PM event

[reallyME]

and I will again say what I've said all along.  Some people on the board, were raised in narcissistic households, which means that they learned how to behave from that standpoint.

I love both you, Hops and you, Bean, and I'm sorry that you both feel hurt or might have reacted in a way that put the other person into a state of discomfort.

As usually tends to happen, it is my heart that you both can forgive each others' shortcomings and find a mutual or individual peace again.

I really do care about you both very much and I apologize if I've said anything that was wrong.  I only had to "go" on what was being told.  I commented about the behavior only based on that, without knowing who the pmmer was.  IF what Hops reported about the "flip flop" in behavior was true, now that i realize it was you, Bean, maybe it was an old defense thing kicking in again?  I just have trouble believing bad about certain people on here and, Hops and Bean you are two of those people.

~Laura

~Laura

[Hopalong]

I love you too, RM.
And Bean, whom I know is a good person.

I just don't want to receive that kind of PM any more.

I think when we feel stuff stirring in a PM dialogue
that feels like anger rising...it's best to take time out
or take ourselves out to the general discussions,
to avoid an aggressive out-of-group exchange.

Because people who were bullied in childhood
can get triggered and hurt when they feel isolated
with someone else venting anger at them. That's all.

(It reminds me of how counselors tell married people
to stop before they say really hurtful things and say,
"I'm getting angry so I am going to stop now, and
I'll talk to you again later" kind of thing.)

We ain't married here, and it's okay to stop engaging.
No need to believe "bad things", though.
I don't want that.

I'm ready to let it go, hope we can.

Hops

[Bella_French]

Bean, I think it was brave of you to admit that you were the person involved. Bravo to you as well!

X bella