Revenge

[flower]

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Thanks so much for your insight and support.
 It aided my healing. Too much of my heart
was in this post to let it remain here for posterity on the web.
The post served its purpose and now it is time to
edit it or gently take it down.
 
To every thing there is a season, and a time
to every purpose under the heaven:  Ecclesiates 3:1

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[seeker]

Hi flower,

Jeez, does your mom take the cake or what?    

I read your other post, too, about weird phone calls.  It does sound like she is trying to drive you literally crazy.  Like she's stalking you.  I know, I can hear it already from your mom "how can a mother who loves her child be considered a stalker?  Like I do any of those things you speak of!"  

How do you keep sane?  Do you just say "there she goes again?"  From what you have written she sounds very destructive and malicious.  Can you unlist your number, or did you do that already and someone gave it to her anyway?  

My daughter was the one to bust my NSIL's chops on not leaving messages.  N started to give my kids a hard time about me not answering the phone, and my d said, why don't you just leave a message?  She used to phone me and hang up when I said hello but got bored with that when I sounded happy and content v. upset and tense about life in general.  She's a real weirdo.  

She used to drop by unannounced all the time until we moved.  We now live on a very visible corner where any of the neighbors and people SHE knows could see her.  She used to walk on our sidewalk when the sprinklers were going as though we had turned them on knowing she was going by.   That's so the neighbors could see how we were "mistreating" her.  She's great for manufacturing stupid petty dramas.  Nothing major league though like your mother.

You may want to contact a DETECTIVE or a lawyer to see how you can get her off your back.  Gather proof that she is harassing you in this way and get a restraining order from any contact, third party or otherwise.  She sounds very disturbed.  You may also want to contact a psychiatrist to see what advice they can give you on handling this type of family situation.  

You need your sanctuary back and peace of mind.  Best, Seeker

[mighty mouse]

Flower,

I agree with seeker. I too think this sounds like a stalking situation. And it's bizarre to boot.

One thing you can do is call block on your phone....block any number you know of anyway.

I wonder if something like a warning letter from an attorney would do? In any case it sounds like you need some professional help. But whatever you do, please be resolute enough to carry it all the way through. And don't let her see you sweat.

Good luck.

MM

[Anonymous]

From experience, I think a warning letter would feed into her need for attention.  She would be validated that her attempts "worked" since she got the ever so coveted ATTENTION for it . . . just a thought.

[Portia]

Hiya Flower, just a quick thought, when those men turned up at your door? What would anyone without a crazy N mom do? They’d say nope, sorry, wrong address, goodbye.

But because of your mom (and I’d be the same) you have to know the details of how they’ve got it wrong (so that you can maybe decide for yourself that it is her at work). But I thought, it’s not good is it, you wasting your time trying to find out the problem with these men. It’s their problem, not yours. Close the door.

I’m paranoid for you about your mom. She’s crazy. I get the feeling she was hiding across the street. Watching the whole pantomime, gleefully relishing how she’d got you into this situation. Imagine how deflated she’d be if you had just closed the door. Could you do that? I’d find it difficult!

And your posts are helpful. My mother asked me for a sample of my signature….and I didn’t do it on instinct ….now with your experience, maybe I know why I didn’t. Thank you. P

[bunny]

flower,

Your mother is a huge troublemaker. She sounds sociopathic (a person who lacks normal feelings of prohibition and enjoys committing antisocial acts). You may want to consider pragmatic ways to deflect her actions and quickly end any wierd activities. My first step would be to assume it was her doing it. My next step would be to think: How can she be prevented from doing XYZ? If she manages to create trouble, how can her goal be prevented now and in future as quickly as possible?

bunny