Same question--can't seem to find peace with it

[Ami]

For people sick of my asking the same question in different forms, I am sorry. I get closer and closer to putting the truth of it in my heart,but it is slow.
 I feel so guilty for my thoughts. I feel like my thoughts make me a good or bad person. Since I can't "control" what does come in my head,if 'bad ' thoughts come in, I feel like I am a "bad" person.
 I can't seem to get it,in my heart, that the thoughts do not define who you are as  a person, but your actions do. I seem to be stuck, here. I am getting better ,but it is slow,b/c my M brainwashed me to think that anything less than 'perfect" made me "bad'.
 Can anyone relate? Sorry, again, for the same question. I just can't seem to close the door on it b/c I was brainwashed so deeply, I think.         Ami

[Lupita]

My book of cognitive therapy says that we are capable to identify a thought and replace it for another one to produce different feelings.

I am disgusted today, I do not know why, so I am trying to analize what has me so mad and in such a bad mood. 

Not successful  yet.

[Ami]

"Not successful ,yet"
That is cute, Lupita  !                         Ami

[alone48]

Ami,

I can relate, I have MANY bad thoughts, but as you say it is the acting on them that makes you bad. I find myself asking God for forgiveness on an hourly basis (if not more). I am not so afraid of my thoughts, as the fact that I know GOD knows them. he is all forgiving,but I can't forgive what I know is wrong.

In answer to your question, I don't worry so much about that, but continually try to understand how this all happened and ask myself and friends over and over. I'm sure they get tired of it, but until you can understand just keep asking. That right way of saying it ,so the right person gets it and answers it is coming. Hang in there.

[Ami]

Thanks Alone. I wrote the thread with trepidation b/c I have probably written 10 threads with the same theme(LOL). I just WANT  to let my thoughts go by and not feel like I am a "bad" person. When I stop writing threads about it, you will know that I am healed(lol)
Thanks for being such a good friend,Alone.                     Love,     Ami

[Ami]

Thank you,Izzy. A troll would not  embarrass themselves as much as I have(lol)               Ami

[alone48]

Ami,

You can't be such a bad person when you can laugh at yourself. LOL

pat/not a troll either

[changing]

Hi Ami-

Our Izzy is quite brilliant in how she divides things and views them that way. Put Ami in as the focus- brilliant. You are doing so much and I hope this New Year focuses on Ami and her wonderful  and human life!

Love,

Changing

[Ami]

Love it, Alone!                         Ami

[reallyME]

and, since you asked my advice, Ami, I say leave the mother out of your threads, out of your thoughts and out of your life as much as possible.

She lives far away...LEAVE HER THERE.  

This person seems to cause you confusion, grief and pain.

To all who are frustrated over the guilt of "honor thy mother" please consider this.  Did JESUS stay close to his mother?  no, he didnt'.  He moved on in his life, with his friends and his mission.  that is what is best and how life was designed to be.  We were not meant to stay attached to the umbilical cord during our adult years, and if that's how you still feel, then that is because it was PERPETRATED on you and still is, by some very insecure, immature so-called adults that never grew up themselves nor dealt with their own dysfunction. YOu do not have to share in their issues with them, unless you choose to keep moving back into those places where you have to function as a "role" again.

My view.

~Laura

[Ami]

Thank you, Changing. For the first time since I was a teen, I feel hope for a life where I can feel whole and centered. Thanks for your wishes. I wish you  peace and a speedy  end to your" Bagworm "suffering , in the coming year, Changing.      Love   Ami

[Ami]

Thanks Laura,
   I value your opinion!                          Love  Ami

[alone48]

As I was growing up people would ask me if I missed having a mother and I would reply "you can't miss what you never had. I use to feel guilty that I didn't miss her, but in later years learned that  though my father did not show emotion, he was a stable parent. From all I heard of her, she would not have been. I use to have dreams as a kid that she tried to come to me to tell her side of the story (?) and I would wake up screaming. This went on until I had my first child. I felt guilty for hating her since she abandoned us, guitly for not grieving for her, all of this from a woman I never knew. So I can imagine what guilt a real mother can provide.

[Lupita]

HI, just came to say hi, so you can get the yellow mark that makes it a hot topic. for 15 posts.   

[Lupita]

Sorry, I was immature, my previous response was not intended to be cute. So, I came am played. I will grow some day.