HELP - So Stuck need assistance

[axa]

Hi guys,

I have had such a bad day today and would like to rant about it.  I love the course I am doing, I find the readings exciting, interesting, enlightening.......etc.  I have no difficulty understanding quite complex concepts.  I am good at shaping words and explaining myself in class.  I can speak with passion and clarity BUT I have great difficulty writing.  I went through this with my last paper and it has come up again.  I have a paper due in a few weeks.  I have done lots of research, am clear about my topic, have good arguments etc BUT I cannot write about it.  It is so difficult to explain.  I cannot find the words.  Today I spent all day approx 6 hours and came up with 150 words.  I have 6500 words of notes/quotes etc but I cannot put them together into sentances that flow, make sense, sound some way intelligent.  I am soooooooo frustrated, have cried, tried talking myself into a place of calm, taken a bath and I am lost.

I tried to visualise what it is like and this is the best I can come up with.  I am me with my information, arguments, notes etc all ready to start writing but to do so I have to move from me, into this very large body and write with authority and clarity and I cannot bridge the gap.  I am struggling with words.  I am frustrated and angry because I have done so much work for this paper and it is as simple as not being able to start a sentence.  I try and write as I talk and then form the sentence so that it sounds more academic and adult but I just sit there with my fingers on the keys and nothing happens.  I feel so stupid and useless.  I have tried to talk to a few of my class mates about this but they say things like "But you are so smart in class etc.......  they just do not get how impotent I feel.  I really could do with some help.  I so want to do well I just don't know how to write.

I went on the net and looked at some sites on writing essays and papers and I understand the structure etc no problem but I cannot get a flow and when I read information on grammar etc I just shut down.  PLEASE HELP

Axa

[Leah]

Dear ((( Axa )))

Sincerely, I give you my deepest empathy as this is my current struggle also, with regard to something I have to complete this spring.  So as you may gather I am not about to be of much help.  Though I offer my sincerest support and understanding. 

I feel sure that we will * see * some helpful useful responses to your plea.  In a way, thank you, for I am hoping to learn.

My own feeling is, that it is due to a lack of confidence in 'what if I don't state it correctly?' at the moment.  Maybe this resonates with you?

Thoughts of you,

Leah

[Gaining Strength]

I have two suggestions:

1)  Try talking about your paper and your ideas and recording your conversation.  Then transcribe your own words. Out of that you may begin to have some paragraphs that you can edit and cut and paste.

2)  You are dealing with an anxiety issue that might be tied to something in your past.  Perhaps you can simply deal with the anxiety and see if that gives you enough freedom to write otherwise see if you can figure out the underlying issue is a short period of time.

[CB123]

Axa,

This is writer's block and anyone who does any kind of writing gets it.  I get it with every single paper.  Every one.  

After you have done this a few times, you won't get panicky about it and when you don't get panicky, you are half way to getting there.  The best thing I have found to jump start my writing is doing free writing.  Any kind will do:  just doing the Morning Papers (where you wake up and write for 20 minutes with out stopping) will really help.  

You can also sit down and begin writing a free write of everything you know about the topic you are writing about.  You have been knee deep in this research for months now--you have a lot of information in your head and it is hard to sort until you get it on paper.  Don't refer to your notes--just start writing about what you know off the top of your head.  Don't try to organize the material.  Don't try to edit as  you go.  Just write and write and write.  It will not be wasted time.

The stuff you write will be the growth medium for your paper.  When you read back through it, you can connect your research material to the things you have written.  You will also see where you have left out important points and you will plug them in where appropriate.  That part will be easy.  It's the jogging of your brain that is troublesome right now.

You can also do some brainstorming.  Just begin listing everything you know and putting connecting lines between all of it.  Don't put it in a standard outline form--put each idea in a "bubble" and then connect them with lines.  This is more of a right-brain exercise and that's what you need to jog.  Making a formal outline will only connect with your left brain.

Axa, I have been through this so many times.  You think of writers block as being an affliction of creative writing--I really never thought I would have to wrestle with it in academic writing.  But you do, and you will again.  Just view it as a necessary evil that you have to slog through.  I know you are going to write a great paper.  If you wouldnt mind sending it, I would love to read it.  

Love
CB

[Iphi]

Dear Axa - I understand completely what you are describing.  As a former english literature major, I had to do a lot of writing and I have been exactly where you are and it is soooo hard and upsetting.

Okay, here is the solution I came up with, and it really works.  When you have the reading done, and you have ideas, and you have notes and you have quotes - you are in a great place.  You have everything except a plan.  The hang-up is that you don't have structure/plan yet and that is probably why the whole task is accelerating into an avalanche onto your poor head.  You don't yet have an idea of how it will build and progress and which things to say first etc.

Don't try to write it yet.  Instead work on an outline.  

This allows you to move things around and organize and re-organize without stress.  You can take a chunk of outline and move it later or earlier in the structure of the paper to help you make the argument clearer.  I always include my quotes in the outline (not the whole quote in the outline but a citation to it so I can go grab it) too so I know I will get them in at the right places and where.

I start generating the outline by first brainstorming topic sentences, based on the notes/quotes/reading.  Then those draft topic sentences become the main sections of the outline and under each section I put the quotes and arguments I plan to make.  When I do that I see that I need to add another section or combine sections, change around topic sentences etc.  And then as the outline takes shape, I can also see the natural flow to transition from one section to another.  It's also great for seeing what the conclusion will be.

Naturally when you get into writing things get tweaked, and you can always modify the plan, but it helps to see the whole project with a bird's eye view a plan gives.

[lighter]

Axa...... some people's brains can put concepts in order, keep the tense consistent and make sure theres a fluidity to the product that makes sense and is right on target.

Some of these people get jobs doing that kind of work... and it's easy for them.

Me?  I'd never be able to do that kind of job and if I was forced to.... it would be a living hell.

You may just need to put your paper together as best you can then figure out which of your classmates is good at editing.

Maybe a neighbor is?

Maybe you can trade out something you're good at as a thank you.

Don't beat yourself up for not being great at everything.

Just do what you do best and ask someone who does what they do well..... to help.

I have asked for that same kind of help and it I was so glad I did: )

[gratitude28]

Axa,
This is normal. I find that for me, if I wake up and start writing no matter what comes out- as soon as I get up, I can often get into a groove. Sometimes you can't write because your mind is still filtering the information it has received.
Don't read about how to write anymore... it will just stifle you more.
Take some index cards and separate out the important information into categories. For example:
Card stack one: quotes about yada yada which relate to ... (You will have picked a main theme and a few main points before of course).
Can you give me the subject and I can help you figure out a bit about organizing it? I believe once you feel organized, you will be able to knock it out speedily.
Writing is not hard - the preparation and sorting is the hard part and you have done almost all of that.
If you want an idea on focusing more, let me know if you are writing about somethng technical or literary, etc and I can give you a few more ideas on focusing.
Love, Beth

[Leah]

oooh, can we have some ideas on focusing please, Beth?

Thanks, Leah

[SilverLining]

I remember a professional writer once saying the process consisted of staring at a blank sheet of paper until the blood started sweating out of his forehead.   I find sometimes just starting to write, even if it may not make any sense, gets the flow going.  Then it can always be edited later. 

[gratitude28]

ohhhhh, Leah, I am only good for focusing on things like assignments... I wish I could make life into a big assignment... lol

[Leah]

That's what I was referring to, focusing on assignments, as in my reply post # 1 to Axa

as I have mentioned that I have an assignment to complete this (early) spring. 

It's okay, I can wait until Axa asks you for something on focusing, or go google on focusing, if required.

Leah

[gratitude28]

Leah, I would be more than happy to help you focus. I am so sorry - I didn't read through the rest of the thread. What are you working on????
Love, Beth

[lighter]

It would be great if someone here, who has the time and skills, could do the edit, should Axa not be able to find help there.

[Leah]

Leah, I would be more than happy to help you focus. I am so sorry - I didn't read through the rest of the thread. What are you working on????
Love, Beth

Oh, that's okay, Beth, I understand. 

It was when you said "if you want an idea on focusing" .... my immediate thought was "oooh, yes please" 

It is an academic paper, not to become anyone special, just for ongoing professional development (which my exnh detested).

Many thanks,

Love, Leah


PS >   Just realized that was what they said of me, my exnh, and nmother too!!!!

[teartracks]

(((((((((((((((axa))))))))))))))

It will all come together.  I just know it.  Lots of good ideas here.  Not being a writer, I can't offer much except encouragement. 

tt