on your behalf thinking about it!  :o How can she just phone you like that?! Ha ha….that’s a huge piece of learning isn’t it, not fighting everyone else’s battles?  :roll: *Sigh* That ‘unstrained mercy’ is in short supply for some Ns….but they still want all the blood with their pounds of flesh!

Discounted Girl – from ACON to ICON in my eyes.  :D Lots of hugs P

Anonymous

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No feelings left
« Reply #2 on: June 11, 2004, 02:14:02 PM »
Hey there, DG!

Thanks for checking in...I've missed some of the folks from earlier days too.  I'm still here waving my pom-poms!  :D  I think it helps me keep perspective and distance from the funhouse.  Someone recently wrote about seeing Ns everywhere now and I agree.  It's an epidemic!

I join Portia in asking you about your mom's call.  Perhaps it was just a confirmation from the universe that your truth is valid after all, just in case you were wondering.  :?   It does sound as though you have moved further down the road from the anger Nness spreads around.  In the past I would have analyzed an event like this phone call to death, but it happened, it's over, that's that.  Good for you!  

Hope you'll stick around.  The board has increased its safeness quite a bit since the really weird invasions of N personas.  Take care, Seeker

sonia

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« Reply #3 on: June 11, 2004, 08:05:06 PM »
The board has increased its safeness quite a bit since the really weird invasions of N personas. Take care, Seeker

Hi all,

What's the deal with the Ns on the board. I'm new and have found this a nice place so far? Can you state any more about this situation.

sonia

Anonymous

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No feelings left
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2004, 01:03:05 AM »
Hi Sonia,

Portia, DG and I and many others were all participating on the board for some time and sometimes a few people would come in and start attacking people for having opinions and generally wreaking havoc with people's rights to express themselves, putting them down, etc.  Quite messy and disruptive to the constructive conversations that have been taking place now.

This happened months ago and has since ceased.  No worries.  I'm glad you are finding this a safe place to come.  It has been quite a godsend for me.  Peace, Seeker

phoenix

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No feelings left
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2004, 08:54:11 PM »
bye

Portia

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« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2004, 12:06:28 PM »
:D phoenix!  :D
The car sounds gooood 8) nice to hear you, hugs P

Discounted Girl

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No feelings left
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2004, 01:06:50 PM »
Hey Portia -- it was really nice to log on after a few months and see your bright self here. You always make me smile (and think, but when I think I have to go lie down lol). Yes, I guess Echo and Acapella were one in the same (funny how fast the grey matter fades). The quiet after the turmoil of NGuest(s) feels sort of how it must feel after a haunted house has been cleaned (remember the little dwarf lady?). N's like bad spirits can only get in if there is an open portal.

Yes, a 6 minute conversation in 3 years ... not bad. I don't think my blood pressure rose at all. I must admit to a couple of hard swallows but that's about it. It was meaningless -- I have become more emotional in a telemarketing call. I doubt she will call again though, I'm sure her Nmentality is thinking "well, I have done the 'bigger' thing -- I called her first, now it is her turn to try to be a good person and return the call so I can start beating her up again."  :twisted:

Ain't gonna happen. I am loyal to this girl first, from now on -- the rest of my life belongs to ME.  :D  I will tell you that she called my son first and he called me to tell me she was about to call. Later that day he told me some things she told him and they were more lies. She is gonna go to her grave lying about me. Even at this late day I had to set him straight on a couple of things -- I protected him from her wickedness, shielded and hid her abuse to me, all his life, so even though he knows a lot about it now, it is still shocking to believe a mother would tell such lies about her own child; i.e., therefore, there must be a little bit of truth to it. Well, I had to set him straight on those specific things she said that day to him. If I had to recant each and every lie she tells about me, it would devour all my time.

You know, I watched Mrs. Reagan's children love and comfort their mother this past weekend and how dignified and courageous she was. Then I remembered how awful my mother acted to me during the time of my father's death and all I am going to say is the woman has not a bit of class, such a human pig is she.

Thanks Portia for the big 0 analogy of a circle of Hugs ... that's nice ... sort of like other big O's   :oops:

Well, I am still angry, I just don't spend as much time on it as I did. I have lost 20 pounds and colored my hair and I'm strongly considering a 2-week tour-vacation of the western U.S. -- my husband doesn't want to go, so I would be going alone (well with about 30 other people).  :D  Somehow it seems appropriate, since I have felt alone most of my life.

Thanks for your anger on my behalf sweet Portia -- I bet you could reach across that big pond and yank her hair a good one.  :wink:

Seeker, you are still a keeper in my books. Keep those poms poms bouncin' girl -- you are needed.  :D  I intend to hang around if only to get pumped by you.  8)  I would say that I will remain quietly in the background, but even though my family rendered me voiceless, I do have a big mouth.  :lol:

Phoenix -- you are out there California cruising in your little convertible. You go girl !!! Keep the sunblock on and don't wear one of those long scarfs -- remember Isadora Duncan ... !!!!  8)  :D

Later y'all ....... and Dr. G. -- thanks for keeping this place going. It has helped more people than you will ever know ....  :D

phoenix

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« Reply #8 on: June 17, 2004, 04:06:04 PM »
bye

Anonymous

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« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2004, 07:47:13 PM »
Quote from: phoenix
I am attempting- my fingers are crossed- to get my Broadband hooked up on Monday. Then I can rejoin the discussions. With a better frame of mind than a few months previous.   :) Phoenix


What a pity, it's so sad you couldn't achieve that better frame of mind you hoped for Pheonix. I'ts quite sad reading you again. Your all over the place. CG is pp. Portia is CG. So does that mean Portia is pp. Still the same old Pheonix. What's that you say gal?  You're now a US postal worker now.  That fits. Please, don't take your anger out on your customers.

SOME WORDS OF COMFORT. I feel so terribly dreadfully sorry for you. There are so many wonderful books on healing, but that doesn't apply here. Because, sadly, you require some serious professional psychiatric medical intervention. And that's sad, but nothing to be ashamed of.

WORD OF ADVICE. You need to get help, and quickly. Whatever is up with you is quite serious. You're latest carrying on is really quite bizarre and disturbing.

VeryConcerned&AnonymousGuestHoldingUpGarlic&Cross

phoenix

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No feelings left
« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2004, 07:57:03 PM »
bye

Anonymous

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« Reply #11 on: August 09, 2004, 01:09:37 AM »
Uh, excuse me....

Phoenix, I hope you don't mind if I step in to make a point on your behalf.  (Even though you seem to be handling this well on your own.)

What is the point of dregging up past posts and trying to prove some lack of credibility of Phoenix?  My reading of her posts shows someone who is consistent and working through a large family issue.  She came here for support and, I hope, is finding it from people who want to offer constructive observations.  

Character assassination is definitely not helpful to anyone.  And btw, people are allowed to be inaccurate and a bit inconsistent, it's human.  What is all this finger pointing about?  My guess is someone is feeling very threatened and needs to make themselves feel better by pulling someone else down.  Time to find a different way to feel better.

My Two Cents.