N behavior but not an N

[Ami]

Dear towrite,
  Thanks for explaining the situation. My intuitive feeling is that she feels embarrassed  (she may not even know it) b/c she was so "needy."
 It is hard to change roles in relationships and still sustain the relationship.
 The key ingredient to maintaining a relationship(IME)is the ability to be able to communicate, honestly . With Maria, I always joke that we should be husband and wife b/c we have been through many stages together - We, always could  have a heart to heart talk. After that,we were closer. She can take honesty without getting defensive .. I can take honesty in the same way.
Without the ability to communicate ,the relationship is not worth much(IMO) . It is probably better to simply let it go. I am sorry, towrite. She sounds like she "was" a good friend ,up to this point. It must be really hard for you right now.           Love   Ami

((((((((((((towrite))))))))))))

[towrite]

I forgot to add the following - don't know if it's even relevant.

She has begun seeing a new therapist and is already in love. Two, she is OCD - mildly when she not anxious but greatly is she's under stress. As I said, she's spending money like a wildcat (which she doesn't have) and acts more manic than anything. She's already telling people "This will blow over", like my feelings aren't important.

[Ami]

I forgot to add the following - don't know if it's even relevant.

She has begun seeing a new therapist and is already in love. Two, she is OCD - mildly when she not anxious but greatly is she's under stress. As I said, she's spending money like a wildcat (which she doesn't have) and acts more manic than anything. She's already telling people "This will blow over", like my feelings aren't important.

Dear towrite,
  Your new post helps to explain some more things. One thing that I didn't get. Is your friend in love WITH the therapist or with a man.?
 However, she seems to be in her own craziness, rather than 'rejecting" you, per se. However,I still think that part of it could be embarrassment for being "needy". In any case, she seems to be wrapped up in such a way that she is not a good friend for sure, for right now. It could pass. I guess that there are unknowns, towrite. For the moment, she is treating you shabbily, though.So, you need to distance yourself ,if it is more than you care to deal with. as I see it.
  Life is so pitiful for us, as humans, when we have "egos" which put us through so much  pain.          Love   Ami

[towrite]

Sally, I know what you mean about changing. A T I once had said people always get mad when you change the rules. That's not so much the case here, IMO.

Ami - there's now a new wrinkle: she is now telling people that she's the victim b/c I did such and such to her.

I don't have the energy to resolve it with her now. It's just not in my top 5 list b/c I have to reserve all my energy for finding a job. She is the most stubborn person in the world. But I have never ever known her to be ungenerous and/or unkind. She's very tolerant.