Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Careers and work
mighty mouse:
I just wanted to say my fantasy is being a pillow fluffer at Crate and Barrel- okay, just kidding.
No, what I really wanted to say is that interior design requires a degree and interior decorating doesn't. I'm not sure I made that crystal.
MM
les:
Got it -the difference between the two. I have a friend who started with wall treatments and wallpapering and then added other elements as clients wanted them - no degree, just a passion and well...a sore back.
How cool! the bus! Ever since my philosopher friend started doing this, I've thought, hmmm, maybe I could do that too. He loves the time it gives him throughout the day to read...I think it is so great that he walked away from the chew you up and suck you dry world (hmm, sounds like my mother) he was in before. [contemplate and watch the afternoon sunlight]-now that's my idea of living at its best, although I'm sure it must come with some downsides as every job does.
Teaching - I teach ESL right now. It's a good job but a bit stressful at the moment ...not to mention the voice problem issue, so I only teach in the mornings now and rest this strangled throat in the afternoon. I've been advised by speech therapy to get a special mike to help me project my voice ( oh I know, the irony) I think being raised by N's leaves you exhausted. A friend mentioned this about being raised by alcoholics, also my situation..that we are so tired as adults. I think it's why I am seeking a quiet job where I don't have to perform all the time (a lot of demonstrating the language, as well as a lot of listening and helping with pronunciation, grammar etc) Being an INFP as well, perhaps teaching is the wrong profession?
I think it is a real gift -to be able to feather a nest beautifully - I have no frigg'n idea...as if I'm blind or something but like good chocolate, I know it when I taste it.
There are great books on Perfection - Addicted to Perfection, I believe is one. It is so crippling. I'm sure you've tried to release yourself from its grip. Read any good books on the subject?
Good to hear you are looking into interior decorating - I have this picture of you in your red cape sitting in a splendid livingroom! Keep us posted! Just also wonder if you enjoy your current occupation? Does the rhythm of the day suit you?
Les
Anonymous:
Hi everyone, may I join in?
I am a booksmart, people stupid person also. Never got office politics etc though I could suck up to my boss and teachers very well. guess where I learned that? :roll:
It wasn't until very recently that I learned about the real effects of being invisible. I thought I was just a loner, didn't realize the full invisibility of it all. I realize that I sabotaged myself in different extracurricular areas because unconsciously I learned that it was dangerous to draw attention to myself. Either my father or my brother, and occasionally my mother would pound on me verbally, make fun of me, or make snide remarks to undercut my confidence. It was okay to make good grades as long as there was no fuss about it (they expected this of my siblings and myself, but no rewards as that would make the others feel bad...ugh!)
I had the potential to really excel and am just now trying to coach myself into ignoring the feedback, which is really just jealousy, of my family talking in my head. They say the stupidest things when they are really competing for the same things I want. So what's wrong with me wanting to stand up and be counted?
Even now, when they try to sound "encouraging" it sounds hollow and fake. It makes me wince.
I also think certain occupations are devalued as a waste of time: artists, writers, etc. In my family, you must wear a suit and get in the business world. I was so ill-suited (whoops, no pun intended!) for that arena! One does not have to climb the corporate ladder to make a contribution to society, find gainful employment, and find purpose and hopefully happiness. Oi! I have more to say, but must sign off now.
Thanks for listening, Seeker
les:
Hi Seeker
Like MM, you describe yourself as book smart and people stupid. Was this a message you got from your family? Your posts show a very people wise person.
"I learned that it was dangerous to draw attenton to myself"
] I really relate to this. How can you shine, blossom when it seems to be a threat to other family members' egos. I remember one day last year I resolved to tell my mother something about myself. I told her that I was doing the crossword on the way to work, learning how to do it anyway. Well, she said those are sooo borrrrring, and she would only ever do the "cryptic" crossword because it challenges her mind. And that was the first and last time I've tried to tell my mother something personal about me. Wham!
[/quote] so true. I couldn't agree more. I'm reading a book "Narcissism - denial of the true self -by Alexander Lowen. He says, Narcissism describes both a pyschological and a cultural condition. On the individual level it denotes a personality disturbance characterized by an exaggerated investment in ones' image at the expense of the self. ...On a cultural level, narcissism can be seen in a loss of human values- in a lack of concern for the environment, for the quality fo life, for one's fellow human beings.
What is that wonderful quote by Nelson Mandela: something like...'and who are you NOT to shine your light brightly'.... must go find it!
'
ciao for now people-WISE person,
(as with logging in I am now trying to learn how to use the "quote" option and making a real mess of it. Can anyone advise?!
Les
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Ellie:
Hi Les,
I think I can help on the quote thing. Type the text you want in quotes on a new line. Hit the 'Enter' key again to separate the text from other text. Highlight (scroll over the text with your mouse to select it) and click the 'Quote' button. It puts [/Quote] at the start of your quote and at the end of your quote. Then when you submit your message, the quote goes into a pretty little box with the tag 'Quote'. That's it. Works the same for the other buttons. Have fun learning!
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