As I try to heal shame , I am seeing new things about myself and life. It really hurts to heal and it really hurts to stay sick, so what do you do?--lol
I am putting my shame in to my body, in the form of stomach aches, to a large extent.
I have had this shame for so long , that I guess my body is breaking down. I started having panic attacks in junior high. I did not know what was happening to me and didn't tell anyone.There is so much stuffing of pain that you can do in life before it takes it's toll on you.
I am seeing little bits of emotional health ,as I try to face this shame. A memory came back to me today.
I was sitting in my friends bedroom. I realized that I had to validate, affirm an take care of myself. If not, I was being selfish to other people b/c I was giving THEM the burden of me.
It was not fair to others to give them the burden of defining me.
So, I had an emotional memory of that, today. The steps to health seem so SMALL,especially when I am hurting, but ,they are steps. I did get denuded----- lost to my very core---- and it will take time to rebuilld. I hope that I can recover all that was stolen. Ami
