Creativity

[tayana]

I was making my daily troll through the blogs I read on a regular basis, and I found the following post:

http://www.queercents.com/2007/12/18/thoughts-on-my-year-and-encouraging-words-for-creative-people-and-their-careers/#comment-89345

I am very dissatisfied with my current job because its boring, and routine and I don't really get to use my creativity.  So I've been working to try and rebuild my writing career.  My goal is to slowly build up until I make enough money that I can live comfortably on writing alone.  It's a long, slow haul I know.  I think that's part of the reason that I'm having trouble just sitting down and writing lately.  I've gotten into a reworking mode so I can submit.  I have three pieces out right now, and I sent one to work yesterday to rewrite.  It does me no good to have millions of words written if I never submit them.  It's nice to read about someone else who made a similar decision.  I really don't like being trapped in my stale, boring office all day.

[tayana]

Congratulations Leah!  That's great to hear.  I've been keeping my eye open for freelance stuff, but so far haven't found much.  I haven't given up though.  Maybe I'm just too picky.

[tayana]

Amber that definitely helps.  Right now, my goal is to increase my current income, not to replace it.  I've closed my online business, and I'm hoping to replace that with revenue from writing.

Of course this means actually submitting things, and most writing jobs only pay quarterly, not monthly.

I've been looking for a blogging position that offers some regular work, income and gets my name out there.  I haven't found anything so far.

Your plan sounds great!  I agree with you about art too.  I love real art, but sometimes the cost is prohibitive.

[tayana]

Amber,

Yep, I tend to be able to write and write and write.  I have two SERIES of books written.  Complete books.  One is a suspense/romance series, the other a fantasy.  The fantasy series has four complete books done, all over 100,000 words, with a fifth in the works.  The mystery one has two complete, two partials and one that I just started.  I just started a new piece, and I won't even mention all of the other stuff I wrote in between all of that.

The problem is that I simply don't submit it.

I think I have a deep rooted fear of actually succeeding with something.  I also have an issue with reading things, not liking them, and shelving them.  I have a book I"ve rewritten 14 times, complete, total, start from scratch rewrites because I can't get it right. 

I also tend to mess around with styles and genres a lot.  So I'll have an idea and go with it and write in a particular style or genre for a while, then do something different, totally reinventing what I do.  I have a lot of work I could submit, but it seems like I shop the same one or two pieces, and that's it.

[Hopalong]

Hi Amber,
I wrote you a post yesterday wanting you to know how sorry I was you were feeling shunned. But I think I lost it when my login timed out.

I do read and try to follow your Twiggy and Role posts, but they're very dense and intense and sometimes I don't have the focus to join in the analysis. I'm pretty awed by the effort and want you to know it doesn't go unnoticed.

What makes me sing inside when I think about you is your art, your relationship with your hubby, your pleasure in the OBX (Avon! Rodanthe! Salvo! Ocrakoke!) ... and I so understand the struggle with smoking. Ain't very analytic of me, but I do always want to chime in, if it's welcome: I so hope Amber will also address the physiological nicotine addiction aspect of smoking cessation when she's ready.

Dull as dirt. But warm-hearted thoughts coming your way always, and ain't never no shunnin'.

love
Hops

[tayana]

Amber, good luck with quitting and kicking the addiction.  I know it's rough.

What's the worst that can happen?  I don't know that it's so much a fear of success as much as it is hearing a little voice in the back of my head saying, "You'll never make money at this.  Why are you bothering?"  That was my parent's message about me wanting to be a writer.  I guess I"ve just internalized it to the point that I believe it.  I've had success, not huge success, but enough that I could say, "look at this."  But I still get all of the nonsense of you should try this, send here, write more like this.

The submitting process also wears me down.  I seem to have a knack for choosing places that fold, or aren't good to work with.  The reputable places reject my work, and I can never figure out why.  They reject it very nicely with personal rejections and suggestions for improvement, which tells me it's worthwhile, but not what they want.  So I get frustrated and give up for a while.

[Hopalong]

Hi Tay,
I've done a good deal of freelancing. Care to say what sorts of articles you write?
I can offer whatever I know, which isn't much, but you never know if a little piece of my info would cross paths with a little piece of your area and help.

hugs
Hops

[Bella_French]

Tayana, my only advice is that if you think your writing needs more work, then don't submit it and set yourself up for a rejection. Just give it the time it needs and be patient. I mean sitting on it for 5 years or more might be reasonable, when it comes to releasing a series of books.

But if you're thinking the books are really good, and you've had some professional input which confirms that, then just go for it! If you haven't obtained any professional advice as yet, say from an editor or similar,  then I'd suggest doing that before seeing a publisher.

I'm sorry to hear about your job, too. I know it HURTS doing something day in and day out thats really boring and limiting. I've pretty much strictly followed my heart when it comes to work, and so far its worked out well for me. I've had many creative jobs that I loved and now I run a business. Whoever said you can't make money out of art is wrong. I make a ton of money, although I am very interested in marketing and that works well with my creative work.

Just keep believing in yourself, and work a solving each problem as it emerges. i think writing is such an important profession, and it could really take you somewhere too!

[tayana]

Hops, I do fiction mostly, but I've been thinking about doing articles about parenting an Asperger's child.  I've done some general writing articles.  I've also considered doing something related to being a lesbian parent.  I just haunt job boards and look for something interesting.  I know that's not the best way to do things, but that's what I do.  I seem to be afraid to do more than that.  I want to do it, but at the same time I'm afraid of both succeeding and failing.

I'd really like to get this going so that I could work from home eventually.

Bella, see the problem is that I'm never happy with my work.  I can get a story to where I really believe in it, and the people who read it really like it.  I'm just never happy with it, so I revise endlessly.  I finally had to develop a system where I could only revise four times and then I either had to put the story away or send it out.  This actually works for me even if I get a rejection the first time, because otherwise I'd never submit anything.  I get caught in this endless trap of trying to make it perfect, and I end up revising th elife out of it.

Thanks for your encouragement.  It's wonderful to see someone who's successful with their creative work.  I've made money from my writing.  The problem is that I can't seem to continue producing and submitting.

[Hopalong]

I hear you, Tay. It is really hard to keep the motivation going to write for pay, when you really are fulfilled by the fiction. (That's my dilemma, and why I'm glad to no longer write for work.) Massive relief. I feel as though I own my own imagination again.

My exH, a sculptor, once sagely said what I did freelancing, even though I was successful, was like a sculptor being required to carve ashtrays all day long. He was right.

Still, a suggestion: Editorial Freelancers Association was very helpful to me. I subscribed to their email job list and got quite a few assignments and a couple book contracts that way.

xo
Hops

[tayana]

Oh, thanks for the tip!

[Bella_French]

Hops, I do fiction mostly, but I've been thinking about doing articles about parenting an Asperger's child.  I've done some general writing articles.  I've also considered doing something related to being a lesbian parent.  I just haunt job boards and look for something interesting.  I know that's not the best way to do things, but that's what I do.  I seem to be afraid to do more than that.  I want to do it, but at the same time I'm afraid of both succeeding and failing.

I'd really like to get this going so that I could work from home eventually.

Bella, see the problem is that I'm never happy with my work.  I can get a story to where I really believe in it, and the people who read it really like it.  I'm just never happy with it, so I revise endlessly.  I finally had to develop a system where I could only revise four times and then I either had to put the story away or send it out.  This actually works for me even if I get a rejection the first time, because otherwise I'd never submit anything.  I get caught in this endless trap of trying to make it perfect, and I end up revising th elife out of it.

Thanks for your encouragement.  It's wonderful to see someone who's successful with their creative work.  I've made money from my writing.  The problem is that I can't seem to continue producing and submitting.

I can definately relate! Its harder with work when the `finishing point' is SO arbitrary, but  apparently its very difficult for most `artists' (according to my various teachers over the years). I think painting pictures is the hardest creative work I've ever done, because you can rework a painting so much, that it begins to deteriorate and become worse. theres no `undo' with painting, lol.

One thing that has helped me along the way was doing creative work where i wasn't quite so attached to it, say design work for clients, or meeting a specifications that someone else set. Over the years, it has created a detachment that has enabled me to also detach from my own creative work somewhat. I still want to be good, and I still strive for excellence, but I've realized that excellence can be pretty subjective, and that my work is not my entire worth as a human.

Perhaps the underlying attachment is thinking our work is part of us, or a reflection of us? And perhaps it is, in a way, but we also have to allow for learning processes and natural errors, if you know what I mean.

X bella

[SallyingForth]

Hi Tayana,
I read your website blog from December 11, 2007 about your rejection. They said, 'the story moved a little slowly.' I learned a remedy for this from a man who used to be a writer and who is now an editor. He said when rewriting your story start from the third or fourth chapter, throwing out the first two to three chapters. I was hesitant to follow his recommendation. However, I found my story flowed better and started with the action, not the introduction to the action.

aka Sally