Does Fear Just Overwhelm you---At times ?

[Ami]

Medication can be a touchy issue. It is one of those life issues that is a personal decision. On personal matters, my view is that I have screwed up my life so badly that I cannot really tell anyone else what to do(lol). I have chosen the no medication route for myself----for better or worse. All choices have up and down sides,I guess. I certainly don't want to enter ANY  disputes for ---Oh--- about a hundred years---lol.        Ami


(((((((((Laura, Bean,Kelly, Kate, Sally)))))))))))0
.

[SallyingForth]

I 'wish" I could say that I was afraid of tangible things like Bean,Kelly and Sally. I didn't even want to answer yesterday b/c I was embarrassed. My fear IS of tangible things but also of "nothing"
 I am simply afraid much of the time of what could happen and that  I would not be able to handle it--- that I would become "unglued"
 I am writing about it as a way to face it and then heal it.
             Love   Ami


(((((((((((Bean, Kelly, Sally))))))))))))))))


PS --Sally, Could you explain how you don't have fears.if you care to. It is so "different" and "strange to me to hear your  comment, Sally.

Thanks for the hugs! 

I have no fears because:
1Jo 4:18      There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

I know God loves me and He demonstrates that everyday. That's the simplified version.

[Ami]

Dear Sally,
  Thank you for your answer. You don't know it, but an angel sat on your shoulder and told you to write to for me(lol). Thank you, Sally .                                  Love   Ami

[towrite]

Ami - I'm not sure I can break it down into steps. But the process was intellectually simple - in practice it wasn't easy.

1. I had to feel safe wherever I was
2. I had to make a conscious decision to trust my therapist, to know she wasn't going to pooh-pooh me, humiliate me, or any other thing which would have driven my fear even more underground.
3. I had a third instruction on top of all the lawyers of fear - oops, was that an F slip or what? My father was a lawyer! I meant layers. The very top layer was "no one will believe you and you're crazy anyway so you won't remember what we did or said." For years my parents, when I would try to bring up a past event, would hoot and say I had "a vivid imagination - that never happened!" That was a hard one to get through. To trust that someone would believe me for the first time in my life was even harder than getting down to the real fear, I think. But doing it brought relief.
4. The above 3 took some time and lots of discussion and tears.
5. When I got down to the real fear, my T allowed me to act like I was the same age when it happened - hiding behind chairs, trying to run away, beating on walls, etc.
6. The biggest thing for me - and the thing that turned the tide - was my T acting like the "ideal mother". When I was in the midst of the fear, she didn't encourage the fear. Instead she gave me words to say in my own defense which an "ideal mother" would have said in my behalf while the event was going on. Like "Leave her alone!"  "How dare you do this to an innocent child? What kind of monsters are you?" "If you take one more step toward her, I will come after you with my baseball bat." "You are so self-absorbed and weak that all you can do is take out your own fears on this child."

When most of the fear fuel had run out, I would be exhausted and then my T would give me all kinds of encouragement and positive thoughts and tell me how lovable I was. When I left the sessions, I would be exhausted and lighter - a great weight would be gone. It encouraged me to tackle the next one.

Is this what you're asking?

Kate