Adults: are we just naughty children in bigger skin and clothing?

[reallyME]

As I sat here this morning, getting ready to accompany my 8 yr old, Amber to her MVP award ceremony at her school, it occurred to me...this question that is the title of my thread.

It took Dr Grossman to LOCK our conversation, in order for the situation between Janet and Ami to end.  Do we actually NEED a supervising adult to smack us on the hands and discipline us, in order to help us create peace?  Sad

First of all, my part in it, would never have even BEEN, had i just kept my mouth shut, rather than reply to Janet in the first place.  I guess it just doesn't pay to think that my type of voice is really welcome in some situations by some people...and that's ok with me.  I happen to be very happy with my beliefs, who I am, what I stand for.

I only hope others truly are happy with theirs and themselves as well.

Maybe we all need to just "grow up" a little...including ME.

~Laura

[Certain Hope]

Maybe we all need to just "grow up" a little...including ME.

~Laura

Yes, Laura... I know that I have plenty of maturing to do, as well, by God's grace, as I submit my will to His and stop trying to lean on my own understanding.

I don't have many comments these days, but - internally - there are many things that go on which I don't care for one bit. And people... well, there are some of them that I don't care for one bit, either. That's bad news for my spiritual development and I know it.
The way I look at it, anyone can be all gooey lovey dovey to those folks whom they *like*, but the true test of someone's maturity (and love!)is how she behaves when she encounters disagreement and conflict.
From what I've seen here, you've set a great example in that regard here, Laura... and shown that you are "no respecter of persons", you know? You don't seem to pick and choose to associate only with those from whom you expect support, but offer the same face to each and every one. I appreciate that!

With love,
Carolyn

[Ami]

Dear Laura,
 * I* appreciated your comments, greatly. If everyone  else can comment--WHY can't YOU? Once s/thing goes "public"--it is a free for all-----  good ,bad and indifferent(IMO).
 My opinion---YES--- we are just children in bigger skin. However, as adults we can give bigger wounds. Evil must be owned within the self and  in other people.
Problems arise WHEN people don't own their OWN evil, individually. Peck talks about this. Evil reigns in denial.
  I used to be able to SEE my own evil and the evil in others. I was "safe" as long as I could do this. I was safe from  expecting too much from fellow travelers(other humans). They had the SAME flaws as I did..
 I was safe b/c I only went "so far" with other people. They did not have the part of me which is "mine" to keep.
 Once I gave that to my M, I was lost. Now, I am reclaiming it--bit by painful, wrenching bit. That is what getting my voice is about. As a dear friend said yesterday,"Better on the board, than in real life.''(lol)
 Yes, it IS better on the board than in real life. However , AFTER the board, you CAN do it in real life,as I see it                    Ami
 

[Ami]

Just an "aside"--IF Richard did not stop several threads, there would have been vicious bloodshed. In real life, what would it have LOOKED like?---a mob trampling, a lynching of a black man for looking at a white woman, Nazi Germany, a shark attack--- all of it.
  This is the evil that lies within the human soul--all of us  (IMO)                           Ami

[Certain Hope]

Just an "aside"--IF Richard did not stop several threads, there would have been vicious bloodshed. In real life, what would it have LOOKED like?---a mob trampling, a lynching of a black man for looking at a white woman, Nazi Germany, a shark attack--- all of it.
 

In my opinion, this is a gross exaggeration... and more:

Having experienced 26 years of parenthood through 4 children, each of whom has his/her own personality styles and quirks, I've noted this:

The somewhat raucous, loud, mouthy, pushy, in-your-face-or=whatever one may be the most obvious one to blame when a ruckus occurs,
BUT
upon closer observation, I've noticed that there maybe a continuous, low-level baiting and taunting going on just behind the scenes, along with numerous manipulations and maneuverings of deception, the cumulative effects of which are actually responsible for an explosion on the part of aforementioned loudmouth.

In other words, things are not always what they appear to be, and I've seen enough feigned innocence to recognize it in one who is constantly crying "Foul!"

Carolyn

[Ami]

You know WHAT is good about the board, Certain Hope, we are free to disagree-.              Ami

[reallyME]

Some really awesome things have been shared and I want to just highlight them now:

Certain Hope:

The way I look at it, anyone can be all gooey lovey dovey to those folks whom they *like*, but the true test of someone's maturity (and love!)is how she behaves when she encounters disagreement and conflict.

--------AMEN!


Ami:

My opinion---YES--- we are just children in bigger skin. However, as adults we can give bigger wounds. Evil must be owned within the self and  in other people.

---------------I think the key word here is "owned"...I've been learning to let other people OWN their own stuff.  I will NOT receive someone's projection about me onto myself, UNLESS God shows me that I have the flaw they want to assign to me.

Certain Hope again:

BUT
upon closer observation, I've noticed that there maybe a continuous, low-level baiting and taunting going on just behind the scenes,

--------------- I have noticed this too, but not only just BEHIND the scenes...if you are really intune to manipulation and control tactics and you read some of the wry senses of "humor" or little subtle "jabs" or "digs" on this list, you will know what I mean. 

Whether it's outright (OVERT) abuse or hidden (COVERT) abuse, the animal by any other name is still THE SAME!

~Laura

 
 

[Gabben]

Hi Laura,

I have not read the rest of this thread because deep down inside I am an implusive two year old and I just could not wait to respond!! 

Last night I was reading Judith Viorst Imperfect Control. Laughing at myself because my favortie word lately has been "now!"


http://www.amazon.com/Imperfect-Control-Lifelong-Struggles-Surrender/dp/0684801396


Anyway-- I had the same thought this morning, picturing Mr. G saying to himself "the kids are at it again."

It reminded me of my sister and her three little toddlers; when they are in the mini van strapped into their chairs they will start taunting each others and throwing things -- I can hear my sister "stop it!" 

Lise

[Ami]

This question---are we just naughty children .....? is one that I have been wrestling with.It goes,again, to what I call the N layer---our deep instincts and feelings. (I made up the name )
  My M decimated me for "normal " feelings and desires--simple wants. I "feel" that I am 'bad" when I have "normal" emotions and impulses--selfishnessm envy, lust, greed, etc
  The really hard part of this is "undoing' the deep brainwashing.In my head I know it is silly,but my body and mind embraced these lies and still see them ,as truth.
  I KNOW that wholeness is when a person can look at ALL of themselves and ALL of life. That is my goal.      Ami