Why I come here

[Gaining Strength]

I come here on a search.  I am searching for myself, for my way out.  I come here for solace and for understanding.  I am moving forward but I am still lonely and so alone.  This time of year of course - with the darkness - is so trying for me.  And Post X-mas is trying.  I do best when I have much activity.  I am moving towards a new life in the new year.  I am moving out of "victimhood" where I have been waiting for someone, something to help.  I must push myself forward and opt over "determination" rather than fall back into a protective lethargy - the place where fear draws me in.  I must face my fears and anxieties and seek the experience of love to replace and overcome them.

I must replace my longing for family with a determination to reach wholeness and that necessitates letting go of sorry over all that is lost - letting go of sorrow of what might have been, what never was,  what i had hoped for.  This requires letting go of the past and letting go of jealousy of what other's appear to have (loving family and relationships) and keep my eyes on moving forward.  Sorrow over the past and over lost dreams has actually fed my shame in the past.  I have made so much progress in overcoming the shame.  And that is what I must keep before me right now.  I must keep my thoughts on the progress that I have made and let go of my fear about how much is before me.

Learning to change my thoughts has been the greatest gift.  I now have a tool to use to move forward.  I will make it.  I will continue to write myself towards that victory.

[seasons]

GS,

Learning to change my thoughts has been the greatest gift.  I now have a tool to use to move forward.  I will make it.  I will continue to write myself towards that victory.

Your gifts equals victory, so lovely, much love to you for the New Year. ((seasons))

[Ami]

I come here on a search.  I am searching for myself, for my way out.  I come here for solace and for understanding.  I am moving forward but I am still lonely and so alone.  This time of year of course - with the darkness - is so trying for me.  And Post X-mas is trying.  I do best when I have much activity.  I am moving towards a new life in the new year.  I am moving out of "victimhood" where I have been waiting for someone, something to help.  I must push myself forward and opt over "determination" rather than fall back into a protective lethargy - the place where fear draws me in.  I must face my fears and anxieties and seek the experience of love to replace and overcome them.

I must replace my longing for family with a determination to reach wholeness and that necessitates letting go of sorry over all that is lost - letting go of sorrow of what might have been, what never was,  what i had hoped for.  This requires letting go of the past and letting go of jealousy of what other's appear to have (loving family and relationships) and keep my eyes on moving forward.  Sorrow over the past and over lost dreams has actually fed my shame in the past.  I have made so much progress in overcoming the shame.  And that is what I must keep before me right now.  I must keep my thoughts on the progress that I have made and let go of my fear about how much is before me.

Learning to change my thoughts has been the greatest gift.  I now have a tool to use to move forward.  I will make it.  I will continue to write myself towards that victory.

Dear GS,
 You are  a soul sister to me. I am on the same road.. You are not alone. To me , that single  fact brings tremendous comfort. I hope that it does to you ,also.         Love  Ami

(((((((((((((((GS))))))))))))0

[Hopalong]

I know you will make it, GS! Your process is bright and visible.
(Sending you a mental SAD light to shine some happiness into winter mornings...)

xxoo
Hops

[Overcomer]

GS  It is a journey is it not?  And life is tricky.  Just about the time life seems to settle down our parents disappoint us.  But it is very cool that you are going forward with a vengence!  You are inma make it!

[Lupita]

GS I came here first in search of info. After google it. Jus had read the book children of the self absorbed. And I was in shock. Then I kept coming because of loneliness. Just to talk to people. Now I love this place with all my heart.

[lighter]

GS.... every word of your entire post made sense......

you understand where you're going....

and  I think you'll get there.

It is about giving up hope and letting go of things, so we can move beyond.


Now.... how to embrace the deserving and ignore the unworthy?

It's all about our boundaries and ability to identify and honor our feelings.....

 and 

Ourselves: )

[Lupita]

Now.... how to embrace the deserving and ignore the unworthy?

And to be able to discern the difference. Not everybody who makes us feel bad is unworthy nor vice versa.

To me, that is the most difficult since I do not trust my perceptions. I know that I might be distorting. Sometimes, a person gives you a compliment you do not know what is the purpose, because you are so affected by your N parent.
Sometimes somebody is trying to help you and you feel attacked. Etc.

[teartracks]

GS,

Yours is a very beautiful voice.  Often a sweet gentle breeze for me in my own stormy times.   

Sometimes it's difficult to be objective about my own progress, but easier to sense the progress of others.  My sense is that you've done very well in 07.

08, the year of new beginnings and here's hoping for both of us.

tt

[changing]

Hi Gaining Strength-

You have been able to accomplish so much. I hope that you have a fabulous New Year and reach an even greater level of peace, joy and freedom in your life.

Love and Thanks,

Changing

[lighter]

It's interesting Lupita.

You look back and see things that you should have paid attention to in the past.

Hindsight's 20/20....... can you look back and see anything that could have told you what your Ex was about?

What bad boy was about?

What your so called friends from book club were about?

Food for thought, not expecting an answer.... I can point out things people from my past, said... did..... things I heard they did from other people.  They were all red flags and I ignored them.... even when I knew better.

At some point, you learn to acknowledge and accept it when people tell you who they are.

You don't discount it or try to explain it away bc you're needy in any way and want things to be different.

You trust yourself to pay attention and make sense of what's in front of you.

I like this rule:

Whatever a man's doing when you meet him..... is what he'll be doing when he's with you.

If he's got a string of unhappy girlfriends who wouldn't tinkle on him if he was on fire..... prolly a good reason for that, KWIM?

If he says he was a pig before you came along..... he's still a pig but he wants you THINK you're the THING that will CHANGE him.  Pffft!

Won't happen, at least in the fairy tail I occupy. 

Sorry about the hijack. 

::withdrawing::  I'll start a new thread if I need to say more about it.

Ahem.... I come here bc I don't have to convince anyone that the improbable happens all day, every day.  And I'm learning from those who've gone before... sharing with those that come after.  Those that aren't deaf dumb, and blind at any rate

[Gaining Strength]

Sometimes it's difficult to be objective about my own progress, but easier to sense the progress of others.  My sense is that you've done very well in 07.

08, the year of new beginnings and here's hoping for both of us.

This place helps me at times find a perspective of myself and it also gives me an opportunity to witness others progress.  Both of these help me.

Here's hoping for all of us in this new year.